Love the amenities in Bethesda, hate the people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People can be unfriendly.

What I do is go up and embrace people, and I don't let go. I keep on repeating "It's not your fault; let it go. It's not your fault; let it go".
Eventually they start to cry. You have now broken their barriers down and can start to build a good friendship.

I have forged a number of strong relationships this way.

what is this, i don't even. if you try to hug me to break down my barriers i will be, like, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK hate is a little strong. We have lived here three years and our neighbors are so unfriendly! Everyone is so busy/important. I have lived all over the world, so I am comfortable moving to a new place etc.

I love: the schools, the libraries, the pools, the parks, the metros, the commute to work, great shopping, access to nature, the safety/low crime.

But: I feel like I am bringing my kids up in a really unfriendly materialistic environment.

I know this is probably just life outside a major city. But the idea of staying here for 15 years really gets me down.

Anyone have advice? Should I just "bloom where I am planted" or try to make a change?

Lot's of good feedback here, but I live in the SE Washington Ghetto. We don't have pools, parks that are safe or libraries that are open more than about three hours per week. We don't go in them anyway, could get mugged or worse. Oh, and the schools are such that you all in Bethesda would not step foot on the grounds without fear for you lives. I'm so sorry that your kids are living in an unfriendly, materialistic environment. You chose it for them. Come live ghetto love and you won't whine so much.

You're wrong. SE DC has three of most beautiful libraries in the city. The DC library system has hired architects from as far away as London to redesign the libraries into showpiece community facilities. The goal is for every library in the city to be completely rebuilt. In SE they are open until 5:30 or 9PM depending on the day. And the parks are plenty safe. Schools in Upper NW like St. Albans play ice hockey and run in Fort Dupont Park in SE.

From London, wow!

PP, you're hilarious. And previous pp, Fort Dupont is in NE, I think, maybe I'm wrong.

[Anonymous]

I guess the OP needs to decide what is important to her, the amenities or the people you live near.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:VA is way more friendly than MD. As I put it, after living 10 years around Bethesda, and now 10 years in McLean, both places can cause frustration. In Bethesda, it will be that you cannot find a parking space, and when you finally do, a pinched and overly made-up woman of below natural BMI, thoroughly coiffed hair, and driving an obscenely expensive car will cut right in front of you to steal it, flipping you off if you complain. In McLean, you will see a parking space but won't be able to get to it because there is a person who looks way too old to still have a drivers license trying to slowly navigate a 1972 Cadillac in front of you. If you complain, they look at you in genuine surprise as they are on their own universe. I prefer the latter. It's a lot less rude. So I am a happy convert to VA from MD. This analogy carries over to everything ... including neighbors. VA is simply more polite.

Very funny! During the day, Virginia drivers really are polite It amazes me. The least polite drivers are in N Bethesda and Potomac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:VA is way more friendly than MD. As I put it, after living 10 years around Bethesda, and now 10 years in McLean, both places can cause frustration. In Bethesda, it will be that you cannot find a parking space, and when you finally do, a pinched and overly made-up woman of below natural BMI, thoroughly coiffed hair, and driving an obscenely expensive car will cut right in front of you to steal it, flipping you off if you complain. In McLean, you will see a parking space but won't be able to get to it because there is a person who looks way too old to still have a drivers license trying to slowly navigate a 1972 Cadillac in front of you. If you complain, they look at you in genuine surprise as they are on their own universe. I prefer the latter. It's a lot less rude. So I am a happy convert to VA from MD. This analogy carries over to everything ... including neighbors. VA is simply more polite.

Very funny! During the day, Virginia drivers really are polite It amazes me. The least polite drivers are in N Bethesda and Potomac.

All the rude drivers are originally from New York or foreign countries. Don't you know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I kind of 'get you' here. As a Jewish woman living in NoVa, well, I feel sometimes like a fish out of water, though I'm not really a JAP. It's more of a cultural thing. My daughter goes to school at a private in MD and I do feel more 'at home' there when I meet another Jewish person. There's just an "I know you" feeling to it.

I can guarantee you I am the only Jewish woman on my street here in VA.

Oh please, get over yourself. I was the only Prodestant in my neighborhood in Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess the OP needs to decide what is important to her, the amenities or the people you live near.

OP here.

Yes, this is the crux of it.

My husband urges me to look at the whole DC area as my new hometown, and not Bethesda. So maybe I just need to change my mindset and get over the idea that I will ever feel connected to my neighborhood. That or move to Silver Spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I'm Jewish and I don't see the term JAP as being anti-Semitic. And I agree with the pp: Bethesda reminds me of everything I hated about growing up on Long Island.

+100

[Anonymous]

I agree Bethesda has a Long Island/Jersey feel. This is why I never cared for it. People are very rude, have poor manners and are extremely full of themselves. Very flashy with their $ too which is disgusting to me. I'll take DC or VA any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree Bethesda has a Long Island/Jersey feel. This is why I never cared for it. People are very rude, have poor manners and are extremely full of themselves. Very flashy with their $ too which is disgusting to me. I'll take DC or VA any day.

Oh please. I've lived in Bethesda for 10 years and this is far from the truth in my hood. I'm from immigrant, blue-collar parents and grew up in a blue-collar, industrial midwest city. You would never guess in a million years that DH and I live in Bethesda if you met us and your impression of people in Bethesa is what you describe above. Such generalizations just cannot be taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the OP needs to decide what is important to her, the amenities or the people you live near.

OP here.

Yes, this is the crux of it.

My husband urges me to look at the whole DC area as my new hometown, and not Bethesda. So maybe I just need to change my mindset and get over the idea that I will ever feel connected to my neighborhood. That or move to Silver Spring.

After going to college with a lot of kids from Bethsada, and working in an industry that had me interact wth parents from all over the region-we made the decision that as far west in Montgomery County as we wanted to live was Takoma Park/Silver spring downtown near the metro. We feel so much more comfortable here. We have more money than our parents did, but we hope to raise our kid pretty down to earth. I didn't know if we could pull that off in (from the stats in te recent Takoma park thread) 85% white Bethesda. Luckily also for us, we couldn't afford Bethesda either. The schools are down (we aren't worried) and on our little block, we do have a beer/g&t on the porch culture. All within walking distance to downtown silver spring, and a carless commute for us. Also 3 libraries (Takoma, Takoma park, Ss) that I've visited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the OP needs to decide what is important to her, the amenities or the people you live near.

OP here.

Yes, this is the crux of it.

My husband urges me to look at the whole DC area as my new hometown, and not Bethesda. So maybe I just need to change my mindset and get over the idea that I will ever feel connected to my neighborhood. That or move to Silver Spring.

After going to college with a lot of kids from Bethsada, and working in an industry that had me interact wth parents from all over the region-we made the decision that as far west in Montgomery County as we wanted to live was Takoma Park/Silver spring downtown near the metro. We feel so much more comfortable here. We have more money than our parents did, but we hope to raise our kid pretty down to earth. I didn't know if we could pull that off in (from the stats in te recent Takoma park thread) 85% white Bethesda. Luckily also for us, we couldn't afford Bethesda either. The schools are down (we aren't worried) and on our little block, we do have a beer/g&t on the porch culture. All within walking distance to downtown silver spring, and a carless commute for us. Also 3 libraries (Takoma, Takoma park, Ss) that I've visited.

Forgive the typos - typed this on my phone while running around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK hate is a little strong. We have lived here three years and our neighbors are so unfriendly! Everyone is so busy/important. I have lived all over the world, so I am comfortable moving to a new place etc.

I love: the schools, the libraries, the pools, the parks, the metros, the commute to work, great shopping, access to nature, the safety/low crime.

But: I feel like I am bringing my kids up in a really unfriendly materialistic environment.

I know this is probably just life outside a major city. But the idea of staying here for 15 years really gets me down.

Anyone have advice? Should I just "bloom where I am planted" or try to make a change?

Lot's of good feedback here, but I live in the SE Washington Ghetto. We don't have pools, parks that are safe or libraries that are open more than about three hours per week. We don't go in them anyway, could get mugged or worse. Oh, and the schools are such that you all in Bethesda would not step foot on the grounds without fear for you lives. I'm so sorry that your kids are living in an unfriendly, materialistic environment. You chose it for them. Come live ghetto love and you won't whine so much.

You're wrong. SE DC has three of most beautiful libraries in the city. The DC library system has hired architects from as far away as London to redesign the libraries into showpiece community facilities. The goal is for every library in the city to be completely rebuilt. In SE they are open until 5:30 or 9PM depending on the day. And the parks are plenty safe. Schools in Upper NW like St. Albans play ice hockey and run in Fort Dupont Park in SE.

From London, wow!

PP, you're hilarious. And previous pp, Fort Dupont is in NE, I think, maybe I'm wrong.

Fort Dupont Park is off of Minnesota Ave in SE DC. These are two new libraries in SE. If only the suburbs had the vision.
http://www.designboom.com/architecture/adjaye-associates-two-libraries-for-washington-dc/

[Anonymous]

In 'The People, Yes,' poem 52, Carl Sandburg wrote

A sodbuster in Kansas leaned at the gatepost... Drove up a newcomer in a covered wagon:
'What kind of folks live around here?'
'Well, stranger, what kind of folks was there in the country you come from?'
'Well, they was mostly a lowdown, lying, thieving gossiping, backbiting kind lot of people.'
'Well, I guess, stranger, that's about the kind of folks you'll find around here.'

And the dusty gray stranger had just about blended into the dusty gray cottonwoods in a clump on the horizon when another newcomer drove up:
'What kind of folks live around here?'
'Well, stranger, what kind of folks was there in the country you come from?'
'Well, they was mostly a decent, hardworking, lawabiding, friendly lot of people.'
'Well, I guess, stranger, that's about the kind of folks you'll find around here.'"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
After going to college with a lot of kids from Bethsada, and working in an industry that had me interact wth parents from all over the region-we made the decision that as far west in Montgomery County as we wanted to live was Takoma Park/Silver spring downtown near the metro. We feel so much more comfortable here. We have more money than our parents did, but we hope to raise our kid pretty down to earth. I didn't know if we could pull that off in (from the stats in te recent Takoma park thread) 85% white Bethesda. Luckily also for us, we couldn't afford Bethesda either. The schools are down (we aren't worried) and on our little block, we do have a beer/g&t on the porch culture. All within walking distance to downtown silver spring, and a carless commute for us. Also 3 libraries (Takoma, Takoma park, Ss) that I've visited.

Sounds like you found your level.