Question for thick-skinned, overweight men and women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been obese my entire life, literally since toddlerhood, so it's not like I just gained 40 lbs with every pregnancy and was too lazy to do anything about it. It's been my entire life. But, I don't think my body is "horribly wrong." If being obese was "horribly wrong," like some kind of deformity, there would be far, far fewer obese people.

I'm not the OP, but this is not a good mindset. Being obese is "horribly wrong". Pls don't let the bad habits of others convince you that being obese is normal. It is not.

[Anonymous]

I swing back and forth between thin and fat over the course of about 10 years. I eat too much because of stress and don't exercise because of my work schedule. I will wake up one morning and my size 14 pants will be tight. I freak out and then lose weight. I knew all along I was gaining weight but did not want to deal with the dieting and exercising because it is easier not to. Is this what you wanted to know, OP?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why overweight women get so bent out of shape when someone points out that they're fat. It is what it is, ladies. If you're defensive, you know that you are disappointed with your physical appearance. Instead of attacking someone, perhaps you should look inward for ways to change your bad habits.

I'm 5'2" and weigh 194 lbs. A week ago, I was looking at photos of myself from 2 years ago when I weighed about 40 lbs less. While I knew I was getting "chunky", this was a HUGE wake-up call for me. Started walking 2.5 miles a day. Have lost 3 lbs in a week. My goal is to lose 2 lbs a week until I hit 160 or so. While the weight might still seem big to some, I have a body type that "weighs more than it looks". At 150-160, I was in a bikini and looked fab. Even now if you saw me, you'd think I was chunky/thick vs. fat. But, I'm not happy with my physical appearance. I know my husband loves me as I am, but I also know that I want to look sexy and beautiful for myself. And I'm not happy with this extra gut fat I have going on.

To answer your questions OP, I gained the majority of this weight after getting a tubal ligation almost 2 years ago. While I don't eat throughout the day a lot, when I do eat, it's usually unhealthy foods. I also love chocolate and Pepsi. I knew I was gaining weight, but it was easy to be in denial, because I look chunky rather than fat. Looking at old pictures of myself really brought the reality home. I'm way too young (32) to be so out of shape.

[Anonymous]

I think what OP is asking, albeit in a very inartful way, is how very obese people got that way. I once read answers to this question on a Weight Watchers forum, it was anonymous. Pretty much every single person who responded told a story of some sort of trauma, the majority of which were sexual abuse. It seems that some people cover up their inner hurt with food rather than alcohol or drugs. They don't really pay attention to how big they are until one day they realize they are 300 pounds. It's easy to make fun of these people or label them as stupid or lazy for getting that way but there is so so much more to it. We should sympathize with them and help them, not offer our scorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why overweight women get so bent out of shape when someone points out that they're fat. It is what it is, ladies. If you're defensive, you know that you are disappointed with your physical appearance. Instead of attacking someone, perhaps you should look inward for ways to change your bad habits..

I don't think people got bent out of shape that the op pointed out that they're fat. They got bent out of shape that OP thinks they are "horribly wrong" and because they are fat automatically hate themselves and can't walk up stairs.

I'm fat. I'm obese. I know that isn't healthy and I'm trying to change it. But I'm not horribly wrong. I don't get winded walking up stairs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what OP is asking, albeit in a very inartful way, is how very obese people got that way. I once read answers to this question on a Weight Watchers forum, it was anonymous. Pretty much every single person who responded told a story of some sort of trauma, the majority of which were sexual abuse. It seems that some people cover up their inner hurt with food rather than alcohol or drugs. They don't really pay attention to how big they are until one day they realize they are 300 pounds. It's easy to make fun of these people or label them as stupid or lazy for getting that way but there is so so much more to it. We should sympathize with them and help them, not offer our scorn.

Honestly, my biggest problem with OP is that she is supposed to be some kind of professional in respect to this very issue. If this is so, I would expect her to give answers, rather than ask for them (on an Internet forum - not less!).

[Anonymous]

Until you have been fat, you have no idea what people are going through. I have been thin and fat (baby weight), and it was awful. I was treated so differently by strangers. My family and husband were loving and amazing, but complete strangers were so rude to me. I noticed it in stores mostly. When I was at my thin weight, people would go out of their way to help me. At my fat weight, I was either invisible or an annoyance.

[Anonymous]

OP,what"s it like to look I'm mirror and see a horse's ass instead of a human face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why overweight women get so bent out of shape when someone points out that they're fat. It is what it is, ladies. If you're defensive, you know that you are disappointed with your physical appearance. Instead of attacking someone, perhaps you should look inward for ways to change your bad habits..

I don't think people got bent out of shape that the op pointed out that they're fat. They got bent out of shape that OP thinks they are "horribly wrong" and because they are fat automatically hate themselves and can't walk up stairs.

I'm fat. I'm obese. I know that isn't healthy and I'm trying to change it. But I'm not horribly wrong. I don't get winded walking up stairs, etc.

OP did not say fat people are horribly wrong, but rather than being obese is horribly wrong. There is a difference. I'm overweight and I agree that it is not healthy for me...I'm doing something about it. Being obese is horribly wrong. Doesn't matter about getting winded, etc. It is not healthy to have 50+ pounds of extra fat hanging off our bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until you have been fat, you have no idea what people are going through. I have been thin and fat (baby weight), and it was awful. I was treated so differently by strangers. My family and husband were loving and amazing, but complete strangers were so rude to me. I noticed it in stores mostly. When I was at my thin weight, people would go out of their way to help me. At my fat weight, I was either invisible or an annoyance.

So you are blaming others for not accepting your unhealthy choices?

[Anonymous]

So it's OK to bash fat people but complain about smokers is not accepted. riiiiiight.

[Anonymous]

I am thin now, but fat from the baby weight (7years ago). I am just explaining that I have been both fat and thin. The treatment I received while i was fat was shocking to me. Not blaming anyone.

[Anonymous]

I got fat slowly. Was always fit and thin(ish) until my thyroid zonked out. Gained 15 pounds then 5 more, then 5 more, then 5 more etc...until I had gained 45 pounds.

At first as I was gaining it, I was horrified, it didn't feel like my body, I felt disgusting. Despite feeling this way I had no energy to exercise and I ate garbage as it was faster and easier. Other things at the moment were more important than weight and I assumed I would lose it easily once I decided to.

After about a year though it was like my mind started to adjust to being fatter and I would think that I didn't look as fat anymore and would be surprised when I stepped on the scale and saw I hadn't lost weight. I had bought bigger clothes so my clothes still fit...and this new body kind of became my new baseline over time.

Now I am at about 25 lbs overweight. Sometimes I completely forget I am fat and other times I see a photo or glance in the mirror and am disgusted. I just don't seem to care enough though to do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been obese my entire life, literally since toddlerhood, so it's not like I just gained 40 lbs with every pregnancy and was too lazy to do anything about it. It's been my entire life. But, I don't think my body is "horribly wrong." If being obese was "horribly wrong," like some kind of deformity, there would be far, far fewer obese people.

I'm not the OP, but this is not a good mindset. Being obese is "horribly wrong". Pls don't let the bad habits of others convince you that being obese is normal. It is not.

You know, living paycheck to paycheck is not normal. I have no problems whatsoever being frugal and prudent with my money. What's up with all those people who lack financial discipline?

[Anonymous]

Given your background OP, you will be far more successful with your clients and in your profession if you carve out a niche working with those who are just overweight and out of shape – those with less than 30 or 40 lbs to lose and/or those wanting to get in shape/start exercising.

You are just not going to be the right person to counsel a very overweight or obese person. I understand where you are coming from. I posted before that I was morbidly obese and after having surgery have been a normal weight for a few years. Even though I was obese for 10+ years, it took a very short time for me to forget what it really feels like to be so overweight and to really remember how difficult everything about daily life could be. I think for someone who has never been in that position, you are just never going to get it no matter how much you read or talk to others. I do remember being 5’3” weighing 305lbs and only being able to do about 10 minutes of housework before being so tired I had to sit down for an hour. Carrying that much weight makes doing even very simple tasks hard so you tend to sit a lot. I couldn’t even walk through the mall for a short time without getting tired, winded and having my feet ache. I do recall going to eat at restaurants and not fitting in the booth. The table literally cut into my stomach. My own sympathy level for the obese has dipped way down and I find myself looking at people and be more judgmental especially when I see them chowing down at a fast food joint or a restaurant eating huge portions. I have also noticed that most of the overweight kids I see do in fact have an overweight parent and I find that even worse. And before anyone mentions it, yes, weight loss surgery does have a failure rate but it also has a success rate and many overweight and obese people hold up the failure rate as a reason to not get the surgery but seem to disregard the success rate. I did too for a long time but decided I was going to be the 50% who succeeded and I have been.

Being overweight is unhealthy. You can not be overweight and healthy. Excess weight puts a strain on the heart (medically proven) as well as the joints (medically proven) as well as other issues such as sleep apnea (medically proven). The damage is happening to the body internally and may not manifest itself for years to come but it is happening. So just being able to walk up the stairs and not get winded isn’t proof of being healthy nor is being in “shape”.