Yes I did marry my husband for money.

[Anonymous]

Jane Eyre!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in LA and plan to marry for money as well. That's just what we do here. It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor one.

Gosh, in DC I was raised to *become* a rich woman all by my lonesome.

[Anonymous]

in theory I'm opposed to this, but if you actually like your husband and enjoy spending time with him, I'm actually not that bothered by it. Money shouldn't be the only consideration when picking a spouse, but it certainly makes as much sense as choosing based on lust.

You could always say, "I didn't marry him for money, but it certainly didn't hurt his cause that he's rich."

[Anonymous]

OP, are you hot?

[Anonymous]

I always wanted to be a person who married a rich dude. I've dated a few guys who had a lot of $, but I just did not seem to relate to well to them. I remember one guy telling me that I had more life experience in my pinky finger than he had in his whole body. We were in law school - he was loaded and got to spend everyday thinking about the next good time. I spent my time working and trying to figure out how I was going to finance the next semester. Whatchya gonna do? I'd also have a hard time being an accessory wife. Mostly because I'm not good at that kind of thing. I'm attractive, but I'm not the perfect wife/mother type of person. I know those chicks though. I commend them for always looking like a million bucks and keeping a beautiful home and beautiful children.

Luckily, my DH and I are comfortable money wise, so all is well. But, we are not even remotely wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married for love. But I don't think I could have fallen in love with a completely poor man or with a rich one either. I grew up very, very poor. Yet I managed to get myself into a good career and have a nice life. By 1% standards I'm middle class. By the standards of my native community I'm a 1%er. Although I socialize with the well-off, I secretly think less of people who aren't self-made. Similarly, when I see people from the old neighborhood who have no ambition and just accept their lot in life - well, I think less of them too. I guess I just can't respect anyone who was born on third and thinks he hit a triple; and neither can I respect someone who takes no for an answer and then blames everyone else in society for his lot in life. I could not love a man I didn't respect.

So I fell in love with and married a man who is just like me. Self-made. Not super well-off but we live in a way that a lot of people on here and from my neighborhood would call privileged. Although I'm not a fan of inherited wealth, I certainly would never cast aspersions on anyone for not yoking themselves to a poor man either. It's one thing to be poor when you are 20 and can work. Quite another to be that way when you are 50 and can't. Since your spouse can either double or half your income and that effect lasts all your life, it makes sense to love wisely.

What does this mean? You're not a 'fan' of anyone who inherited money? Even if they work hard despite that?

[Anonymous]

Big deal. Your business, not mine.

Lots of women marry unfit men only because the women are love chumps. I judge that way more harshly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married for love. But I don't think I could have fallen in love with a completely poor man or with a rich one either. I grew up very, very poor. Yet I managed to get myself into a good career and have a nice life. By 1% standards I'm middle class. By the standards of my native community I'm a 1%er. Although I socialize with the well-off, I secretly think less of people who aren't self-made. Similarly, when I see people from the old neighborhood who have no ambition and just accept their lot in life - well, I think less of them too. I guess I just can't respect anyone who was born on third and thinks he hit a triple; and neither can I respect someone who takes no for an answer and then blames everyone else in society for his lot in life. I could not love a man I didn't respect.

So I fell in love with and married a man who is just like me. Self-made. Not super well-off but we live in a way that a lot of people on here and from my neighborhood would call privileged. Although I'm not a fan of inherited wealth, I certainly would never cast aspersions on anyone for not yoking themselves to a poor man either. It's one thing to be poor when you are 20 and can work. Quite another to be that way when you are 50 and can't. Since your spouse can either double or half your income and that effect lasts all your life, it makes sense to love wisely.

What does this mean? You're not a 'fan' of anyone who inherited money? Even if they work hard despite that?

No. In that case it doesn't bother me. But I generally think that people who have things handed to them end up in the "special snowflake" category and they aren't particularly resilient.

As for the pp who asked about my kids, they have been doing chores for money since they were 5-6 and when they get old enough to get a work permit, they will begin working part-time. They will also go to help with the harvest when they are a little bigger (DH's parents are subsistence farmers in another country). I doubt there will be money when we die since we anticipate having to help pay the retirement costs of several other family members in addition to us. Our kids may have to pay their own way but we don't want them to be burdened with having to pay for the older generation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could say a lot of things, but honestly, I just feel sad for you. Yes, money is nice.. but if you married for that alone, you're missing out on a lot. I would much rather be poor and in love than rich and without.

Romantic lies from a foolish woman. Who has time for love when you are working 2 jobs and still scraping by? What you would be is constantly arguing or depressed, not oooolala I am so happy I found you.

Honey, we've been there. We've had NO money. We've been where we're both working our fingers to the bone and still see red in our bank account. We're much better off now. We've never been unhappy together, and yes, I was always happy I found him. There was never constant arguing, there was no depression. There was doing the best we could with, and being thankful for what we had, and knowing that things would get better eventually.

What are you going to do if your husband doesn't have his money anymore? Because it happens. Are you going to constantly argue and be depressed if you can't get a manicure or have to fire your cleaning lady? Are you going to leave him for a man who can provide you with those things? Sad.

Nice post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could say a lot of things, but honestly, I just feel sad for you. Yes, money is nice.. but if you married for that alone, you're missing out on a lot. I would much rather be poor and in love than rich and without.

Romantic lies from a foolish woman. Who has time for love when you are working 2 jobs and still scraping by? What you would be is constantly arguing or depressed, not oooolala I am so happy I found you.

Honey, we've been there. We've had NO money. We've been where we're both working our fingers to the bone and still see red in our bank account. We're much better off now. We've never been unhappy together, and yes, I was always happy I found him. There was never constant arguing, there was no depression. There was doing the best we could with, and being thankful for what we had, and knowing that things would get better eventually.

What are you going to do if your husband doesn't have his money anymore? Because it happens. Are you going to constantly argue and be depressed if you can't get a manicure or have to fire your cleaning lady? Are you going to leave him for a man who can provide you with those things? Sad.

The reality is that the recession created a lot of situations where men who were loaded lost a lot and had jets, luxury cars, and homes repossesed. In fact there are companies that specialize in seizing the assets of the rich. As they say, death, debt, and divorce can take the savings from anyone.

Nice post.

[Anonymous]

Haha, poor OP.

I married for love. Met my DH when we were in our early 20s and poor. Then the 1990s came and he worked for UUNet that went IPO, he then moved to a private company that got bought out by Cisco, more $$$.

I have smokin hot DH who is young and rich and I love him!

[Anonymous]

Working hard with inherited wealth is a little like walking a tight rope but with a net under you. You can avoid shitty jobs and apply your effort to risky but potentially profitable ventures because you have options.

Working hard with inherited wealth isn't bad, but it doesn't build the same kind of character as working hard because you have no other choices and you've made peace with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:``My dearest sister, now be serious. I want to talk very seriously. Let me know every thing that I am to know, without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved him?''

``It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley.''

You do know that Eliza was joking, right?

[Anonymous]

Whatever works for you. You both sound kind of shallow, but perhaps you are a good fit in that sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in LA and plan to marry for money as well. That's just what we do here. It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor one.

Gosh, in DC I was raised to *become* a rich woman all by my lonesome.

+ infinity!!! And it's just as easy for him to dump you for a hotter and younger trophy once you just aren't that cute anymore. Meanwhile, my younger, hotter pool boy will be feeding me grapes and lines about how my ass is still great, while you train wreck into the hot mess you are destined to become.

Ok, that was the catty response. But seriously, dont you want more out of this one life than some dude's money?!?