has DCUM changed the way you view people?

[Anonymous]

I've learned that people are much more racist than I thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 17:19. There is either a lot more racism in this area than I thought or there are some posters that spend a lot of time posting their stereotyped opinions. I am also amazed that some of the mean posters recognize they are mean and just can't stop! Saw some emails directed to the site administrator and said they we aware their comments were offensive and asked if they were close to being blocked from using the site. The toll is that I am more wary of the parents that I am just meeting. Although it is may nature to shrug off people that don't agree with my choices in schooling for my little ones, etc.

I agree with this. Some of it just confirms what I've thought all along about what the dominant culture really thinks about the less dominant ones in the US. But I'm glad the secret racists are honest here; forewarned is forearmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to see a face when you stare at a computer screen, many of us, very often, don't pause and think that a human being is on the other side of the screen, hence the relentless snarkiness. Many of the things we spew on DCUM, we wouldn't dare say it to anyone's face, even strangers.

It's also easy to be mean, judgmental and snarky when you don't know the whole story. We fill in the blanks and create a complete picture based on our own assumptions and experiences. Half the time, the original poster's story is 10% and our own jaded assumptions is 90%.

I don't understand why anyone takes DCUM personally, I don't know how to be hurt when someone I don't know says shit about me.

Yes. Lots of whiners and complainers too...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never realized how much vitrol there was towards Catholics.

That's funny. I was going to say I never realized how much of a victim complex some Catholics have! And I'm not snarking at the Catholics when I say that. I've just read many threads on DCUM in recent months where Catholic posters seem very thin-skinned, and will go thermonuclear in response to fairly reasonable comments.

Another poster here, and I'm not Catholic myself. Again and again, I watch as some troll goes after Catholics, and no way are some of these posts "fairly reasonable," instead a lot tend towards gratuitous references to cannibalism, fairies and pederasts. If I were Catholic, I'd be sick of it too. Plus, per your own post, if a Catholic defends herself, she's "thermo-nuclear." I see it as part of the whole vitriol thing, myself.

I'm the "That's funny" PP you quoted. I certainly see plenty of snarky comments directed at the Catholic church, mostly at its alleged cover up of pedophilia incidents. And I'm sure you're right that many Catholics are sick and tired of hearing about the church's problems. So maybe that leads to them being thin-skinned generally, and seeing hidden criticism in otherwise reasonable comments.

But if you truly think I was saying no Catholic is allowed to defend herself, you are mistaken. Catholics can and should defend themselves from unwarranted criticism, just like anyone else. But the defense should be reasonable. No one should go thermonuclear in response to a reasonable criticism. Don't you agree? What I've noticed in the past couple months is several threads where Catholics will go thermo over innocuous posts.

Like I said before, perhaps they're feeling defensive as a result of other criticism they've received. Or perhaps it's just one or two particularly vocal and volatile Catholics who are making everyone else look crazy. I've got no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the "That's funny" PP you quoted. I certainly see plenty of snarky comments directed at the Catholic church, mostly at its alleged cover up of pedophilia incidents. And I'm sure you're right that many Catholics are sick and tired of hearing about the church's problems. So maybe that leads to them being thin-skinned generally, and seeing hidden criticism in otherwise reasonable comments.

But if you truly think I was saying no Catholic is allowed to defend herself, you are mistaken. Catholics can and should defend themselves from unwarranted criticism, just like anyone else. But the defense should be reasonable. No one should go thermonuclear in response to a reasonable criticism. Don't you agree? What I've noticed in the past couple months is several threads where Catholics will go thermo over innocuous posts.

Like I said before, perhaps they're feeling defensive as a result of other criticism they've received. Or perhaps it's just one or two particularly vocal and volatile Catholics who are making everyone else look crazy. I've got no idea.

I guess I don't agree, and here's why. First, you've put all the blame on Catholic posters for being "sick and tired of hearing about the church's problems, so maybe that leads to them being thin-skinned generally, and seeing hidden criticism in otherwise unreasonable comments." Then you conclude with "perhaps they're feeling defensive," which is another version of blame-the-victim. I don't think this is fair, because I think a lot of the comments are unreasonable and nasty, not what you call "reasonable criticism." If it were thoughtful criticism I'd feel really differently, but a lot of it is just straight-up abuse. There are 2-3 trolls who go for the jugular, for starters. And then a lot of other posters who seem to be having fun with the abuse. Plus, I've seen a little of what you call "thermonuclear" from Catholics but I haven't actually seen a lot of "thermonuclear," so I don't think this is fair, either.

Again, I'm not Catholic, and it's not my job to defend them. I'm assuming you're not either. Obviously neither of us is going to go through old threads and count up the incidents of justified vs. overreactions. But my perceptions clearly differ from yours. Maybe we should just leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it made me realize the amount of sheer gratuitous meanness out there. But then other posters have perceived me as mean, so there you go.

A agree. I generally assume that everyone that I meet is nice and has fairly straightforward intentions (because I am nice and I have fairly straightforward intentions.) DCUM has made me realize that many people are secretly not nice and there is a good likelihood that they mean or feel something other than what they say to my face.

Although I am nice and fairly straightforward and always try to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, I figured that many people are not nice or straightforward when I was 4 or 5. I didn't need DCUM to come to this conclusion.

It hasn't made me change the way I think about people.

[Anonymous]

PP, the rich DO NOT care what the little folk are doing. It is time DCUM understand that.

[Anonymous]

I am suprised by the lack of maturity in so many responses. Just this morning I was thinking, "Really? This is really the advice an adult would give another adult??"

The petty, I'll-show-YOU!, passive aggressive attitude is amazing (not in a good way) and an eye opener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never realized how much vitrol there was towards Catholics.

Really? Are you and all your closest friends Catholic?

Yeah, I'm catholic, but my husband isn't and only a very small percentage of my friends are catholic. I have never had any vitriol directed at my over my religion in real life but it comes up on dcum all the time.

[Anonymous]

I have been surprised by the WOP people who are judgy to the EOP people. And the whole, "You are an idiot for not buying in a great school pyramid before your child was conceived!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been surprised by the WOP people who are judgy to the EOP people. And the whole, "You are an idiot for not buying in a great school pyramid before your child was conceived!"

What are WOP and EOP? And I haunt the MoCo forum, but I haven't seen a lot of judginess for not having the prescience to buy in Bethesda 20 years ago. Is this the VA forum?

[Anonymous]

I've noticed that there is a preponderance of dog owners who seem to think that their four-legged friends should have the same considerations and status as human infants and children.

[Anonymous]

I have learned that people (at least in the DC metro area) are mean spirited and frustrated people, as evidenced by the sheer number of snarky comments posted to seemingly benign questions at times.

[Anonymous]

learned how sensitive people are. Some is generational. The younger set is very sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed that there is a preponderance of dog owners who seem to think that their four-legged friends should have the same considerations and status as human infants and children.

I have learned that there is a lot more hostility to dogs than I ever thought. And, more surprisingly, that there are dog owners who are hoping that their dogs die because they are tired of owning them. These things make me sad.

I have also learned not to engage non-dog owners in a debate. Either someone understands the importance that a dog can have in the life of a family or they don't. There is no point in trying to convince people on either side of this divide to try to overcome their differences. Better that people just agree to disagree and move on to another topic of discussion.