Are private school parents really as awful as they seem on this forum?
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Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
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No and yes.
Listen, the parents that populate the private schools are just like almost everyone else I know. Accomplished, well educated, and successful. Gaining entry to a Big 3 private school then separates some parents from the masses whose kids either did not make the cut based on a crapshoot of an admissions process, or who chose public school. Somehow, this imbues such parents with a sense of entitlement and superiority, and they start believing in all the hype. So no, these private school parents are not inherently awful. Or at least they didn't start out that way. But like any new It girl in Hollywood, if they start believing all the hype, they can quickly become insufferable. |
Anonymous
| ...heavy breathing....We have you now young Skywalker |
Anonymous
| My kids have done public in a high SES neighborhood and private. The parents are more or less the same when comparing those two groups. Lots of highy educated, motivated people who want their kids to get a good education. Some amazing, nice, warm people in both groups, and some irritating ones in both groups. The worst offenders are generally those who use their jobs/high-level positions to define themselves. But, some of my favorites also have been those who could be arrogant based on their success but are actually down-to-earth. I think that what also brings out the worst in parents is the sense that their kids are in competition with their classmates. Based on my observations and the comments on this board, I would imagine relations among parents might be worst at the so-called feeder preschools, where parents are concerned about exmissions. The public equivalent would be in third grade when a large group might be competing for GT spots. I have met only one parent in real life who I could imagine posting nasty, inflammatory things here. And this person is such an obvious caricature that no one really pays any attention to her rants. People really want to have friendly relationships with parents in their community, even if they are not confidants or best buddies. By this point in life, you probably have good friends. Keep those, but be open to new friendships. Take them as they come. Good luck with the decision. |
Anonymous
| I'l never turn to the dark side! |
Anonymous
| My experience, private school moms are nothing like what is posted here. I do not think the posters are real pivate school mothers. |
Anonymous
| I have two kids in public and one in private. I don't see any difference between the parents. Everyone wants what's best for their kids. I will say one thing though. I am impressed with the sacrifices that many of my private school parents make to keep their children in private school. |
Anonymous
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We started at private, hated it largely because of the projection of entitlement and superiority from parents and admins, and moved to public. Public has been better in literally every single respect, period.
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Anonymous
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They are not as bad in person because if they tried some of the garbage posted on DCUM in face to face, I guarantee a verbal beat down, no holds barred.
While most parents are pretty decent, you read a lot of DCUM bs because it's anonymous. Not wholly reflective of the private school community but some pains do exist. |
Anonymous
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I have had kids in public and private schools. The parent groups seemed similarly competitive, but acted this out in different ways. The private K-6 school was where I saw a mom go the administration to complain about two innocent kids that she probably saw as rivals for her own (bully) DD for the Big-3 slot next year (apparently, the school administrator laughed to other parents about the mom's chutzpah). There's less reason for this sort of idiocy in public schools, because the magnets are by testing in. There is, however, definitely scope for bullying the public school teacher into letting your kid into advanced math in order to increase DC's chances for the magnet.
The conspicuous, attention-getting purchases at the school auction don't happen at the public schools, if there even is an auction. In the public schools, the competitive parents are the ones lobbying the teachers to put DC into higher reading groups. In public schools, the competitive parents are also the ones trying to figure out whether your kids are applying to magnets against their kids, and badgering your kids for their SAT scores and where they're applying to college. |
Anonymous
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No, they are not. But as in any community, you'll find parents you like and want to get to know and spend time with, others that are nice and you know as an aquaintance and some that throw up a red flag and you procced with caution and finally those that you would find to be just awful and don't like. You will find that in public too...and on sports teams...everywhere
I think different schools do have different cultures though, so if that is important to you, look for a school with a friendly community feel. Our school definitely has that, it is welcoming and warm. On the spectrum above, I'd say only 5% are in the 'red flag' or 'just awful' category. And even with them, I could have a friendly chat if needed just because that's the culture....we would both make the effort. ( of course they don't know I find them to be in those categories...so there is no ill will there) As for DCUM, try to ignore the 'noise' of the rude or selfish posters. I find it appalling at times. |
Anonymous
I'd say the the most important thing about admissions from both sides should be 'best fit' so if you are looking for a good school with community and you genuinely care about community - that will be apparent in interviews and you are likely to get admission. Sure, this isn't always true with the academic competition around - our child did not get into a great school where we loved the community - but we applied to several schools with great communities and ended up at one...happy. |
Anonymous
| Many teachers and administrators post on these forums...js. |
Anonymous
If you are referring to PP - I am a parent 
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