my 8 month old is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

OP, I doubt very much that you're an abusive parent, or have issues w/ anger management, or shouldn't be a parent or whatever.

You sound like a first time parent experiencing the crazy fluctuations of the first couple of years. It's nuts! Babies have violent mood swings, periods of misery and periods of utter sunniness, anguish they can't articulate any way other than a scream, evolving awareness of a sense of "self" and capabilities that they test in any and every way possible, horrific growth spurts that must be insanely uncomfortable, constant change in their worlds, etc...

I figure it has to be a nightmare for them.

These are the things I tell myself when I lose my cool (which I definitely have done - even with infants). I've yelled. I've stormed off. I've been reduced to tears by how they treated me. Should I be above that? Of course. Do I know better intellectually? Of course. But I'm as human as they are and IT IS HARD! Be easy on yourself and your baby. You'll both have bumpy patches and she'll undergo such huge transformations over the next couple of years.

You WILL see your sunny, delightful baby again. You'll also see the demon!

Hang in there. You're not a bad parent, you're a normal new mommy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what exactly did you think it would be like to raise a child? She's not a baby doll, she's a HUMAN. You can't just turn her off when you're done playing.

Talk to your pediatrician to get some recommendations for early childhood development books. Seek out some parenting classes, and if need be, a good counselor/therapist so you can see past the end of your own nose and be the mother that your child deserves. Because your attitude is toxic and unrealistic, and if you don't adjust your expectations STAT you are going to look back and realize you screwed up some of the most important developmental years in your child's life. Getting angry and slamming objects at an 8 month old is not healthy behavior. Surely you know this already?

This, plus 1000. It's going to get much, much harder. You need to be prepared.

Development does go in cycles, but your infant is gone forever. Toddlers can be very, very challenging. 8 months is a cakewalk by comparison.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is easy to be a parent and love unconditionally an easy baby or child.

Your true test comes now. Stop slamming. You're not in control of anybody but yourself, so work on that.

And remember: docile does not equal happy, nor does well-behaved equal good. You're not doing a bad job when your daughter stops doing things exactly the way you want her to or is easiest for you. In fact, these moments provide an opportunity for you to be a truly GOOD parent: patient, loving, fair, realistic.

+1

Even at this age, babies have likes and dislikes and wants, in addition to needs. You should always respond to needs, but it's okay to let her complain if you can't satisfy her wants right away--to wait a moment to pick her up if you're in the middle of a chore, or respond by talking to her rather than picking her up. As long as she's safe, dry, and fed, it's okay to make her wait. It's okay to tell her no. This is your chance to practice setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them firmly but kindly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I doubt very much that you're an abusive parent, or have issues w/ anger management, or shouldn't be a parent or whatever.

You sound like a first time parent experiencing the crazy fluctuations of the first couple of years. It's nuts! Babies have violent mood swings, periods of misery and periods of utter sunniness, anguish they can't articulate any way other than a scream, evolving awareness of a sense of "self" and capabilities that they test in any and every way possible, horrific growth spurts that must be insanely uncomfortable, constant change in their worlds, etc...

I figure it has to be a nightmare for them.

These are the things I tell myself when I lose my cool (which I definitely have done - even with infants). I've yelled. I've stormed off. I've been reduced to tears by how they treated me. Should I be above that? Of course. Do I know better intellectually? Of course. But I'm as human as they are and IT IS HARD! Be easy on yourself and your baby. You'll both have bumpy patches and she'll undergo such huge transformations over the next couple of years.

You WILL see your sunny, delightful baby again. You'll also see the demon!

Hang in there. You're not a bad parent, you're a normal new mommy.

Thank you. I was just wondering if this was a Thing. You hear lots of people who are exasperated and losing it with their newborns and I never went through that. It seems like there have been a few other threads about 8 month olds recently so hopefully it is normal and temporary. We are definitely not in fire station territory.

[Anonymous]

The phases come and go. I have a five year old and we go through periods where everything goes very smoothly - then there are a few weeks of challenging behavior. It will get better again.

[Anonymous]

who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

I call troll.

[Anonymous]

laughed my arse off at the thread title, OP. my DD has been kind of an asshole since week 2. hang in there, it gets better. and worse. and better again. and way worse. and amazing. and . . . you get the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Could have read "my 8 month old is an 8 month old." Same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Lighten up, PP. Get off the internets and retreat to your fainting couch.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are way too sensitive to bad language. Curse words are just words, folks. Calm down. OP is clearly just a bit frustrated and using WORDS to get out frustration is healthy, especially in an on line anonymous post.

It is okay OP. sound like a good mom who needs to let off a little steam. Writing here is an excellent way to do that and ignor the " holier than thou" types. ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who in the world are you, OP? Writing a subject line describing an infant as an asshole.
Unbelievable.

Oh, please. She's not the first to jokingly call her baby an asshole. At least she has a sense of humor, which seems to be sorely lacking in many of the responses.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to get tone across on the Internet-- the asshole thing was clearly a joke, but it was not clear to me in OP's initial posting that she has a sense of humor about it and was likely even exaggerating her impatience with the situation-- in follow-ups, it seems that's what's going on, and thus, OP, you should know: preschoolers are biggest assholes, and if you really want to turn your kid into an asshole, try to give her a baby sibling when she's 2 or 3 years old. That'll make her seem like a sociopath and a total monster.

[Anonymous]

OP-

You are in for a long, long, long, long road if you think an 8 month old can act like an asshole. This implies you think your DD is doing these things purposely to bother you. It's a weird way to view a baby.

Definitely read some child development books and talk to your pediatrician. Toddlers and 2 yos are little walking, 100% selfish terrors (as they should be). And I worry how you will take out your frustrations on your DD during that much more difficult stage.

[Anonymous]

....it will pass. Babies change in phases: 3 months, 5 months, 7 months...it depends on baby. When you notice the change/frustration...you need to adjust. Re-evaluare routine, toys, naps, foods...etc. Keeps you on your toes It might be time for some more challenging toys, pack up some of the baby baby stuff. I think rotating toys is good too! Babies get bored. You and baby , find something special for the 2 of you...in your routine. Read a book every night...something simple. A time to readjust...and just love that baby I know it gets tough...remember you dont love some of the babies behavior but you love your baby Goodluck!