my 8 month old is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I doubt very much that you're an abusive parent, or have issues w/ anger management, or shouldn't be a parent or whatever.

You sound like a first time parent experiencing the crazy fluctuations of the first couple of years. It's nuts! Babies have violent mood swings, periods of misery and periods of utter sunniness, anguish they can't articulate any way other than a scream, evolving awareness of a sense of "self" and capabilities that they test in any and every way possible, horrific growth spurts that must be insanely uncomfortable, constant change in their worlds, etc...

I figure it has to be a nightmare for them.

These are the things I tell myself when I lose my cool (which I definitely have done - even with infants). I've yelled. I've stormed off. I've been reduced to tears by how they treated me. Should I be above that? Of course. Do I know better intellectually? Of course. But I'm as human as they are and IT IS HARD! Be easy on yourself and your baby. You'll both have bumpy patches and she'll undergo such huge transformations over the next couple of years.

You WILL see your sunny, delightful baby again. You'll also see the demon!

Hang in there. You're not a bad parent, you're a normal new mommy.

I'm sorry, but my son is 4 and I've never, note even ONCE, even thought he was an "asshole" much less would I verbalize it, even on an anonymous forum. And he can be a very difficult child. I don't think those feelings are normal - they seem a bit past that to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

Not really. Seriously, I have the worst sailor mouth ever and I never even THOUGHT that my child was an asshole. What kind of parent thinks this about an infant? Not a very nice one, IMO. Start saving for your child's future therapy costs now, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-

You are in for a long, long, long, long road if you think an 8 month old can act like an asshole. This implies you think your DD is doing these things purposely to bother you. It's a weird way to view a baby.

Definitely read some child development books and talk to your pediatrician. Toddlers and 2 yos are little walking, 100% selfish terrors (as they should be). And I worry how you will take out your frustrations on your DD during that much more difficult stage.

I don't think it's intentional at all.

Will have to finish that thought in a bit. Holy diaper from hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

Not really. Seriously, I have the worst sailor mouth ever and I never even THOUGHT that my child was an asshole. What kind of parent thinks this about an infant? Not a very nice one, IMO. Start saving for your child's future therapy costs now, people.

Let me guess: you probably have no qualms about using the word "terrible" to describe a two year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

Not really. Seriously, I have the worst sailor mouth ever and I never even THOUGHT that my child was an asshole. What kind of parent thinks this about an infant? Not a very nice one, IMO. Start saving for your child's future therapy costs now, people.

You need a sense of humor. My husband and I joke around that my 6 month old is being an asshole - neither one of us is actually mad at my son. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

boys are awesome if you keep them under wraps but girls can be a handfull and moody. Usually a direct reflection on the mom's moodiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

Not really. Seriously, I have the worst sailor mouth ever and I never even THOUGHT that my child was an asshole. What kind of parent thinks this about an infant? Not a very nice one, IMO. Start saving for your child's future therapy costs now, people.

You need a sense of humor. My husband and I joke around that my 6 month old is being an asshole - neither one of us is actually mad at my son. Get a grip.

+1. We also call her a terrorist. And when she was a newborn, called her Dr. Evil.
Some days are hard, especially when you have an 'easy baby' to start with. Having a sense of humor helps, and so does venting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:boys are awesome if you keep them under wraps but girls can be a handfull and moody. Usually a direct reflection on the mom's moodiness.

I am really not moody at all. I have been in a bad mood exactly one day since she was born, and that was the day I threw the diaper in exasperation. I've been walking around starry-eyed and drunk with baby love for the past 8 months. People always comment that I make motherhood look so easy. Definitely am not used to hearing things like this, but I suppose I can't expect a bunch of strangers to know me from one post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, they only get worse too. She's gonna be a huge c-word when she's a toddler.

Yeap my DD reached this stage when she turned 4. It came out of nowhere. We talked to her teachers about it. It is a phase they go through but they did give us some good tips on dealing with her.

Everyone needs to get a grip. I know many parents who have said their kid was acting like a little dick or bitch. They don't take any anger out on the kids, its just a vent relax

[Anonymous]

Wow, how did you get so lucky for 8 months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I doubt very much that you're an abusive parent, or have issues w/ anger management, or shouldn't be a parent or whatever.

You sound like a first time parent experiencing the crazy fluctuations of the first couple of years. It's nuts! Babies have violent mood swings, periods of misery and periods of utter sunniness, anguish they can't articulate any way other than a scream, evolving awareness of a sense of "self" and capabilities that they test in any and every way possible, horrific growth spurts that must be insanely uncomfortable, constant change in their worlds, etc...

I figure it has to be a nightmare for them.

These are the things I tell myself when I lose my cool (which I definitely have done - even with infants). I've yelled. I've stormed off. I've been reduced to tears by how they treated me. Should I be above that? Of course. Do I know better intellectually? Of course. But I'm as human as they are and IT IS HARD! Be easy on yourlf and your baby. You'll both have bumpy patches and she'll undergo such huge transformations over the next couple of years.

You WILL see your sunny, delightful baby again. You'll also see the demon!

Hang in there. You're not a bad parent, you're a normal new mommy.

+1

I love how someone posts their understandable and reasonable reaction to something and all these people chime in to say how you are a jerk and that they are essentially better than you. It sounds like you are having your own little tantrum. That is ok. We all do. These people who pretend they do not are full of it. I remember reading that even if we are not angry towards them, but we show anger,kids think that we are angry at them .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

Not really. Seriously, I have the worst sailor mouth ever and I never even THOUGHT that my child was an asshole. What kind of parent thinks this about an infant? Not a very nice one, IMO. Start saving for your child's future therapy costs now, people.

You need a sense of humor. My husband and I joke around that my 6 month old is being an asshole - neither one of us is actually mad at my son. Get a grip.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:boys are awesome if you keep them under wraps but girls can be a handfull and moody. Usually a direct reflection on the mom's moodiness.

I am really not moody at all. I have been in a bad mood exactly one day since she was born, and that was the day I threw the diaper in exasperation. I've been walking around starry-eyed and drunk with baby love for the past 8 months. People always comment that I make motherhood look so easy. Definitely am not used to hearing things like this, but I suppose I can't expect a bunch of strangers to know me from one post.

you title your post referencing your infant as an asshole - what did you expect? praise and nominations for mother of the year?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who has three kids. The first two were easy, and she recently told me she didn't understand then why I was having such a hard time with my two who are, let's say, a bit higher energy than hers. Then she had #3. Now she understands, she says.

You were lucky yours has been such an easy person to be around and take care of. New age, new challenges. As a pp suggested, try to get a little time away from her - on your own or with friends. And go easy on her and on yourself. Just because she is testing her limits doesn't mean you are a bad parent. Just a normal one.

And let us know when she cuts off all her hair when she's 4 and a half!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're still listening after all of the above hatred, I have a suggestion. At about 8 months, your child is becoming extremely curious about the world but still lacks mobility. This is what worked for me: Stuff a large canvas bag with odd things, not toys, that are safe for her to put into her mouth. I mean really weird things that you have around the house, like potato mashers, a jar with coins inside, a safe-plastic shoe insert. Keep them in the bag so she can't see them. When she starts to act up (she's bored), whip out an item and let her hold it, put it in her mouth, bounce it off her chair. Have at least 15-20 of these items in the bag, and change them out for different things every other day. Bring that bag everywhere that you take the baby. Be creative! This made my baby very happy and curious and . . . content.