For anything contemplating Madlax lacrosse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a PR firm or friend of Cabell - and I'm not Cabell. I'm a parent of a lacrosse player who has been with (basically) the same group of boys playing Madlax for several years. VLC does not have the talent at his age group and from what we have observed, they have coaching inconsistencies that have hurt them. Talk to a parent of a VLC U13AA/rising U15AA player. Blackwolf is a great program from what I understand. The cost is about the same. My son was invited to play and has considered playing for the 2018 team. But what it comes down to for him right now is that he is having a great time playing with a great group of boys and he has made friendships that are important to him. To me that is what team sports are about. My son is old enough to form his own opinions about people and their behavior. We have discussed what happened, but I don't feel the need to preach to him about Cabell's bad behavior; he is able to see it for what it is. We have left the decision to him. If he wanted to leave madlax because of what Cabell did, that would be fine with me. This is a great life lesson for him as he will unfortunately encounter people like Cabell his whole life. He sees that Cabell is imperfectbehav and human and capable of embarrassing himself by making big mistakes. I understand that some people get more outraged over this kind of behavior This is just our way of handling it.

This is just the type of thinking that bad football coaches or bad basketball coaches to keep existing. Parents and kids stay with these losers because they love the team or it is providing opportunities for their kid. If you keep supporting these guys,they think they can keep on doing this stuff. What you are also showing your kid is that as long as the behavior doesn't affect him, bad behavior is ok. What lesson does that teach him?

[Anonymous]

There are current Madlax kids/families who are already organizing a mass walkout over this. They are talking/organizing because it's easier to leave if you know the good players/friends of your son are going to do it as well.

Expect to see high turnout for other club tryouts this fall. Those who blindly follow Madlax will be surprised when their son's current team looks a lot different, and they will be the ones kicking themselves for not providing options ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

I could have written 7/24/13 7:50 myself. Almost the exact same circumstances and sentiment. There are a half dozen factors that go into which team my son plays for. The maturity of the program director is one. Only one. My son has chosen to stay with a group of kids he loves playing with. Crazy, isn't it? Guess he will have to rely on me to teach him how to behave. Oh, that is my job anyway. Good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written 7/24/13 7:50 myself. Almost the exact same circumstances and sentiment. There are a half dozen factors that go into which team my son plays for. The maturity of the program director is one. Only one. My son has chosen to stay with a group of kids he loves playing with. Crazy, isn't it? Guess he will have to rely on me to teach him how to behave. Oh, that is my job anyway. Good.

Oh, come on. Of course it is obviously your job. No kidding. That does not mean parents should not want their kid's coaches and teachers to be adults that they can respect and look up to as mentors. You are rationalizing big time.

[Anonymous]

Correct. I am pointing out how the decision to stay with madlax is a rational decision for us, even if others do not agree with it. Every family should do what they consider best. I can see why someone not already in the program would see the email rant as a reason to stay away, but if your son is already on a team with kids he has enjoyed playing with for a few years, it may not make sense to leave. And that is not necessarily a bad or wrong decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written 7/24/13 7:50 myself. Almost the exact same circumstances and sentiment. There are a half dozen factors that go into which team my son plays for. The maturity of the program director is one. Only one. My son has chosen to stay with a group of kids he loves playing with. Crazy, isn't it? Guess he will have to rely on me to teach him how to behave. Oh, that is my job anyway. Good.

So if your son is part of an organization that treats a fellow player (and kid) that way, it's ok to turn a blind eye as long as it's not your son, right?

Great parenting there.

[Anonymous]

Wow, impressive on your part to out so many words in my mouth. I said nothing of the like. My point is that the email rant is one of many factors my son and I considered in deciding whether to stay at the club. I think it is responsible parenting: I discussed the email with my son, he understood it was wrong on many levels, he decided he still wanted to play for that club, and I didn't think I needed to veto his decision. Perhaps it would have been better parenting to force him to quit the team he likes, and either skip club lax altogether or play for a team he is not interested in. Your absolutism and harsh judgments make me wonder what type of parent YOU are. Fortunately, that is neither my problem nor my son's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a PR firm or friend of Cabell - and I'm not Cabell. I'm a parent of a lacrosse player who has been with (basically) the same group of boys playing Madlax for several years. VLC does not have the talent at his age group and from what we have observed, they have coaching inconsistencies that have hurt them. Talk to a parent of a VLC U13AA/rising U15AA player. Blackwolf is a great program from what I understand. The cost is about the same. My son was invited to play and has considered playing for the 2018 team. But what it comes down to for him right now is that he is having a great time playing with a great group of boys and he has made friendships that are important to him. To me that is what team sports are about. My son is old enough to form his own opinions about people and their behavior. We have discussed what happened, but I don't feel the need to preach to him about Cabell's bad behavior; he is able to see it for what it is. We have left the decision to him. If he wanted to leave madlax because of what Cabell did, that would be fine with me. This is a great life lesson for him as he will unfortunately encounter people like Cabell his whole life. He sees that Cabell is imperfectbehav and human and capable of embarrassing himself by making big mistakes. I understand that some people get more outraged over this kind of behavior This is just our way of handling it.

This is just the type of thinking that bad football coaches or bad basketball coaches to keep existing. Parents and kids stay with these losers because they love the team or it is providing opportunities for their kid. If you keep supporting these guys,they think they can keep on doing this stuff. What you are also showing your kid is that as long as the behavior doesn't affect him, bad behavior is ok. What lesson does that teach him?

See I understand what the PP is saying ... it's not about just the one guy in charge, it's about the team that the kids play with, the challenge of the game, the opportunities for play, etc.

My child plays a few sports and does dance. There are some coaches and policies that I don't like but overall they don't impeded the progress or play of the games so I tolerate them. I am not the one on the field playing or in studio dancing - my child is. If she is happy, comfortable and is getting a good experience, then I am not motivated to make a change just to make a statement as an adult.

The family who was on the receiving end of the email - they made a change and it was clearly the right one for them.

[Anonymous]

I will follow up with this and then sign off. I resisted posting in the first place because, from what I have read, these boards are dominated by people who seem ill informed, quick to judge, a bit irrational and holier than thou (e.g., attacking my parenting because I permitted my son to stay with madlax). I only chose to post to show that the poster on July 24 was not alone in his or her assessment and decision. My kids have played a combined thirty seasons or so of a variety of sports, and at one time or another I have seen or heard most of their coaches (or club directors, or parents) say or do something I did not agree with or like. And I have observed over coaches from most of the club and rec lacrosse teams in the area also behaving in an inappropriate manner. The email in question was no doubt more severe, and, importantly (stupidly), in writing. But if I adopted a zero tolerance policy for imperfect behavior, my sons would be confined to sitting at home alone, playing video games, and becoming socially stunted and ill prepared to deal with the variety of personalities in the world. If that is your approach, best of luck to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, impressive on your part to out so many words in my mouth. I said nothing of the like. My point is that the email rant is one of many factors my son and I considered in deciding whether to stay at the club. I think it is responsible parenting: I discussed the email with my son, he understood it was wrong on many levels, he decided he still wanted to play for that club, and I didn't think I needed to veto his decision. Perhaps it would have been better parenting to force him to quit the team he likes, and either skip club lax altogether or play for a team he is not interested in. Your absolutism and harsh judgments make me wonder what type of parent YOU are. Fortunately, that is neither my problem nor my son's problem.

That's like a German saying that he disapproved of how Hitler treated the Jews, but the trains kept running, so it was only one factor to consider.

If you were a real parent, you would tell your son that you need to look at other options in light of this email. Maybe you end up staying with Madlax and that psychopath, but leaving up to the mind of a child is really great parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will follow up with this and then sign off. I resisted posting in the first place because, from what I have read, these boards are dominated by people who seem ill informed, quick to judge, a bit irrational and holier than thou (e.g., attacking my parenting because I permitted my son to stay with madlax). I only chose to post to show that the poster on July 24 was not alone in his or her assessment and decision. My kids have played a combined thirty seasons or so of a variety of sports, and at one time or another I have seen or heard most of their coaches (or club directors, or parents) say or do something I did not agree with or like. And I have observed over coaches from most of the club and rec lacrosse teams in the area also behaving in an inappropriate manner. The email in question was no doubt more severe, and, importantly (stupidly), in writing. But if I adopted a zero tolerance policy for imperfect behavior, my sons would be confined to sitting at home alone, playing video games, and becoming socially stunted and ill prepared to deal with the variety of personalities in the world. If that is your approach, best of luck to your kids.

Keep rationalizing it in your mind. Threatening a kid and his parents just because they decided to leave for another club is not the same thing as, say, witnessing a coach from another club screaming during a game.

[Anonymous]

This type of rationalization is very reminiscent of how Germans justified how they stood by while Hitler and their country committed atrocities.

[Anonymous]

Wow, comparing an angry club lacrosse director to the most murderous regime in history, you are troubled. And, as someone who has distant relatives who were murdered by the nazis, I find that offensive, in addition to just plain ignorant. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don't have a job that requires you to interact in the real world with rational people? Ok, now I'm truly signed off, this is like trying to have an intelligent discussion with an infant. A waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, comparing an angry club lacrosse director to the most murderous regime in history, you are troubled. And, as someone who has distant relatives who were murdered by the nazis, I find that offensive, in addition to just plain ignorant. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don't have a job that requires you to interact in the real world with rational people? Ok, now I'm truly signed off, this is like trying to have an intelligent discussion with an infant. A waste of time.

+1. Get a grip. This is not the holocaust, it is little boys playing a game.

[Anonymous]

LOL. Nobody was comparing that guy to Hitler. It was an analogy of "that sucks, but as long as we're ok, I will choose to ignore a wrong doing" mentality.