WAHM of 8 month old - WTF was I thinking?

[Anonymous]

The reason people are being snarky to the OP is that about every six months or so there is a post by a pregnant woman looking for tips on how to WAH FT w/o childcare. These threads alway end up with 100 people telling her not to do it, one whack job posting to say that she has been successful doing it by swaddling her six year old for 12 hours a day, and the OP latching on to the one whack job and telling everyone else to STFU because she can do it because she is a better mother than everyone else on the thread.

OP may not have actually posted one of these threads, but, it's hard to believe that no one warned her about doing this while she was pregnant.

[Anonymous]

OP, here's my two cents: Don't quit your job. Get some childcare and keep working. You are very lucky you have a job which does let you WAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't post that comment. You failed to read the string. Besides that, a lot of new mommies don't even know, what they don't know.

I can't figure out whether you're being sarcastic or not. "New mommies don't even know, what they don't know" - am I the only one who thinks the combination of the term "mommies" and the rest of that sentence brings to mind someone dumb as rocks who can only think about one thing and one thing only (baby)? I didn't check my brain at the door when I got knocked up.

Oh for Christ's sake. You've never heard the phrase "you don't know what you don't know?" Aside from a rogue comma, it was clear to me. Perhaps you did check your brain at the door but no one has pointed it out to you. That wasn't rocket science.

Jesus - you weren't being sarcastic? I've heard the term before, but basically saying that "mommies" are ignorant is just annoying. As though being a mother makes you stupid. Make sense? Maybe not. Perhaps this is an offshoot of the fact that use of the term "mommy" is a pet peeve and I roll my eyes every time someone says it. (barring my own child, referring to me, obviously.) And the fact that people use the term "mommy brain" all the time to excuse sloppiness and forgetfulness because now that I'm back from maternity leave, people expect me to have "mommy brain." Wow, that was a tangent. Someone go ahead and call me a miserable *&$! now, I know it's coming...

Two different posters. You really missed the mark. I think you do in fact have mommy mush brain.

PP here - touche!

[Anonymous]

I was totally unaware of how much work babies take each day. I thought they slept a lot. HA! Reading books on developmental stages, being part of a moms groups helps me get an idea of what to expect. DS really started crawling around 8 months, and all he wanted to do was practice, practice. His playmat became a joke. He didn't want to sit and do anything. I suspect your DC is going through this stage. Trying to keep her to a confined area for more than a few minutes is impossible without creating a lot of frustration. As DS learned to walk, that became his new favorite thing to do...only there were several months when that required my help. So it could quickly get worse.

If you geting into lots of frustrating moments, I could see where your child would have a hard time napping for a long time. Hey, I want to crawl!

Not sure where you live, but sharing a nanny with a neighbor would allow you to walk over for play breaks/etc. while some else makes sure she's fed/playing/etc.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses but I wanted to say I WAHM, telecommuting 100%. My employer's telework agreement requires childcare during work hours. That is not just reasonable but I think necessary--if you really want to work. Having childcare will make you a better parent, too--because when you're with your DC, you're really with her. She's young now, just wait until she's more mobile and can speak. You're not going to get away with this. For your own sanity as well--help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be pissed if an employee claimed to be 'working from home' and didn't have childcare. Nanny?

She, OP, would be fired because I don't believe any business has agreed for her to WAH without a nanny or other childcare.

I have never worked from home, per se, but there were many times I tried to do something work related on weekends, and older children are a distraction, as well.

[Anonymous]

I work PT from home. Started when DD was 13 mos and we did not have childcare at the time. I worked when DD was asleep, which generally meant after she went to bed. I got my work done, BUT I quickly realized this meant that I would have absolutely no time whatsoever to myself anymore. After literally a week, I got some PT daycare lined up. I realize this is much different than trying to work a FT job w/LO at home, but with the same result.

FWIW, I agree that new moms don't know what they don't know. That is why we should be able to go to a forum like this and ask questions and not get berated. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, you got lured into thinking WAHm with no childcare would be possible, because up to about 6 or 7 months, if you have a non-fussy baby, one who digests well (so no tummy upset) and sleeps OK, is fairly easy to soothe) AND you are just working part time from home, and your boss is understanding and work schedule is flexible... you CAN WAH with a newborn who basically just lies there, sleeps, rocks in the swing, and is content to play with his toes.

Then BLAMMO, the baby starts wanting to pull up, crawl, move around, explore, starts teething, gets cranky, has reactions to baby food -- the baby's just no longer content to hang out. SOunds like that's about the age your child is now, and so the golden months are over.

I do remember there being some woman around here who really has managed to make it work somehow even into the toddler stage but I think she does it by basically working nights or else her baby takes long, predictable naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you got lured into thinking WAHm with no childcare would be possible, because up to about 6 or 7 months, if you have a non-fussy baby, one who digests well (so no tummy upset) and sleeps OK, is fairly easy to soothe) AND you are just working part time from home, and your boss is understanding and work schedule is flexible... you CAN WAH with a newborn who basically just lies there, sleeps, rocks in the swing, and is content to play with his toes.

Then BLAMMO, the baby starts wanting to pull up, crawl, move around, explore, starts teething, gets cranky, has reactions to baby food -- the baby's just no longer content to hang out. SOunds like that's about the age your child is now, and so the golden months are over.

I do remember there being some woman around here who really has managed to make it work somehow even into the toddler stage but I think she does it by basically working nights or else her baby takes long, predictable naps.

NP here. This is what I'm hoping for when #2 comes along. My project should end by the time she is 6 mos. #1 will stay in daycare.

[Anonymous]

I've done it for 9 years, seasonal full time, with at least 2 of my 3 kids at home for most of it.

The ONLY way to make it work is if you are able to work unconventional hours, your spouse is exceptionally supportive and you don't have to talk to anyone on the phone throughout the day.

I'm talking power intervals throughout the day, late nights after husband and kids are sleeping and some evenings where husband plays mommy so you can work. You also need to be mobile with your work (ie have some tasks that you can do on the playroom floor while your kid climbs on you and shoves toys in your lap) Efficiency is key; you must work like the dickens in your productive moments.

It is truly not ideal, but it can be done under just the right circumstances. If you don't have this kind of situation or have to work set hours, get some help.

[Anonymous]

With #1, my hubs worked at home. We had a nanny. His work was never interrupted, and he was majorly productive thanks to no commute time (poured back into work hours).

Now with #2 currently age 7 months (#1 almost 4), husband still works at home and I have the FT child care provider role (for now). Husband as amazingly productive as ever, and I am barely able to keep up with the laundry. Yeah, a kid or two will do that to you!

Moral:

Someone has to watch, entertain, and raise the kids nearly full time when they're on the childcare clock. Other work can't really be done, unless it's the kind of work that progresses despite constant interruptions. Which would be... I dunno. I can't think of anything.