Do I have to pay child support?

[Anonymous]

"If my daughter came home pregnant at 16, I would absolutely do my best to convince her to have an abortion. No "My way or the highway" about it, but sitting her down and explaining to her the various ways it will make her life so much harder than it has to be. "

+1

[Anonymous]

What the hell people- it's YOUR GRANDCHILD. Wouldn't you want to be part of it's life and make sure he/she had what they need?! This is despicable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the hell people- it's YOUR GRANDCHILD. Wouldn't you want to be part of it's life and make sure he/she had what they need?! This is despicable

She's 16, 17, 18 and her life is just beginning. I would rather my daughter have a good chance in life and that won't happen if she is having a baby this young. Abortion is the only solution because I didn't carry her for 9 month, give birth, and take care of her for all these years so that she could be a brood mare for infertile women. She can have children AFTER she is married and mature enough to care for them. If I never have a grandchild, fine, but she isn't going to start popping out babies at her age.

[Anonymous]

VA

http://dhr.maryland.gov/csea/pat.phphttp://dhr.maryland.gov/csea/pat.phpwww.dss.virginia.gov/pub/pdf/dcse_paternity.pdf


MD
http://dhr.maryland.gov/csea/pat.php

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell people- it's YOUR GRANDCHILD. Wouldn't you want to be part of it's life and make sure he/she had what they need?! This is despicable

She's 16, 17, 18 and her life is just beginning. I would rather my daughter have a good chance in life and that won't happen if she is having a baby this young. Abortion is the only solution because I didn't carry her for 9 month, give birth, and take care of her for all these years so that she could be a brood mare for infertile women. She can have children AFTER she is married and mature enough to care for them. If I never have a grandchild, fine, but she isn't going to start popping out babies at her age.

Oh, OK. That explanation is great. You've definitely shown that you're not despicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.

If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.

Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.

Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.

OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.

The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.

Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.

And if your daughter did not want an abortion?

She's under 18, my house, my rules. However, I have discussed these things openly with son and daughter, They know how to use condoms and if my daughter should decide she wants to become sexually active, then she knows to come to me and we go to doctor for birth control pills. I've raised my three children and I'm not planning on raising theirs.

Gross. I am pro-choice, and therefore find your view reprehensible. Forcing someone to have an abortion is as anti-choice as it gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.

If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.

Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.

Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.

OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.

The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.

Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.

And deny her the chance to love and nurture her own child? Don't you think forcing fer to kill her unborn baby will destroy both her and your relationship with her?

She's 16 years old. No, I don't think forcing her to ABORT a zygote will destroy her relationship with me. I suppose if your daughter a victim of incest or rape and impregated, you would be in favor of her having said child.

I am pro-choice, not pro-abortion, so it would be up to her. A parent that forces her child to carry the product of rape to birth has failed as a parent. And you, too, would fail if you forced your daughter to have an abortion.

[Anonymous]

depends on what state you are in?

In virginia NO you are not on the hook.

How ever my parents are raising my brothers child and I know many other fathers parents raising their grandkids.

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't about abortion, adoption, rape, who is raising the child or any of those details. Mother is having the child and the question is, is grandma on the hook for child support. Her son should be on the hook and needs to get a job and pay up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell people- it's YOUR GRANDCHILD. Wouldn't you want to be part of it's life and make sure he/she had what they need?! This is despicable

She's 16, 17, 18 and her life is just beginning. I would rather my daughter have a good chance in life and that won't happen if she is having a baby this young. Abortion is the only solution because I didn't carry her for 9 month, give birth, and take care of her for all these years so that she could be a brood mare for infertile women. She can have children AFTER she is married and mature enough to care for them. If I never have a grandchild, fine, but she isn't going to start popping out babies at her age.

You are disgusting.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you to all for all the helpful (mostly) responses. We live in DC.
Both kids are good kids. Both are 17 in their junior year in high school. Never been in trouble. On track for college and hopefully still will be this time next year.
I have had open and honest communication with my son when it comes to sex and dating. They have been dating for 3 years and say they were using condoms. Unfortunately, the girl still ended up pregnant. There will be a DNA test but I have no doubt my son is the father. She is a nice girl and I do not think she is the type to sleep around.
An abortion is not an option. She does not want one. Neither set of parents is interested in forcing her to. We have talked to them about adoption. They are willing to consider it but right now are telling us they want to keep the baby.
Her parents are willing to house her and the baby. They are insistent that all other support for the child come from it's parents. I can't say I disagree.
Both of the kids have jobs, albeit minimum wage jobs. I took them to the bank to open their own account and they are depositing all of their money in the account to pay for the things the baby needs.
I asked the original question because her parents are still very angry. They do not that the kids will be able to support the baby and are very upset with my son. We got together the other night to discuss how to handle things going forward. It did not go well. They got so upset that they threatened to take my husband and I to court to pay child support. While I plan to help out in any way I can, I am not interested in going to court and being on the hook for child support. I do believe my son should pay support for his own child and will continue to encourage him to do so.

[Anonymous]

Child support is generally based on the parent's income not the grandparents income. Depending on benefits, they may be eligible for a day care voucher, wic, food stamps and other things. If they threaten, tell them to go ahead. Its not a big deal and if they go to court, you also go for a visitation agreement for your son to make sure its set up so he can be an active dad. Its better to have an agreement through court so they can't keep coming at your family for more and more money. Nothing can be done until there is a baby, so they have to wait till baby is born to file.

Give them time. Hopefully they will be supportive. If they are housing mom/baby, they are getting the bulk of the financial burden and child care assistance and they are ending their child rearing days, not beginning them so its a huge life change for them and their daughter, which comes with much disappointment especially if she is college bound.

For adoption, maybe when the time comes, have them meet with some families who adopted (better ones like us who aren't actively looking so there is no pressure either way well as some birthparents to see both sides.) Adoption is a very difficult choice but a good option depending on the situation. There are a variety of ways to adopt from private to agency to open to closed. But, the choice has to be theirs and only theirs to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to all for all the helpful (mostly) responses. We live in DC.
Both kids are good kids. Both are 17 in their junior year in high school. Never been in trouble. On track for college and hopefully still will be this time next year.
I have had open and honest communication with my son when it comes to sex and dating. They have been dating for 3 years and say they were using condoms. Unfortunately, the girl still ended up pregnant. There will be a DNA test but I have no doubt my son is the father. She is a nice girl and I do not think she is the type to sleep around.
An abortion is not an option. She does not want one. Neither set of parents is interested in forcing her to. We have talked to them about adoption. They are willing to consider it but right now are telling us they want to keep the baby.
Her parents are willing to house her and the baby. They are insistent that all other support for the child come from it's parents. I can't say I disagree.
Both of the kids have jobs, albeit minimum wage jobs. I took them to the bank to open their own account and they are depositing all of their money in the account to pay for the things the baby needs.
I asked the original question because her parents are still very angry. They do not that the kids will be able to support the baby and are very upset with my son. We got together the other night to discuss how to handle things going forward. It did not go well. They got so upset that they threatened to take my husband and I to court to pay child support. While I plan to help out in any way I can, I am not interested in going to court and being on the hook for child support. I do believe my son should pay support for his own child and will continue to encourage him to do so.

Look, they should have put their slut of a daughter on birth control. Don't know who they are angry at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to all for all the helpful (mostly) responses. We live in DC.
Both kids are good kids. Both are 17 in their junior year in high school. Never been in trouble. On track for college and hopefully still will be this time next year.
I have had open and honest communication with my son when it comes to sex and dating. They have been dating for 3 years and say they were using condoms. Unfortunately, the girl still ended up pregnant. There will be a DNA test but I have no doubt my son is the father. She is a nice girl and I do not think she is the type to sleep around.
An abortion is not an option. She does not want one. Neither set of parents is interested in forcing her to. We have talked to them about adoption. They are willing to consider it but right now are telling us they want to keep the baby.
Her parents are willing to house her and the baby. They are insistent that all other support for the child come from it's parents. I can't say I disagree.
Both of the kids have jobs, albeit minimum wage jobs. I took them to the bank to open their own account and they are depositing all of their money in the account to pay for the things the baby needs.
I asked the original question because her parents are still very angry. They do not that the kids will be able to support the baby and are very upset with my son. We got together the other night to discuss how to handle things going forward. It did not go well. They got so upset that they threatened to take my husband and I to court to pay child support. While I plan to help out in any way I can, I am not interested in going to court and being on the hook for child support. I do believe my son should pay support for his own child and will continue to encourage him to do so.

Look, they should have put their slut of a daughter on birth control. Don't know who they are angry at.

Not the OP, but that was uncalled for. The blame is on both kids, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Look, they should have put their slut of a daughter on birth control. Don't know who they are angry at.

They should have but didn't. Nothing you can do about it now.