Really Low Stepmom Moment

[Anonymous]

Verbal abuse,for a one time slip up? Some of the posters on DCUM are so sanctimonious I can't even stand it! OP, things happen and you did the right thing by apologizing immediately. (the word) Sh*t happens sometimes I think he'll live, unscathed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handled the situation well. Every parent makes mistakes step parents too. I hope you DSS apologized to you as well.

You seem so nice and your DSS is lucky to have you.

Stepmom here and I agree. I generally don't flip out, but when I do, you know I'm pissed about something! Sounds like you just hit your breaking point. Look- you're human. Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake are probably the most important things that happened in this situation.

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

Ah pissypants bio mom is back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handled the situation well. Every parent makes mistakes step parents too. I hope you DSS apologized to you as well.

You seem so nice and your DSS is lucky to have you.

Stepmom here and I agree. I generally don't flip out, but when I do, you know I'm pissed about something! Sounds like you just hit your breaking point. Look- you're human. Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake are probably the most important things that happened in this situation.

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

You want to control every word said to your child by a parental figure? Then don't get divorced. Otherwise, good luck with your policing. I have two close friends who are married to men with kids from earlier marriages. In both cases, the first wife has not remarried and seems to believe that she has retained some form of control over her former husband, and gained some form over control over his second wife, by making dramatic statements like PP's. My friends, their husbands, and increasingly the kids, just blow off the first wife. In one case it took about two years after the man's second marriage, and in the other case a bit over three years. People just get sick of hearing the same overstated, confrontational complaints and threats. I know other people with neutral to positive relationships with their spouses' former husbands or wives, and first wives who have become friends with second wives, but not where these types of threats are involved. If you want your kids to think you are ridiculous, and for your ex and his new wife/girlfriend/whatever to take you at all seriously, give up the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handled the situation well. Every parent makes mistakes step parents too. I hope you DSS apologized to you as well.

You seem so nice and your DSS is lucky to have you.

Stepmom here and I agree. I generally don't flip out, but when I do, you know I'm pissed about something! Sounds like you just hit your breaking point. Look- you're human. Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake are probably the most important things that happened in this situation.

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

You want to control every word said to your child by a parental figure? Then don't get divorced. Otherwise, good luck with your policing. I have two close friends who are married to men with kids from earlier marriages. In both cases, the first wife has not remarried and seems to believe that she has retained some form of control over her former husband, and gained some form over control over his second wife, by making dramatic statements like PP's. My friends, their husbands, and increasingly the kids, just blow off the first wife. In one case it took about two years after the man's second marriage, and in the other case a bit over three years. People just get sick of hearing the same overstated, confrontational complaints and threats. I know other people with neutral to positive relationships with their spouses' former husbands or wives, and first wives who have become friends with second wives, but not where these types of threats are involved. If you want your kids to think you are ridiculous, and for your ex and his new wife/girlfriend/whatever to take you at all seriously, give up the drama.

Whatever, like the other PP said when the 3rd wife calls her daughter a sh** she'll be back on DCUM... Her stepmother called my child x,y,z. You people are silly. It is never acceptable to call a child a name. And if you do keep it to yourself and your higher being. Do not feign concern and post it on a public forum for sympathy or for people to tell you what you did was right, justifiable, acceptable. It was wrong. You do run the risk of damaging the child's relationship with you and his biological parent (which is probably what you want) . Like I said earlier put on your big girl panties and kill your own f*** bugs.

[Anonymous]

All the people talking about verbal abuse and going back to court have no real idea of what it means to be divorced with a blended family. No one is running back to lawyers so quickly. Give it a rest. I don't think she should h e asked him to kill the bug. I don't think she should have cursed. I don't think the boy behaved in his best self either. Wow. Everyone here is just human! I do think that that is a tough age when kids are testing and separating. There is a shift in loyalty away from parents to friends. I think that the attitude can be draining for everyone. But when you are phobic and have that phobia shoved in your face you can have a visceral reaction that might make you curse. On the other hand, the step mom might want to think about what her frustration level has been lately and whether that is what really bubbled up. Not great but not the end of the world for anyone. Signed step mom of 11yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handled the situation well. Every parent makes mistakes step parents too. I hope you DSS apologized to you as well.

You seem so nice and your DSS is lucky to have you.

Stepmom here and I agree. I generally don't flip out, but when I do, you know I'm pissed about something! Sounds like you just hit your breaking point. Look- you're human. Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake are probably the most important things that happened in this situation.

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

I'd like to see a judge laugh in your face when you suggested disrupting what might otherwise be a very beneficial and settled home life for the child by taking his dad and stepmom to court for "verbal abuse."

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is that big of a deal unless you let it become one. You apologized. He's heard the word "sh*t" before, and he's probably used it. Seems like you both recovered. I had moments like this with my biological parents and nobody was abusive or scarred. Move on from this, but be prepared to hear about it from the kid's mom if she's an ax-grinding type.

I do think you need to learn to kill your own bugs, though. Stop being a pansy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You handled the situation well. Every parent makes mistakes step parents too. I hope you DSS apologized to you as well.

You seem so nice and your DSS is lucky to have you.

Stepmom here and I agree. I generally don't flip out, but when I do, you know I'm pissed about something! Sounds like you just hit your breaking point. Look- you're human. Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake are probably the most important things that happened in this situation.

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

I'd like to see a judge laugh in your face when you suggested disrupting what might otherwise be a very beneficial and settled home life for the child by taking his dad and stepmom to court for "verbal abuse."

Thats because you think it was just this one time. BS BS BS

[Anonymous]

He respects you a little less for being so afraid of bugs.

[Anonymous]

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

I would LOVE to be in court when you bring this up. I think the judges reaction would be priceless. In my jurisdiction, you would probably be accused of wasting the court's time and ordered to pay court costs/attorneys fees. And that's if it ever actually made it into the courtroom. Telling a 12 year old he is acting "like a little shit", isn't verbal abuse. It's not even close.

A 12 year old boy is not a baby. He is certainly old enough to take care of a spider for you. My 12 year old shot a raccoon in our back yard a few weeks ago. The raccoon had become a real pest and was behaving erratically (we had a rabies outbreak in our community). He didn't think anything about it. He just walked outside and shot the damn thing. Could I have done it? Of course. But I don't like raccoons. I asked him to take care of it. He said "yes ma'am". End of discussion.

Geesh. City people are truly raising an entire generation of pussified boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Like I said you better hope real mom is in a great mood when she here about it. I would show you a shi* move by filing in court. Verbally abuse my kid would ya?

I would LOVE to be in court when you bring this up. I think the judges reaction would be priceless. In my jurisdiction, you would probably be accused of wasting the court's time and ordered to pay court costs/attorneys fees. And that's if it ever actually made it into the courtroom. Telling a 12 year old he is acting "like a little shit", isn't verbal abuse. It's not even close.

A 12 year old boy is not a baby. He is certainly old enough to take care of a spider for you. My 12 year old shot a raccoon in our back yard a few weeks ago. The raccoon had become a real pest and was behaving erratically (we had a rabies outbreak in our community). He didn't think anything about it. He just walked outside and shot the damn thing. Could I have done it? Of course. But I don't like raccoons. I asked him to take care of it. He said "yes ma'am". End of discussion.

Geesh. City people are truly raising an entire generation of pussified boys.

So will you be okay when some of the city people look down on you Real Americans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the people talking about verbal abuse and going back to court have no real idea of what it means to be divorced with a blended family. No one is running back to lawyers so quickly. Give it a rest. I don't think she should h e asked him to kill the bug. I don't think she should have cursed. I don't think the boy behaved in his best self either. Wow. Everyone here is just human! I do think that that is a tough age when kids are testing and separating. There is a shift in loyalty away from parents to friends. I think that the attitude can be draining for everyone. But when you are phobic and have that phobia shoved in your face you can have a visceral reaction that might make you curse. On the other hand, the step mom might want to think about what her frustration level has been lately and whether that is what really bubbled up. Not great but not the end of the world for anyone. Signed step mom of 11yo.

BUT... she is an "adult"

[Anonymous]

Do you all remember middle school? And how it was when your relationship with your parents started changing?

I think it's time you start to see him more as a little man, not a child. I understand the challenges of getting a middle schooler to help out - and you do that by clear expectations (and perhaps it's time to add to his chore list if you think he's slacking. He's old enough to do his own laundry.). But not by demanding that he answer to your every command.