Anyone regret having more than one child?

[Anonymous]

I was also having trouble handling one toddler, no family nearby, full time job, and husband was in the military and deployed often. We made the choice to have 1 child, who is now 10, and I am SO HAPPY that we do not have another. It just was not for me, and that's ok. I don't feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

PP here, by the way, even if husband was not in the military, we would have only had 1 child. The one was a HUGE change and strain on our marriage. I have no regrets and absolutely no guilt either.

[Anonymous]

I know I shouldn't admit it: but yes, I regret having a second and my husband has admitted the same. Kids are 2.5 and 1 year old now. A little different than you in that #2 was unplanned, but are financially stretched, exhausted, stressed, and have gotten in many more fights (which never happened before now). There's also no guarantee that having two means they will be friends, so far I'm constantly referee disputes. Hoping it gets better as the kids get older -- and number two is admittedly adorable despite being a really difficult baby -- but overall having two has made it obvious how many benefits there would have been to having a single child.

I think if you find parenting one kid to be easy, maybe it's easier to have a second than if parenting one child has made you really stressed.

[Anonymous]

i felt the way you do when my kids were small. having two really little ones is extremely difficult and exhausting. but now that mine are older, they really like each other, and play together, which gives us more time to ourselves. and their relationship with each other is very sweet and special. i hope that as they grow things get easier for you too! i definitely remember wondering why in the world we had decided to have two kids, when they were tiny like yours. but now that they are older i'm so grateful that we have two.

Anonymous wrote:I know I shouldn't admit it: but yes, I regret having a second and my husband has admitted the same. Kids are 2.5 and 1 year old now. A little different than you in that #2 was unplanned, but are financially stretched, exhausted, stressed, and have gotten in many more fights (which never happened before now). There's also no guarantee that having two means they will be friends, so far I'm constantly referee disputes. Hoping it gets better as the kids get older -- and number two is admittedly adorable despite being a really difficult baby -- but overall having two has made it obvious how many benefits there would have been to having a single child.

I think if you find parenting one kid to be easy, maybe it's easier to have a second than if parenting one child has made you really stressed.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are very wise to consider the possibility of having a kid with special needs. My #2, who was not planned and who appeared to be a healthy baby, has many issues that require hours of therapy a week. It's been emotionally and financially devastating. I feel like a shell of myself, although in the past few months I've begun to climb out of this dark cave (I'm not depressed just exhausted and burned out). I love #2 fiercely, but if I could forget about the love I have for her, and still be asked about regret, I would have to admit that I do feel it sometimes. Before we had two, I felt like a good enough mom to one. Unfortunately, with the stress of #2, those mothering skills have tanked in the last four years and I worry a lot about the negative effects on my older kid.

[Anonymous]

OP what did you end up doing?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who has 3 (9 year old, 5 year old and a toddler). she said that if she was going to do it again she'd just have one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are very wise to consider the possibility of having a kid with special needs. My #2, who was not planned and who appeared to be a healthy baby, has many issues that require hours of therapy a week. It's been emotionally and financially devastating. I feel like a shell of myself, although in the past few months I've begun to climb out of this dark cave (I'm not depressed just exhausted and burned out). I love #2 fiercely, but if I could forget about the love I have for her, and still be asked about regret, I would have to admit that I do feel it sometimes. Before we had two, I felt like a good enough mom to one. Unfortunately, with the stress of #2, those mothering skills have tanked in the last four years and I worry a lot about the negative effects on my older kid.

I just wanted to offer some words of support. That sounds incredibly difficult. I'd bet, however, that you're still doing a pretty good job with DC #1.

[Anonymous]

This is a depressing thread. If you already have two or more and you are saying you wish you only had one, you are saying that you wish one of your kids was dead or never existed. If you really feel that way, put the kid up for adoption or dump them off at a safe haven.

[Anonymous]

PP, what you are saying is actually themost depression post!! If you tell someone you would have ran a different life style if you were to start your life again doesnt mean you wish you husband or your kids were dead! It just means with age and experience comes the wisdom. It could also mean that anyone at any point in life could feel exhausted and frustrated. It definitely doesnt mean people wish their loved ones were dead...

[Anonymous]

Correction: Depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, what you are saying is actually themost depression post!! If you tell someone you would have ran a different life style if you were to start your life again doesnt mean you wish you husband or your kids were dead! It just means with age and experience comes the wisdom. It could also mean that anyone at any point in life could feel exhausted and frustrated. It definitely doesnt mean people wish their loved ones were dead...

If you heard you mother say she wishes she never got married and had kids, how do you think you would feel? It's one thing to not want to have more kids than you already have, but if you are a mom of 3 and magically wish you'd stopped at one, how do you think the other two would feel about this? You are saying that you wished the last two didn't ever exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In life you regret the things you did not do, not the things you did.
Once that 2nd baby comes, it just is so amazing and wonderful

this is awesome!

[Anonymous]

I regret it every single day.

[Anonymous]

Maybe antidepressants would help a lot of these individuals. Not being snarky; these are alarming statements.