SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Please do not submit a resume with a 10+ year gap and then tell me in your cover letter that you were off rearing children."

Huh? I was a SAHM for eleven years and then went back to work, and obviously I explained that the gap was because I was home with my children--good grief, what else would explain a gap that large?! Do I want them to think I was vacationing for eleven years? In prison? In outer space? You get the picture. Obviously, then I went on to discuss how I was a good fit for the job (which they must have agreed with, since I was hired), but not to mention it in passing is just absurd. ("Although I have been home with my children for a number of years, I am now eager to return to the workforce, etc., etc.")

Why even mention it at all? Wasn't that covered in your application materials? If you brought it up, it would be fair game for me to ask you if you had childcare in place, understood that occasionally the job required hours outside the normal working day. Are you going to explain why after 11 years off, you are suddenly eager to return to paid work, for reasons other than $$?

This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree with these posts but you women need to get your shit together. Collectively, you are a mess. Such hatred spewed against each other on DCUM. Damn I'm glad to be a man and don't have to deal with this trivial shit everyday.

Enjoy yourselves ladies.

Metrosexual,

Go start your own thread about what NOT to wear to an interview.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, my current job was pretty good with the fact that I had taken two years off while my son was really little because he had health problems. I only brought it up because they asked why I had left my prior job. We didn't talk about my son a lot, we mainly talked about the job and I asked questions about the nature of the work. They made sure (at their initiative) that I talked with some other people in the office who had kids so that I could get an idea of how the job worked for a person with a family, which made sense. It probably helped that I had busted my ass at my old job, so I had good references and good experience. Anyway, I viewed the interview as an opportunity to learn about the nature of the work and the resources that the office had to help me do the job (not HR type resources, getting the work done type resources). Maybe it also helped that I really was interested in the job in terms of the type of work involved, maybe that came across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but how is it NOT idiotic to boast about your decision to stay home in an interview? The likelihood is that you are interviewing with people who did not choose to do that and you are insulting them by saying things like the PPs quoted. It's actually really good advice for SAHMs re-entering the workforce to think about. Be careful what you say, the workforce is going to be a much more diverse place than you've been used to.

I'm the PP (SAHM for 11 years and now working). I don't consider it "boasting" to explain a gap on a resume. BTW, not only was I hired, but I also negotiated a family-friendly schedule. Yes, after eleven years. Oh, and I also have pictures of my kids at my desk and talk about them all the time during chitchat time at coffee breaks, etc.

Do you work full time? What general field of work are you in?

[Anonymous]

I'm ashamed to be a working mom right now, you people SUCK. Nasty and mean spirited...can't help, but think that many of these posts come from a place of deep insecurity.

[Anonymous]

"This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I? "

Sorry that I wasn't clear. Many SAHMs are looking to get back to work because they've had a negative turn in their financial circumstances - divorce, the DH lost his job or is underemployed, etc. My point was that maybe your family could no longer afford to have you SAH and after all, if you've been out 11 years, you probably don't need to spend $20 - $40 K a year on childcare as you would have if you'd gone back to work when your kids were younger.

[Anonymous]

The PP does bring up a valid point though. What do you say when asked about the gap? I'm the PP that asked a candidate once about her gap and she gave me the "didn't want to split my focus" answer. Not a good answer on many levels. I would have simply preferred something like "I decided to take a break from my career when we had young children, but during that break I did X, Y, and Z, or I went back to school, or....anything but what she said.

What's the best answer you've heard hiring managers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Please do not submit a resume with a 10+ year gap and then tell me in your cover letter that you were off rearing children."

Huh? I was a SAHM for eleven years and then went back to work, and obviously I explained that the gap was because I was home with my children--good grief, what else would explain a gap that large?! Do I want them to think I was vacationing for eleven years? In prison? In outer space? You get the picture. Obviously, then I went on to discuss how I was a good fit for the job (which they must have agreed with, since I was hired), but not to mention it in passing is just absurd. ("Although I have been home with my children for a number of years, I am now eager to return to the workforce, etc., etc.")

Why even mention it at all? Wasn't that covered in your application materials? If you brought it up, it would be fair game for me to ask you if you had childcare in place, understood that occasionally the job required hours outside the normal working day. Are you going to explain why after 11 years off, you are suddenly eager to return to paid work, for reasons other than $$?

This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?

I am always amazed at how insecure women are b/c they feel the need to add that money wasn't an issue. That's a red flag to me.

On another note, if you're opted out for many years, what's holding you back from taking classes or doing a bit of consulting if it fits your job? I was out for 2 1/2 years, and during that time I kept up my certification and consulted.

Some of you are such martyrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm ashamed to be a working mom right now, you people SUCK. Nasty and mean spirited...can't help, but think that many of these posts come from a place of deep insecurity.

Why? Should we not tell women that while they were busy with playdates, they might have lost a bit of an edge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP does bring up a valid point though. What do you say when asked about the gap? I'm the PP that asked a candidate once about her gap and she gave me the "didn't want to split my focus" answer. Not a good answer on many levels. I would have simply preferred something like "I decided to take a break from my career when we had young children, but during that break I did X, Y, and Z, or I went back to school, or....anything but what she said.

What's the best answer you've heard hiring managers?

I've heard some good ones:

"I moved with my husband who is active duty military, so I found I could not continue my previous job. I took advantage of the time and did [volunteered on base, etc.]"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm ashamed to be a working mom right now, you people SUCK. Nasty and mean spirited...can't help, but think that many of these posts come from a place of deep insecurity.

You don't work. Don't lie.

[Anonymous]

"This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?"

Why did you go back after 11 years if not for the extra cash? You know, we all work for money if we have paid jobs.

[Anonymous]

The Man is the Plan.

Please hire me.

[Anonymous]

""This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?"

Do you realize that lots of people build up debt to have a SAHP? I have a good friend who SAH for longer than you did, and she's been looking for work for years, literally. Her main reason for working now? To pay off the cc debt they built up while she SAH with their 3 kids. You do realize not all families with a SAHP can actually afford it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"This PP yet again. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone asked about my childcare plans. And your last question is just silly. I went back to work because I wanted to and was a great fit for the job, not for the money (obviously, we could afford for me to stay home so it wasn't about $$.) Of course I explained the reasons why I was getting back to work in the interview--why wouldn't I?"

Why did you go back after 11 years if not for the extra cash? You know, we all work for money if we have paid jobs.

I think that's unfair. I didn't take a break, but there are LOTS of reasons women go back to work besides money. I enjoy my career for many reasons other than money, and I wouldn't quit if I could suddenly afford to stay home!