School is asking to bump DD to the next grade

[Anonymous]

We thought we were meeting with the teacher about DD's poor behavior. We thought they were going to ask to institute a very severe punishment system when the teacher said, "Please let me know if your husband can't join us, and we will reschedule for a a time that is also convenient for him."

Turned out it was a meeting with the teacher, the head teacher for the grade, the principal and the school psychologist. They believe DD is acting up because she is bored. They believe DD is bored because she already knows each concept being taught and if she comes across something she doesn't know, she teaches it to herself quickly. I am a little in shock. We don't have to make a decision today or anything but the school psychologist said that the more of the year she can spend in the company of the kids she'll spend the majority of her school years with, the better. She is in 4th grade.

Has anyone dealt with this before? What sorts of things do we even need to consider? I am wondering if I should ask DD's pediatrician or is that ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

Is she on the young or old side for her grade?

I would make ask your ped for a referral to a developmental psychologist and talk this through with him or her. Whether your child is unusually bright or not is a non-issue if they don't have the emotional capacity to move up a grade.

[Anonymous]

No need to ask the pediatrician, I don't think.

The best person to talk to is your daughter. If she's 9, she'll have a sense for what she needs. Ask her what she thinks, and tell you that you want to make sure she's not bored with easy work all day--that wouldn't be interesting for anyone!

Encourage her to move up. Tell her it might be hard at first, but you'll have a plan in place so she gets the help she needs to catch up and to feel comfortable with her new classmates.

Ask the teachers what they'll do to help her fill in the cracks, given that she'll be skipping over a full year curriculum (well, not a full year--there's a lot of review fron one year to the next).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she on the young or old side for her grade?

I would make ask your ped for a referral to a developmental psychologist and talk this through with him or her. Whether your child is unusually bright or not is a non-issue if they don't have the emotional capacity to move up a grade.

Her birthday is in the fall, so on the younger side.

[Anonymous]

Bumping up a year can help but not always. If the child is very bright they will pick up quickly or already know the concepts from the next grade up and be just as bored.

What is better is if they can challenge her more by creating extensions, activities that require critical thinking, novel ideas, creative thought etc... So they can take the concepts in the grade level curriculum and make them much harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping up a year can help but not always. If the child is very bright they will pick up quickly or already know the concepts from the next grade up and be just as bored.

What is better is if they can challenge her more by creating extensions, activities that require critical thinking, novel ideas, creative thought etc... So they can take the concepts in the grade level curriculum and make them much harder.

This is excellent advice. And I would be wary of the previous poster who suggests you encourage her to move up a grade. While of course you should see how she feels about it, her emotional maturity should be the biggest driver. If she's already on the young side for her grade, she would have to be an unusually mature kid to be equipped to be a peer to many of the kids (some of whom are already 11) in 5th grade. But it is possible that she's absolutely there - you know her best and can help her make that transition.

I would definitely ask about enrichment opportunities within the existing 4th grade curriculum, though.

[Anonymous]

I was bored to tears in the 4th grade and was put in 5th grade where I had to work. If she is bored,.she isn't learning anything, is she. You know your child, let her decide. It was great for me because I did have to pay attention and study and school was no longer boring. I'm sure her teacher gave this a great deal of thought before making this recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was bored to tears in the 4th grade and was put in 5th grade where I had to work. If she is bored,.she isn't learning anything, is she. You know your child, let her decide. It was great for me because I did have to pay attention and study and school was no longer boring. I'm sure her teacher gave this a great deal of thought before making this recommendation.

Don't you think letting a child decide things that will affect her when she's 15, 16, etc., is a bad idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was bored to tears in the 4th grade and was put in 5th grade where I had to work. If she is bored,.she isn't learning anything, is she. You know your child, let her decide. It was great for me because I did have to pay attention and study and school was no longer boring. I'm sure her teacher gave this a great deal of thought before making this recommendation.

I skipped 3rd grade; the only detriment was that I had to learn the times tables over the summer and felt at a disadvantage with long division. To this day, I'm crap at math...who knows if this had anything to do with skipping 3rd. Other than math, I still did very well in school.

[Anonymous]

A birthday in the fall means she is about to be 10, so that's on the older side for 4th grade. It sounds like she would graduate at age 17, which is still well with normal for maturity and age distribution. I would let her get bumped up, assuming that she is willing. If she wants to stay at the current grade, they need to give her more challenging work. Even rotate to the 5th grade for certain subjects. If she is hesitant because of the social stigma, I'd see if they could implement the 5th grade curriculum and make the grade jump to sixth grade next year. She won't stand out as much when everyone is making a school change.

[Anonymous]

I skipped second grade and still feel behind socially. Could be just my introvert personality, but I would think long and hard before doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping up a year can help but not always. If the child is very bright they will pick up quickly or already know the concepts from the next grade up and be just as bored.

What is better is if they can challenge her more by creating extensions, activities that require critical thinking, novel ideas, creative thought etc... So they can take the concepts in the grade level curriculum and make them much harder.

This is excellent advice. And I would be wary of the previous poster who suggests you encourage her to move up a grade. While of course you should see how she feels about it, her emotional maturity should be the biggest driver. If she's already on the young side for her grade, she would have to be an unusually mature kid to be equipped to be a peer to many of the kids (some of whom are already 11) in 5th grade. But it is possible that she's absolutely there - you know her best and can help her make that transition.

I would definitely ask about enrichment opportunities within the existing 4th grade curriculum, though.

this is good advice, i agree. before skipping her a grade i would find out more...is she ahead in every subject. if it's just math, for example, can she do math with the 5th grade and stay with her class otherwise. does the teacher think she's more than one or two grades ahead? what will they do for her if she's way ahead in 5th grade too? can she work on her own part of the class period?

[Anonymous]

What school system?

In my opinion, the teacher should be able to differentiate and challenge your daughter.

Any issues with behavior or maturity would only be exemplified in an older age group.

[Anonymous]

My sister skipped a grade at a young age - pre-k I think - and both my parents and she regret it to this day. (She is 51.) She did well academically, but says she never fit in socially, and she hated it. FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping up a year can help but not always. If the child is very bright they will pick up quickly or already know the concepts from the next grade up and be just as bored.

What is better is if they can challenge her more by creating extensions, activities that require critical thinking, novel ideas, creative thought etc... So they can take the concepts in the grade level curriculum and make them much harder.

This is excellent advice. And I would be wary of the previous poster who suggests you encourage her to move up a grade. While of course you should see how she feels about it, her emotional maturity should be the biggest driver. If she's already on the young side for her grade, she would have to be an unusually mature kid to be equipped to be a peer to many of the kids (some of whom are already 11) in 5th grade. But it is possible that she's absolutely there - you know her best and can help her make that transition.

I would definitely ask about enrichment opportunities within the existing 4th grade curriculum, though.

I went to a K-8 elementary and skipped the 8th grade and went straight to high school after 7th grade. I did great academically, but I do not think it was the best decision for me socially. Though I made plenty of friends in high school, I could have used more time to mature. Of course, at the time I did not think was necessary. But looking back, I think I would have figured out what I wanted and how to get it a lot sooner, if I had had more time before college to grow up. Especially given how expensive college is now, it is not the place to take your time to "find" yourself. I agree with PPs--see if there are enrichment opps for your DD at grade level.