New single mommy...complex situation. Need advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are young. Your baby's bio dad is not the only possible dad in DC life. Right now DC doesn't know dad. There's no connection. He doesn't seem very interested and is also young. It sounds like the two of you will never be a match and he is looking in other places to start his family, down the road. You are, too. Without him in the picture. DC doesn't need the confusion later of "this is bio dad who I don't know and this is my dad" when you find that person you want to spent your life with. Don't try to force a connection where there isn't one with a guy who is too young and doesn't want it, for the sake of DC. I think that in this case you'll just be frustrated. Congratulations on your new addition! Enjoy being a mom. It's trying, but wonderful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd try to get him to sign and agree to you having full custody. Then you work out visitation - but you don't want to be in a situation where he may want partial custody some day (maybe he gets married, etc). Also that way, you'll have an agreement that you can use anytime you need to travel (you won't need to get a notarized letter each time).

+1

[Anonymous]

single mom here. Do you think that he might become a more responsible person as he matures? You might want to encourage his visiting for these early years in the hopes that he will really be an involved parent later. Personally I would not leave an infant or toddler alone with someone who is not mature and responsible. I would have him visit me AND the child.

I don't think I would pursue financial support from him at this point; it will only serve to alienate him. I would give it a few years, see how it plays out, while doing my part to encourage regular contact. Let him fall in love with his child.