Did your parents ever Throw out your toys or things as a consequence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my car away to a needy member of our church. I was 18 and had gotten it as a HS graduation gift. I was at the top of my class and was a straight arrow kid. We were really poor ourselves and I needed the car to get to eork to help pay for school.

It hurt me profoundly that he valued a f-ed up adult more than his child. I walked to work each day, so it was okay, but I still have emotional pain when I think about.

This story and the cowboy boots story just break my heart.

[Anonymous]

I have collected all toys that were not cleaned up (after many warnings) and put them in a trash bag. After a week DD gets to put the things back away in her room with the understanding that the next time that bag of things (usually clothes and stuff) will be given to charity. We've not gotten to that point-- but rest assured I would. There are only so many times I can say clean your room!

[Anonymous]

I was told and taught that I had to clean up my toys before going to bed, or they would be given away. Well, after one particularly hideous snit fit of mine, refusing to put away the toys, they were gathered up from the floor, put in a bag and, yup, we dropped them off at a donation site.

It wasn't as traumatic as it might seem, actually. My parents were matter of fact, explained everything, weren't harsh or excessively punitive... but I did go with them and, yes, it made an impact.

I was a bit older (maybe 8 or 9?) and kind of in a bitchy phase, I think. I deserved it. And I knew I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my car away to a needy member of our church. I was 18 and had gotten it as a HS graduation gift. I was at the top of my class and was a straight arrow kid. We were really poor ourselves and I needed the car to get to eork to help pay for school.

It hurt me profoundly that he valued a f-ed up adult more than his child. I walked to work each day, so it was okay, but I still have emotional pain when I think about.

This story and the cowboy boots story just break my heart.

My cousin KICKED HIS MOTHER IN THE STOMACH with those boots and you think it's sad they got thrown away? He got what was coming!

[Anonymous]

My dad threatened to make my memory game disappear if I didn't clean it up by the time he counted to ten. I didn't do it, so it "disappeared." At age 25, I found it in a closet at my grandma's.

He says he always felt guilty about it.

[Anonymous]

The cowboy boot story reminded me if another action by a cruel parent I know. Very very heartbreaking. Touched a chord.

Totally disproportionate to the offense - big deal her kid kicked her what would she do to my sons!

We wonder how kids grow up with such lack of empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad didn't just throw up kids' stuff, he also threw out things he knew my mother valued - just because he was angry and just because he could. Once, he even dumped my dog. I thought the dog had run away but a few months after he did it, he told me what he'd done (he was drunk and raging). He drove way out in the sticks and dumped her. I was crushed but the lesson I took out of it was that I couldn't become too attached to anything or show that anything mattered to me. It took me a very long time to work through the issues this lead to. I would never get rid of something my kids valued.

Yes. Takes a lifetime to get over lessons like that.

[Anonymous]

When I was 4 my father came into my room after I was asleep and took my lovie (a very flat pillow) away. I woke up when he pulled it out from under my head. He did this when my mother was out of town so that he wouldn't have to deal with her wrath. I have absolutely no memory of what I did to make him angry or decide to throw it away, but I never forgot that he did. I never told my mother what happened because she is pretty sensitive.

[Anonymous]

My parents aren't very trusting of medical science. Even though I had poor vision (-4.5 in elementary school, -8 now), they always thought I was 'too dependent' on my glasses. They made me take off my glasses if I wasn't doing something distance-related. I would ask to wear them all the time (I mean, who does that as a kid unless they are blind?!). So one day, because I was apparently wearing them too much, my mom just threw them in the trash. I had to create a peephole magnifying glass with my hand, since I couldn't see, to fish them out of the trash. She wouldn't help me get them.

They had some issues, but they weren't abusive...although I realize this post makes it seem that way. They just had NO clue whatsoever. I reminded my mom about it a few months ago, and she cried for quite a while. Well, glad she feels bad now, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cowboy boot story reminded me if another action by a cruel parent I know. Very very heartbreaking. Touched a chord.

Totally disproportionate to the offense - big deal her kid kicked her what would she do to my sons!

We wonder how kids grow up with such lack of empathy.

No, kids today grow up to be whiny entitled wusses evaluate their moms let them kick them with no consequences. Oh, maybe a time out. If a kid loves a rock and uses a rock to bash in a car window, he should be allowed to keep it? Kids today have far too few actual consequences for bad behavior and frankly if your sons are routinely kicking you or worse, I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

I sent the link to this thread to DH. He grew up in a *very* hostile home that did this as a matter of fact, especially his brother and mother. I would bet DH nor his family would get it, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom would throw my brothers' things out of their window. It was so embarrassing. My mom is a little unhinged.

Yeah, my stepmom did this once to her two sons. They still all talk about it proudly -- something about it being character building? No thanks, that's just mean and I never did that to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cowboy boot story reminded me if another action by a cruel parent I know. Very very heartbreaking. Touched a chord.

Totally disproportionate to the offense - big deal her kid kicked her what would she do to my sons!

We wonder how kids grow up with such lack of empathy.

No, kids today grow up to be whiny entitled wusses evaluate their moms let them kick them with no consequences. Oh, maybe a time out. If a kid loves a rock and uses a rock to bash in a car window, he should be allowed to keep it? Kids today have far too few actual consequences for bad behavior and frankly if your sons are routinely kicking you or worse, I feel sorry for you.

I can tell by your post you feel defensive. A rock is different from a pair of special boots a kid loves and sleeps with, and smashing windows is different then a tired or hungry little child acting out to the one person he feels confortable enough to decompress in front of. These are children we are talking about. Kids usually save their worst behavior for their parents. A smack across the face would work better than throwing away a cherished item. It's also stupid and shortsighted because the kid still needs shoes for his feet.

Don't feel sorry for me, my kids are kind and popular and smart. But that's not the point here.

[Anonymous]

My dad sometimes threatened to shop vac all of the toys we left on the floor. He never actually did it, but did get the shop vac out a few times. My brother and I would scream and quickly pick everything up. Kinda funny looking back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my car away to a needy member of our church. I was 18 and had gotten it as a HS graduation gift. I was at the top of my class and was a straight arrow kid. We were really poor ourselves and I needed the car to get to eork to help pay for school.

It hurt me profoundly that he valued a f-ed up adult more than his child. I walked to work each day, so it was okay, but I still have emotional pain when I think about.

This story and the cowboy boots story just break my heart.

My cousin KICKED HIS MOTHER IN THE STOMACH with those boots and you think it's sad they got thrown away? He got what was coming!

Yeah, I'm kinda with you. I mean, I don't know what I'd do or if I'd thow away the boots, but dear lord if my kid kicked me in the gut, I would likely lose my f'ing mind. The penalty would be pretty heavy.