Need advice - Is this bullying at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

It is scary that there are so many people think that this behavior is normal. I would have stepped in and stopped those rude kids from pushing/shoving others if I saw it and even if they were not doing it to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Something is seriously wrong with people who wrote these comments:

"They aren't pushing her into the street in front of on-coming cars here".
"Serious would be a sixth grader holding a BB gun to the 4th grader's head, or waving around a broken bottle threatening to cut them."
"Bullying should be reserved for the shit that makes kids go home and kill themselves"

These kids are 6th graders and if you don't interfere NOW, who knows that they wouldn't do these things by the time they are in highschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something is seriously wrong with people who wrote these comments:

"They aren't pushing her into the street in front of on-coming cars here".
"Serious would be a sixth grader holding a BB gun to the 4th grader's head, or waving around a broken bottle threatening to cut them."
"Bullying should be reserved for the shit that makes kids go home and kill themselves"

These kids are 6th graders and if you don't interfere NOW, who knows that they wouldn't do these things by the time they are in highschool.

I'm that poster. I have kids from college to elementary school and I didn't interfere with stuff like this and it didn't blow up into major problems in high school. A sixth grader exerting some authority and testing their power over a younger kid is normal and doesn't automatically turn into something bigger. I grew up in NYC, where the things I described that you quoted did happen. Just because I don't raise my kids by escorting them to the bus stop and rushing in any time a kid is mean to them doesn't mean I am a person raising children to bully other people's children. That leap lacks logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm that poster. I have kids from college to elementary school and I didn't interfere with stuff like this and it didn't blow up into major problems in high school. A sixth grader exerting some authority and testing their power over a younger kid is normal and doesn't automatically turn into something bigger. I grew up in NYC, where the things I described that you quoted did happen. Just because I don't raise my kids by escorting them to the bus stop and rushing in any time a kid is mean to them doesn't mean I am a person raising children to bully other people's children. That leap lacks logic.

Good for you that your kids did not turn into bullies (although if they do, I doubt that you would admit it). But those kids that do, it doesn't happen overnight. They don't just wake up one morning and decide to push someone across the street or decide to make other people's life so miserable that they have to kill themselves. Did you read that OP said she did tell her daughter to ignore it at first? It is only until it came to pushing/shoving that she made it a big deal. Cutting in line is rude but rather normal, but pushing/shoving is definitely NOT. Period.
I am a parent of a 5th grader who walk with her everyday to the bus stop. Others can say that I am overprotect but the fact is, I don't see her again until 7PM and then we only have a couple of hours before she heads to bed so I treasure every minutes that I get to spend with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is seriously wrong with people who wrote these comments:

"They aren't pushing her into the street in front of on-coming cars here".
"Serious would be a sixth grader holding a BB gun to the 4th grader's head, or waving around a broken bottle threatening to cut them."
"Bullying should be reserved for the shit that makes kids go home and kill themselves"

These kids are 6th graders and if you don't interfere NOW, who knows that they wouldn't do these things by the time they are in highschool.

I'm that poster. I have kids from college to elementary school and I didn't interfere with stuff like this and it didn't blow up into major problems in high school. A sixth grader exerting some authority and testing their power over a younger kid is normal and doesn't automatically turn into something bigger. I grew up in NYC, where the things I described that you quoted did happen. Just because I don't raise my kids by escorting them to the bus stop and rushing in any time a kid is mean to them doesn't mean I am a person raising children to bully other people's children. That leap lacks logic.

Would you want to know if your 6th grader was behaving this way? What would you do if you were informed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is seriously wrong with people who wrote these comments:

"They aren't pushing her into the street in front of on-coming cars here".
"Serious would be a sixth grader holding a BB gun to the 4th grader's head, or waving around a broken bottle threatening to cut them."
"Bullying should be reserved for the shit that makes kids go home and kill themselves"

These kids are 6th graders and if you don't interfere NOW, who knows that they wouldn't do these things by the time they are in highschool.

I'm that poster. I have kids from college to elementary school and I didn't interfere with stuff like this and it didn't blow up into major problems in high school. A sixth grader exerting some authority and testing their power over a younger kid is normal and doesn't automatically turn into something bigger. I grew up in NYC, where the things I described that you quoted did happen. Just because I don't raise my kids by escorting them to the bus stop and rushing in any time a kid is mean to them doesn't mean I am a person raising children to bully other people's children. That leap lacks logic.

Would you want to know if your 6th grader was behaving this way? What would you do if you were informed?

Sure I would. My boyfriend and I would give her a Big Talk about it, tell her to apologize to the kid, and we'd threaten to embarrass her by walking her to the bus stop and waiting with her if she couldn't be trusted to behave without supervision.

[Anonymous]

I may get flamed for this but here goes.

OP, I agree with you that, although it is not bullying, the 6th graders’ behavior should be addressed. The proper way to do it is to take up with the school administration as a general issue and not make it an issue about your specific child. “Principal, I have noticed that the 6th graders push to get on the bus first and a couple of kids almost got hurt. It may be a good idea for you to review bus behavior and safety with the students.”

The way you handled it by confronting the offenders may create MORE problems for your daughter and may actually result in bullying. Before, she was just some random 4th grader they could brush aside to get on the bus. Nobody gave her a second thought. Now, she is an identifiable target. She is now the 4th grader whose crazy mother has to fight her battles for her. YOU have given them a reason to single her out and tease her. And guess what? She is the one who has to ride the bus with these kids and go to school with them. So you flex your muscle and she has to pay the price.

Your daughter will be fine and, with time, she will learn how to navigate these issues. But you have to teach her how and give her the tools to do it. And if it gets too much, go to the school administrator and let them handle it. You cannot jump in and confront other kids every time. You are not helping your daughter in the long run. And let me tell you, middle school is MUCH worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sure I would. My boyfriend and I would give her a Big Talk about it, tell her to apologize to the kid, and we'd threaten to embarrass her by walking her to the bus stop and waiting with her if she couldn't be trusted to behave without supervision.

And if your kid told you that she was push/shove and almost fell to the ground, you would tell her it was probably her fault becauseshe didn't give way to the bigger kids? and that next time, she should have a big grin on her face and tell the other kid "after YOU" ???

[Anonymous]

16:16 Said it best. Listen to some wise advice OP and you will make things easier for your daughter, not harder.

OP, your post sounds like it could have been written by the mom of the 3 year old, who is freaking out because the 4-5 year olds got wild on the playground slide. You are over reacting and might cause more harm than good if you keep doing stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Now that we are sitting down and discussing this, yeah, there are things that we could have, would have and should have done. But let me tell you, if you were to see that two kids, twice-the-size of your kid elbowing her, using their big backpacks to push her to the side, I doubt that you could stand there and do nothing.

And yes, I walk with my 4th grader to the bus stop as much as I can possible can. I will only stop when she doesn't want me to anymore, not because I can't trust her or that others think that it's lame. But for now, we both love it. It give us extra time to talk and to bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sure I would. My boyfriend and I would give her a Big Talk about it, tell her to apologize to the kid, and we'd threaten to embarrass her by walking her to the bus stop and waiting with her if she couldn't be trusted to behave without supervision.

And if your kid told you that she was push/shove and almost fell to the ground, you would tell her it was probably her fault becauseshe didn't give way to the bigger kids? and that next time, she should have a big grin on her face and tell the other kid "after YOU" ???

My kids wouldn't come whining to me that they "almost" fell to the ground from a shove. They're a little tougher than that.