Love the amenities in Bethesda, hate the people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK hate is a little strong. We have lived here three years and our neighbors are so unfriendly! Everyone is so busy/important. I have lived all over the world, so I am comfortable moving to a new place etc.

I love: the schools, the libraries, the pools, the parks, the metros, the commute to work, great shopping, access to nature, the safety/low crime.

But: I feel like I am bringing my kids up in a really unfriendly materialistic environment.

I know this is probably just life outside a major city. But the idea of staying here for 15 years really gets me down.

Anyone have advice? Should I just "bloom where I am planted" or try to make a change?

If that's how you talk about your neighbors after having lived there 3 years...do yourself (and your neighbors) a favor: go somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK hate is a little strong. We have lived here three years and our neighbors are so unfriendly! Everyone is so busy/important. I have lived all over the world, so I am comfortable moving to a new place etc.

I love: the schools, the libraries, the pools, the parks, the metros, the commute to work, great shopping, access to nature, the safety/low crime.

But: I feel like I am bringing my kids up in a really unfriendly materialistic environment.

I know this is probably just life outside a major city. But the idea of staying here for 15 years really gets me down.

Anyone have advice? Should I just "bloom where I am planted" or try to make a change?

Lot's of good feedback here, but I live in the SE Washington Ghetto. We don't have pools, parks that are safe or libraries that are open more than about three hours per week. We don't go in them anyway, could get mugged or worse. Oh, and the schools are such that you all in Bethesda would not step foot on the grounds without fear for you lives. I'm so sorry that your kids are living in an unfriendly, materialistic environment. You chose it for them. Come live ghetto love and you won't whine so much.

You're wrong. SE DC has three of most beautiful libraries in the city. The DC library system has hired architects from as far away as London to redesign the libraries into showpiece community facilities. The goal is for every library in the city to be completely rebuilt. In SE they are open until 5:30 or 9PM depending on the day. And the parks are plenty safe. Schools in Upper NW like St. Albans play ice hockey and run in Fort Dupont Park in SE.

From London, wow!

[Anonymous]

I guess it's all relative. I'm from northern NJ and Bethesda seems so much more comofortable to me than Virginia. Honestly, I just don't get NOVA at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

But you could see why a newcomer might feel out of sorts if she unknowingly picked a house in the middle of a never-ending JAP party

If you're honest, you'll agree you at least understand. It's not so different than unwittingly buying right in the heart of Holy Redeemer groupthink land in Chevy Chase View.

[Anonymous]

Bethesda is not a "small town" and is not meant to be Mayberry. The expectations some people have about what exactly neighborhood life in this areas should be like are so out of whack. It's obvious that this is not a rural, small town area and so no, no matter what area you go to that is close in, it's never going to mimic exactly any of the cutsey neighborhood sterotypes.

I grew up in this area in an outer burb of Fairfax County. Even back in the 70's and 80's, there was no Mayberry going on and no body hung out on their porch - and most of the houses actually did have porches! We knew our neighbors but not in the hang out with them every weekend kind of way. As a kid, I knew the other kids.

[Anonymous]

You're wrong. SE DC has three of most beautiful libraries in the city. The DC library system has hired architects from as far away as London to redesign the libraries into showpiece community facilities. The goal is for every library in the city to be completely rebuilt. In SE they are open until 5:30 or 9PM depending on the day. And the parks are plenty safe. Schools in Upper NW like St. Albans play ice hockey and run in Fort Dupont Park in SE.

From London, Wow!

LOL! I started the library thing and will tell you it makes no difference how pretty the surrondings are when you're getting mugged.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in this area in an outer burb of Fairfax County. Even back in the 70's and 80's, there was no Mayberry going on and no body hung out on their porch - and most of the houses actually did have porches! We knew our neighbors but not in the hang out with them every weekend kind of way. As a kid, I knew the other kids.

No argument intended, but the "front porch" concept was brought into this thread from another about the DC ghetto - we are now talking apples to pineapples....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK hate is a little strong. We have lived here three years and our neighbors are so unfriendly! Everyone is so busy/important. I have lived all over the world, so I am comfortable moving to a new place etc.

I love: the schools, the libraries, the pools, the parks, the metros, the commute to work, great shopping, access to nature, the safety/low crime.

But: I feel like I am bringing my kids up in a really unfriendly materialistic environment.

I know this is probably just life outside a major city. But the idea of staying here for 15 years really gets me down.

Anyone have advice? Should I just "bloom where I am planted" or try to make a change?

I've been here almost 30 years. I'd love to tell you it gets better (I'm in VA). While I've met some nice people, this area is the home of the "Let's Do Lunch" crowd. As long as you understand that, you'll be fine. People here like to skate on the surface. The closest friends I've met here have been men (I'm a woman), and I think that's because there's much less emotional BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I kind of 'get you' here. As a Jewish woman living in NoVa, well, I feel sometimes like a fish out of water, though I'm not really a JAP. It's more of a cultural thing. My daughter goes to school at a private in MD and I do feel more 'at home' there when I meet another Jewish person. There's just an "I know you" feeling to it.

I can guarantee you I am the only Jewish woman on my street here in VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in Bethesda and I agree, I love everything but my neighbors. I refer to them as the mean girls. I have absolutely no idea what we did to piss them off, but they are just mean. Luckily, I have found some super nice people in the neighborhood which has taken the focus off the mean girls and has helped me put those few sad people into perspective. It does take time to find the nice ones, but worth it!

You've done nothing. Get to know their husbands instead. I guarantee you, you'll enjoy their friendship more (and their wives are mean anyway, so, whatever).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I'm Jewish and I don't see the term JAP as being anti-Semitic. And I agree with the pp: Bethesda reminds me of everything I hated about growing up on Long Island.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in Bethesda and I agree, I love everything but my neighbors. I refer to them as the mean girls. I have absolutely no idea what we did to piss them off, but they are just mean. Luckily, I have found some super nice people in the neighborhood which has taken the focus off the mean girls and has helped me put those few sad people into perspective. It does take time to find the nice ones, but worth it!

You've done nothing. Get to know their husbands instead. I guarantee you, you'll enjoy their friendship more (and their wives are mean anyway, so, whatever).

It is funny you mentioned that - the husbands are all really nice, I just don't get it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I'm Jewish and I don't see the term JAP as being anti-Semitic. And I agree with the pp: Bethesda reminds me of everything I hated about growing up on Long Island.

In which neighborhoods in Bethesda are you living? I live near Glen Echo and have not found people here to be the way others have described. With regard to the term "JAP," the implication is that Jewish women living in Bethesda are loud-mouthed, materialistic, spoiled, and aggressive. The fact is that many women in Bethesda are not this and the majority of the women in Bethesda are not Jewish. There are plenty of rich, spoiled women in Bethesda who are not Jewish. To say that the women in Bethesda are "JAPs" is basically saying that Jewish women are the cause of all the negativity associated with living in Bethesda. This simply isn't true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bethesda is full of JAPs and women with too much plastic surgery. Both places have the same exact stores, but isn't filled with women in those horrible white-stitch jeans, heels and little dogs.

OK, this is just anti-semitic. There are lots of Jews in Bethesda (like me) and that's one of the things I like about it.

I'm Jewish and I don't see the term JAP as being anti-Semitic. And I agree with the pp: Bethesda reminds me of everything I hated about growing up on Long Island.

Like what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:VA is way more friendly than MD. As I put it, after living 10 years around Bethesda, and now 10 years in McLean, both places can cause frustration. In Bethesda, it will be that you cannot find a parking space, and when you finally do, a pinched and overly made-up woman of below natural BMI, thoroughly coiffed hair, and driving an obscenely expensive car will cut right in front of you to steal it, flipping you off if you complain. In McLean, you will see a parking space but won't be able to get to it because there is a person who looks way too old to still have a drivers license trying to slowly navigate a 1972 Cadillac in front of you. If you complain, they look at you in genuine surprise as they are on their own universe. I prefer the latter. It's a lot less rude. So I am a happy convert to VA from MD. This analogy carries over to everything ... including neighbors. VA is simply more polite.

I go to downtown Bethesda almost daily and have never had a parking space stolen. Also, most of these thin, coiffed women are quite nice if you give them a chance.

OP- if you want a more family friendly area, move to Chevy Chase (either DC or MD). You'll have all the amenities of Bethesda, but will probably have more in common with your neighbors.