Did your parents ever Throw out your toys or things as a consequence?

[Anonymous]

My mother did. Bi-polar abusive whack job. Talk about ways to fuck up your kids.

[Anonymous]

I once bagged up all the toys my kids had spread out, after I told them to pick them up three times. I did not throw them away and would never throw away a beloved item. Eventually my kids got them back. I don't see this as cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my car away to a needy member of our church. I was 18 and had gotten it as a HS graduation gift. I was at the top of my class and was a straight arrow kid. We were really poor ourselves and I needed the car to get to eork to help pay for school.

It hurt me profoundly that he valued a f-ed up adult more than his child. I walked to work each day, so it was okay, but I still have emotional pain when I think about.

This story and the cowboy boots story just break my heart.

My cousin KICKED HIS MOTHER IN THE STOMACH with those boots and you think it's sad they got thrown away? He got what was coming!

Meh. She could have taken them away for a week or so. Throwing them away is over the top.

[Anonymous]

I once vacuumed up dozens or maybe a ~100 Legos after warning them to pick them up from the floor. We have 10's of thousands of Legos so this isn't very dramatic, but it still made an impact.

[Anonymous]

Came home at age 17 to ALL of my belongings in garbage bags in the alley (here in Washington). My mom was mad because my room wasn't cleaned up. Honestly, it wasn't horrible -- no food or trash, just some clothes on floor, probably some books. She also gave away our cats one day without giving us the chance to say goodbye.

That said, I used to give toys a time out when my kids were little. Would never throw them away.

[Anonymous]

Taking a particular toy away as a time out is completely different from throwing things away, especially beloved items and with no warning or explanation. I am one of the PPs with abusive parents, and one of the biggest lessons I learned from them is that almost every action you take in anger is the wrong one. There were times when we were told to fill a box with toys to go to the Salvation Army because we had too many, but by our own choice. When a child truly has too many toys, it's easy to fill a box or bag with ones you don't like, don't need, or never play with.

I have a 3yo now and toys definitely go into time out, mostly for throwing. They remain in sight and my son knows that when he's able to calmly ask for them and state that he is able to play with them properly he will get them back with another chance. If he does it twice in one day, they are off-limits for the rest of the day. These aren't traumatic incidents for him because I don't march in, rip something out of his hands, and tell him he's never going to see something beloved again because he's ticking me off. It's just part of the house rules and framework, which is how every consequence should flow (in my opinion).