Anyone regret having more than one child?

[Anonymous]

I don't regret it because I love my kids so much and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I often wish I could go back to a simpler life and I do wish I had stuck with one kid in some ways.

[Anonymous]

I've actually found life to be much easier with two kids. The kids are 2 years apart and play together well. This allows me MORE time to get things done than when I had just one. When there was one, I was always the go to person for everything. Now the kids help eachother out and entertain eachother. No regrets here.

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking that most people who comment on how much harder life is with 2 (or 3) vs. 1 must still have kids in the baby/infant/toddler stages.

I will say that once your children get just a little bit older, I find that life gets so much easier. Siblings tend to occupy themselves pretty well, and - I don't know - I like knowing that when I'm doing something for myself (like gardening/reading), my 2 older kids are playing soccer or throwing around a ball with each other, etc. Otherwise, I think I'd feel like I should be doing that with them in the yard, and not taking some time for myself.

Just my 2 cents...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't regret it because I love my kids so much and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I often wish I could go back to a simpler life and I do wish I had stuck with one kid in some ways.

How old are your kids? I am just curious because IMO the first 18mo were SO exhausting but now that the youngest is above 2, it is so great.

[Anonymous]

No way. Having two is great.

[Anonymous]

We are planning for #3 and aren't feeling overwhelmed. If it were up to me, I'd have been pregnant before our DC's 2nd and 4th birthdays which just occurred.

Having our first was waaaay more overwhelming due to life circumstances (lost my mum) and the fact that I was suddenly responsible for a little human. It's easy to get wrapped up in a child's minutiae with one, and having more children lets you take a step back and not micromanage your children. JMO, based on my experience and the parents of singletons I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went from 1 to 3 (yes, it happens) and life is certainly more chaotic. Planning even the simplest if outings takes 3 times as long and it was so easy to just carry on as usual with just one child. We travelled just as frequently,went out to eat as a family just as frequently, but not so with 3. Apart from it being much more expensive to travel, we now have to take our nanny with us to make the trip in any way pleasurable.
BUT, we would not change it for the world. The twins (2) are such a delight and bring such joy and laughter into our lives (including our older child who is 10), it is impossible to imagine a "better" life without them. It helps that they have sunny dispositions and are champion nappers and sleepers.

The move from 1 to 3 is about to happen to us, and honestly--I'm panicked. I'd love your thoughts on how to manage the chaos!

[Anonymous]

also about to go from 1 to 3, spontaneous twins not IVF/IUI

total shock and freaked out about the expenses for childcare (grandma can't handle 3), school (private if we do not move), college, new home (in my pre-marriage pre-kids starter home in a neighborhood and school district I would not raise kids in), different cars (3 car seats and 2 6ft+ adults) etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:also about to go from 1 to 3, spontaneous twins not IVF/IUI

total shock and freaked out about the expenses for childcare (grandma can't handle 3), school (private if we do not move), college, new home (in my pre-marriage pre-kids starter home in a neighborhood and school district I would not raise kids in), different cars (3 car seats and 2 6ft+ adults) etc.

First, congratulations on your impending twins! But the real reason I'm posting/quoting you is to ask why did you feel the need to say that your twins were not via IVF or IUI? As someone who did use both of these methods for two different pregnancies (and wound up with singletons both times) I have to question why you're perpetuating this myth that all multiples stem from infertility treatment.

[Anonymous]

I regret not having more than my 2....couldnt or would have love to have had 4

[Anonymous]

i have a 3.5, a 1.5, and just pregnant with my 3rd. i am feeling very selfish/me right now, because although i wanted to get pregnant, i was having a great time losing some weight, drinking alcohol, etc. and sleeping. i can't help thinking - what was i thinking?. the sleeping was nice. already developed insomnia during the entire week i've been pregnant.

[Anonymous]

First, congratulations on your impending twins! But the real reason I'm posting/quoting you is to ask why did you feel the need to say that your twins were not via IVF or IUI? As someone who did use both of these methods for two different pregnancies (and wound up with singletons both times) I have to question why you're perpetuating this myth that all multiples stem from infertility treatment.

Giving the poster the benefit of the doubt (I'm not her) she may have simply meant to indicate that it was completely unexpected (unlike in IUI or IVF, where if you're working wiht multiple follicles or embryos, you know there's a chance of multiples.)

Happy Friday!

[Anonymous]

Yep that is what I meant, it was totally unexpected. If we had fertility treatments I would have been more mentally prepared for the possibility of multiples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are planning for #3 and aren't feeling overwhelmed. If it were up to me, I'd have been pregnant before our DC's 2nd and 4th birthdays which just occurred.

Having our first was waaaay more overwhelming due to life circumstances (lost my mum) and the fact that I was suddenly responsible for a little human. It's easy to get wrapped up in a child's minutiae with one, and having more children lets you take a step back and not micromanage your children. JMO, based on my experience and the parents of singletons I know.

Totally agree. And I think having more than one must be really, really hard if you don't learn to step back. Heck, having ONE is hard if you think parenting is a job that requires constant involvement.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I regretted having #2. For the first couple months, maybe. This was the time when #1 hated me. She pushed me away and say "I no like mama." I felt like I ruined the great relationship I had with her and why did I rock the boat when things were going so well. Also, the first few weeks were painful breastfeeding wise and the memories of going through the newborn phase came rushing back at me, only they were not memories, but the real thing. It was not much easier the second go-around. Add to that #1 being jealous and demanding my attention, especially when #2 needed to be put down for a nap, if you can call it being put down when really I had to hold her all the time because she had reflux and cried a lot. And then... things started falling into place. #2 learned to sleep on her own. #1 started to try to play with #2 and calm her when she was upset. #2's vision got better and watched #1's every move adoringly. #2 is now 6 mos old, and it's still not cake, mind you, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The girls are starting to entertain each other, and #1 is as fascinated with #2 as vice versa. In another 6 months, I think things could be great.