Are private school parents really as awful as they seem on this forum?

[Anonymous]

Uh, what? I am the PP you seem to be replying to. I don't know you. You really need to have a conversation in real life with the person you feel has wronged you--you may feel better. I wish I could help you out, maybe you even are joking around? Please tell me you are kidding...

[Anonymous]

QED....

[Anonymous]

Private school parents are nicer.

[Anonymous]

Okay, QED. I had to look that up! I guess in your fictional version of me, i am familiar with Latin phrases. I am curious, does that conclusion give you any closure? It would be so unsatisfying to me. In all seriousness, this is what I have learned in life, and in my job. What do I do, by the way? I am hoping it pays more than my actual job (self-employed at the moment.)
Much of the time you think someone is angry with you, they aren't thinking about you at all.
If you are angry with someone else, they probably do know it, but they may not know why.
When you share your thoughts with the other person, you often feel better, because either a.) you find out they do not in fact have an issue with you or b.) they are genuinely sorry they offended you.
It takes off a burden. This secret anger you are carrying with you, and unloading on a perfect stranger, is not good for you. Venting on an anonymous board won't bring you closure. Tell him or her how you feel, but maybe write down your thoughts first. If you are too raw, they might dismiss you as over the top.

[Anonymous]

And now, back to our regularly-scheduled programming . . .

OP, our kids went to public for ES, then switched to private for MS and HS (the 2 oldest are now in college and youngest in HS). DH and I went to public schools ourselves, but my 2 youngest sibs went to boarding school, so we didn't go into this thinking that there was a line in the sand that distinguishes public school families from private school families. Perhaps as a result of that mindset, we have found that while public school parents are generally somewhat more chill and down-to-earth, there are plenty of private school folks just like that. In fact, I'd say that the majority of parents at our kids' private school are indistinguishable from the parents we got to know when our kids attended a close-in, high SES MoCo school.

That said, when you're paying $30K+ in yearly tuition, you're going to feel -- I hesitate to use this word, but it seems apt -- entitled. This fosters much of the PITA-parent-craziness you often see in private schools. OTOH, I sometimes think that private school parents are pretty meek compared to MCPS parents. Private school parents tend to be fearful of pissing off the HOS and division heads, so they will often just grouse among themselves or complain to a teacher, but will not go to the administration, even where there is a systemic problem, rather than an issue that involves an individual teacher only. The MCPS parents I know are pretty feisty in comparison.

Bottom line: as other PPs have noted you will find people in private who are sane and you will find people in public who are crazed. Just hang with the former and avoid the latter -- believe me, they are easy to spot.

[Anonymous]

I think it's rather odd that you think all the private school parents on DCUM are awful, but yet you ask these same awful people if private school parents are awful? Doesn't make much sense.

If you are truly interested in private school, go to the schools and meet actual parents who send their children there, instead of wildly generalizing from an anonymous message board.

[Anonymous]

I only think the parents are other big three schools are horrible bitches. But I still want to do their hot husbands. I've tied myself up with a purple scarf and I'll be lying on the sidewalk next to the car pool line.

[Anonymous]

Maybe QED does apply in this instance but, it doesn't. It seems too coincidental specific conversations and personal information has been used over the year in an effort discredit my posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only think the parents are other big three schools are horrible bitches. But I still want to do their hot husbands. I've tied myself up with a purple scarf and I'll be lying on the sidewalk next to the car pool line.[/quote

Geeze, I hope you're my wife! If so, I know _exactly_ what to bring you! Starbucks w/ a little milk! Oh yea, that's going to seal the deal!

Actually, I think the issues are that
1) most people here aren't professional internet geeks, so they rise to flame bait.
(I sent my first email in '78 so I'd guess that makes me an old hand)
2) everyone is on edge (as many other posters have observed)
3) you are watching people from a variety of backgrounds mix.

For instance, I can't imagine not knowing what QED means,
but my wife, who went to Smith and is by any measure
very successful and smart, probably would never have heard
the phrase before marrying me since she's polysci and Latin
wasn't her liturgical language.

Here's is a good quote for all of _Us_!
quae fuit durum pati, meminisse dulce est



Excelsior!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, QED. I had to look that up! I guess in your fictional version of me, i am familiar with Latin phrases. I am curious, does that conclusion give you any closure? It would be so unsatisfying to me. In all seriousness, this is what I have learned in life, and in my job. What do I do, by the way? I am hoping it pays more than my actual job (self-employed at the moment.)
Much of the time you think someone is angry with you, they aren't thinking about you at all.
If you are angry with someone else, they probably do know it, but they may not know why.
When you share your thoughts with the other person, you often feel better, because either a.) you find out they do not in fact have an issue with you or b.) they are genuinely sorry they offended you.
It takes off a burden. This secret anger you are carrying with you, and unloading on a perfect stranger, is not good for you. Venting on an anonymous board won't bring you closure. Tell him or her how you feel, but maybe write down your thoughts first. If you are too raw, they might dismiss you as over the top.

I am 13:21 You are so sweet, PP. I didn't write the QED comment but, I really appreciate your kind reply. Sorry I falsely accused you. There is nothing to gain by me or DC confronting a back-stabber face-to-face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school parents are nicer.

LOL. I don't know what's funnier. This PP's idea that richer parents are "nicer." Or the idea that unsupported BS like this (it's not obvious the PP has ever sent kids to public school) typifies private school "niceness" from a "nicer" private school parent.

QED.

[Anonymous]

I am laughing at my own ignorance for not knowing what QED meant -- must be because I went to public school .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school parents are nicer.

Private school parents have no sense of irony. At least the ones posting mean things about how they are nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only think the parents are other big three schools are horrible bitches. But I still want to do their hot husbands. I've tied myself up with a purple scarf and I'll be lying on the sidewalk next to the car pool line.[/quote

Geeze, I hope you're my wife! If so, I know _exactly_ what to bring you! Starbucks w/ a little milk! Oh yea, that's going to seal the deal!

Actually, I think the issues are that
1) most people here aren't professional internet geeks, so they rise to flame bait.
(I sent my first email in '78 so I'd guess that makes me an old hand)
2) everyone is on edge (as many other posters have observed)
3) you are watching people from a variety of backgrounds mix.

For instance, I can't imagine not knowing what QED means,
but my wife, who went to Smith and is by any measure
very successful and smart, probably would never have heard
the phrase before marrying me since she's polysci and Latin
wasn't her liturgical language.

Here's is a good quote for all of _Us_!
quae fuit durum pati, meminisse dulce est



Excelsior!

OK, now I have to say it: I'm the QED poster, and I went to Smith! Really! I majored in liberal artsy subjects. But I think I learned QED in high school geometry, also I took a few years of Latin along the way. I can see how someone with a different sort of geometry teacher might have missed out on this, however.

Anyway, the QED wasn't directed at the serious poster, it was more directed at the posters calling public school parents "horrid."

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, I don't think that public school parents are nicer or less horrible or that private school parents are better or worse based on DCUM. Frankly, as mom to a 12 month old with no skin in either game yet, both sets of parents seem equally terrifying to me. I read both the private school forum and the VA public school forum with equal worry that I'm not up for the trip to Crazytown. But, I also know it isn't real. You'll likely get an equal cross section of people in both, and gravitate toward those most like you. I wouldn't let an anonymous forum be the deciding factor, or even A deciding factor. Get out and meet some people and form an opinion from there. That's what I plan to do.