School is asking to bump DD to the next grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I am not buying the OP. How about some history here. You mean to tell me that your daughter who is actually young for her grade is so advanced that they want to move her ahead a grade and you had absolutely no idea...You just thought your daughter was a normal average kid doing her normal work..classic..

Sheesh.
You can't win on DCUM. Either you are a pushy jerk because you think your kid is advanced and how dare you suggest that your special snowflake is smarter than average, or you are a clueless neglectful parent because you waited for professionals (who see your child in an academic environment on a daily basis) to tell you that they think your kid is ready for advancement.

OP, ignore snark like this. FWIW, here's my experience....
I thought my kid was bright, I figured kid had a good shot at being identified for gifted services as they moved up though late elementary, but I was content to let teachers take the lead, and it was teachers, together with school guidance counselor and school psychologist, who brought up the idea of grade skipping.

[Anonymous]

I skipped 6th grade and regret it. The work was not much more challenging until I moved to a new school for high school. I was always younger and behind my peers for every milestone, through college. It may not have caused my social issues but certainly did not help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the language you used, it appears that you are at a private school - I am not sure what state - possibly NY(?). Have you considered other private schools? Seeing what your local public might offer?

The kids are all in public school. DD is already in the gifted & talented program since 2nd grade but that's only one day a week. It turns out last year's teacher suggested this and this year's teacher, after watching DD for the past month, agrees. Last year's teacher never once raised the issue with us though. We can not afford private school. We're in a good school district, and it seems like the teachers have been trying to gve DD as challenging work as they can find time for.

Hi OP. I think you have a great set of teachers guiding. I have a daughter who is on the older side of the spectrum, now in Middle School in MoCo. because she was on the older side, I kept the idea of grade-skipping in the back of my mind always. I was guided to consider this for 3rd / 4th grade or for 7th grade. If you have a good school and a good nurturing environment in her current school, and the teachers are genuinely attending to her needs by giving her the extra challenge, then I would stay put. Here's why. So many middle schools have problems! We may skip her ahead now and I am so glad I have left this option open til now. However, I wanted to see about how she would fare in the early adolescent years -- if she skipped, she'd the the youngest in the spectrum and would she be the last to get her period, wear a bra, or have a first kiss?. These are middle-school-age events. And these were some of the issues that the pediatrician had me think about. She is fine on all these fronts and she can skip and I must decide. The school wants us to make the move NLT mid quarter (i.e., now) and we are pushing for the end of 1st grading period. But this is the time in the school calendar that they would make the recommendation to grade skip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she on the young or old side for her grade?

I would make ask your ped for a referral to a developmental psychologist and talk this through with him or her. Whether your child is unusually bright or not is a non-issue if they don't have the emotional capacity to move up a grade.

Her birthday is in the fall, so on the younger side.

NP here. A resounding no from me. The school officials don't know what is best, OP, you do. If she skips a grade, she will have other problems -- she will be TWO YEARS younger then some kids. And she will have to make all new friends. Also, think about this: her teacher might not like her disrupting class, so she is trying to get rid of her and push her onto another class. Just have her take harder classes, but don't switch the grade.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm curious to know if your daughter attends private or public school. If public what county are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she on the young or old side for her grade?

I would make ask your ped for a referral to a developmental psychologist and talk this through with him or her. Whether your child is unusually bright or not is a non-issue if they don't have the emotional capacity to move up a grade.

Her birthday is in the fall, so on the younger side.

NP here. A resounding no from me. The school officials don't know what is best, OP, you do. If she skips a grade, she will have other problems -- she will be TWO YEARS younger then some kids. And she will have to make all new friends. Also, think about this: her teacher might not like her disrupting class, so she is trying to get rid of her and push her onto another class. Just have her take harder classes, but don't switch the grade.

Dont listen to the advice of those that havent been there.

My DC with a summer birthday skipped and is 9 in a class of 10-11yo's. Some best friends are 11. To finally have interesting and.challenging work.js.such a relief that it js worth it

[Anonymous]

Our daughter skipped and is now a senior in high school. Socially immature compared to peers and not ready to go to college.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think what you are getting from the variety of responses is that it really does depend on your child. You are already working with the school staff, including the psychologist, which is exactly what you need to do, because they will evaluate your whole child, both academic and social needs.
My kid was much happier hanging out with older kids--had more in common with them. Doing the grade skip worked because kid was advanced both academically and socially. If that describes your kid, you should consider skipping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter skipped and is now a senior in high school. Socially immature compared to peers and not ready to go to college.

That's what Gap Years are for.

[Anonymous]

My friend had this happen to her and was a nightmare in the high school years. She was very immature compared to peers and made very poor choices. She says she regrets that her parents moved her up. I'd avoid it, even thought it is appealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter skipped and is now a senior in high school. Socially immature compared to peers and not ready to go to college.

That's what Gap Years are for.

Right on. That is the plan for our daughter if she isn't ready at the time. We saw the choice as having her suffer for many years
of ES and MS or skip her with the risk of a problem later. We decided to fix the present, but be prepared to come up with creative solutions in case other problems popped up later.

[Anonymous]

I find the school's actions surprising. Of course, I don't know the whole story based on a synopsis, but as a teacher I know it's really rare for a school to support -- let alone suggest -- skipping grades. At least that's at a well regarded public school system in Nova. Maybe there's a different district policy at work here. I'd consult the director of the GT program in your district, or whatever the equivalent is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the school's actions surprising. Of course, I don't know the whole story based on a synopsis, but as a teacher I know it's really rare for a school to support -- let alone suggest -- skipping grades. At least that's at a well regarded public school system in Nova. Maybe there's a different district policy at work here. I'd consult the director of the GT program in your district, or whatever the equivalent is.

I don't know how big your school district is, but in mine, in the entire district there are only two teachers in the entire GT program - one for the 3 elementary schools and one for the two middle schools.

[Anonymous]

I would worry about her maturity. My son is pretty immature and I think he would flounder if moved up and lose his spark.

[Anonymous]

My brother skipped a grade (in fourth grade also) and ended up doing terribly in highschool. He didn't go directly to college because he was too immature for it. He finally pulled it together in college and is doing (very) well now, but it made high school terrible. It would have been so much better if he'd been pulled out for enrichment.