If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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12/15/2011 00:30

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

I married when I was in my early to mid 20s. I wasn't looking for marriage, but fell totally in love. I truly cannot imagine my life without my husband. I would be devastated for some time. Not certain that I could even get over it.

Presuming that I could get past loosing him, I don't think I would look to get married, but I wasn't looking the first time, so it is certainly possible.

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12/15/2011 05:45

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:No. I would have assets, my kids (don't want more), a house free and clear, etc. I may date but a husband? No way.

Me too.

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12/15/2011 07:18

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

Yes. Whem I'm 80 and I look back at life I want to turn to someone and say "we did that together"

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12/15/2011 07:24

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would not consider it until youngest turned 18. Predators prey on single mothers. Just read the Sandusky complaint. Hardly a mention of a father in it. Probably would not do it afterwards either. I do not want any more kids so why ever would I get married again?

the sandusky complaint would be an argument to marrying to have a father in your child's life.

I said father, not stepfather. Remarriage would give a biologically unrelated man 24-hour access to my daughters, something that is the predator's fantasy and that I would never allow.

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12/15/2011 07:33

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

Do you know anything about the MO of predators? They don't come to you and say, "Hello. I'd like to abuse your children." They say, "I love kids and out of the pure goodness of my heart want to spend time with your children and be a father figure in their lives."

That is why single mothers are pulled in because every mother wants the best for her children and most believe a father figure, all other factors being equal, is a big plus. Predators know this.

Let me preempt your attacks now. Yes, I am paranoid and obsessed. I believe predators are so numerous and determined that the only way to even have a shot at defeating them is to be hypervigilant. No male babysitters ever, no sleepovers ever, and if DH dies no bringing another man into my home with my kids ever.

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12/15/2011 08:17

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:No. I would have assets, my kids (don't want more), a house free and clear, etc. I may date but a husband? No way.

Yup.

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12/15/2011 08:48

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

I love my husband and family, but find being married makes it very hard to change my life for the better. Most things I would like to do to make myself happier would make my husband and family unhappier. Since I love them, I prefer to make them happy than to make me happy. But, if I became a widow, I would think very very hard before falling in love again. I would try to keep some freedom to make changes in my life that would make it better (like, give up my current job, which I hate, and move someplace other than DC, which I hate). Of course, I'd still have to wait until my children are grown, but at least then I could think about doing what I like. My sister recently got a divorce (she has no children) and it is fun to watch her doing all the things her former partner prevented.

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12/15/2011 09:06

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

To turn the tables, how do you all feel about a man with young children remarrying after his wife has died?

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12/15/2011 11:38

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Do you know anything about the MO of predators? They don't come to you and say, "Hello. I'd like to abuse your children." They say, "I love kids and out of the pure goodness of my heart want to spend time with your children and be a father figure in their lives."

That is why single mothers are pulled in because every mother wants the best for her children and most believe a father figure, all other factors being equal, is a big plus. Predators know this.

Let me preempt your attacks now. Yes, I am paranoid and obsessed. I believe predators are so numerous and determined that the only way to even have a shot at defeating them is to be hypervigilant. No male babysitters ever, no sleepovers ever, and if DH dies no bringing another man into my home with my kids ever.

I actually agree. I fairly savvy when it comes to reading people, but I don't think I could trust my own judgement in this situation. I'd probably still get laid once in awhile, but I'd never bring someone into my home.

After my daughter moved out, I'd consider marriage or living with someone.

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12/15/2011 11:48

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

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Anonymous

No. Nada. Never.
I love my husband very much but I miss living alone sometimes. If he passed away today, I would grieve terribly but I would also never share my space with another person like that again.

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12/15/2011 11:59

Subject: If you were widowed now, would you ever remarry?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:To turn the tables, how do you all feel about a man with young children remarrying after his wife has died?

Similar issues. He must not delude himself into believing that the woman will ove his kids by his first wife as much as she loves her own.