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WAHM of 8 month old - WTF was I thinking?
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Anonymous
Excuse did YOU read the string? Someone posted to OP "did you think you could work from home without childcare" to which someone responded "Yes because..." . I think anyone would think that it was OP asnwering since the quesiton was posed to her. The reponding person should have said "not op". So I did read correctly thanks! |
Anonymous
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It's really unfair to your kid to expect them to sleep or sit in a play yard all day. Think about it, what a crappy existence. Please get childcare.
It will only get much much worse. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, there really isn't any other solution than getting childcare. It's only going to get much worse and it's just not doable. I think you're gotten the only advice that's going to work for you. If there was some magic "you can work from home without childcare" ideas, it would be all over not just this board but the everywhere. Sadly, it doesn't exist. And the pp's are right - it's not fair to anyone involved, including your son. |
Anonymous
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OP - I tried to do the same, I really did. I was able to do it, but I was MISERABLE, and felt like I barely paid attention to my son, but also barely paid attention to work, (and forget sleep or even talking to DH). I wound up basically spending most of my time with DS during the wok day (but sometimes had to leave him fussing when something HAD to get done) and barely getting through 8 hours of work in 24 hours (including working for an hour or so at 3am while I got up to pump).
Around 5 months I started sending DS to daycare 3 days a week, and have recently found a local nanny share for a few hours for the other 2 (DS is 7.5mo). I find some of the PPs to be a bit snarky (but maybe I'm getting too sensitive to DCUM), but I do have to agree with them to some extent. Child care saved me, and the way it works now is I work about 10 hours a day while DS is at the structured daycare, and only 5 or 6 hours a day when he's at the nanny share - which lets me spend more time with him. If childcare isn't an option, then you might need to see if you can rearrange your schedule. Plan on doing a good chunk of work on weekends when DH can watch the baby, EARLY in the morning, late at night, etc. That's the path I took before I gave up and started daycare. It worked. Not necessarily pleasant, but it did work. Even if you can get yourself 2 days of free time with daycare, (or a few hours each day with a nanny share or something) it will make a huge difference. I find I'm now crazy productive because I know that if I don't get things done it will impact my time with my family. I also want to say that it's also not fair to yourself to try to WAH full time AND be a full time mom. You're trying to do 2 full time jobs at the same time! Good luck!!! I'll be rooting for you 
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Anonymous
| OP, I'm going to link to this thread every time a new mom writes about how she's planning to work from home after the baby is born. As others have pointed out, this situation isn't fair to anyone involved -- including you. |
Anonymous
| I had no idea I wouldn't be able to work from home and take care of a baby, either. I had little experience with babies and a very flexible job. But then I had the baby and discovered the reality of it--it's just impossible. Now my DD goes to daycare and I can get my work done. When you haven't had much experience with babies, I think it's easy to make the mistake that you CAN do both. |
Anonymous
I can't figure out whether you're being sarcastic or not. "New mommies don't even know, what they don't know" - am I the only one who thinks the combination of the term "mommies" and the rest of that sentence brings to mind someone dumb as rocks who can only think about one thing and one thing only (baby)? I didn't check my brain at the door when I got knocked up. |
Anonymous
Oh for Christ's sake. You've never heard the phrase "you don't know what you don't know?" Aside from a rogue comma, it was clear to me. Perhaps you did check your brain at the door but no one has pointed it out to you. That wasn't rocket science. |
Anonymous
| I work at night (consultant). Sorry, it just doesn't work during the day. |
Anonymous
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OP here again. I agree with and appreciate the "it isn't fair" and other comments; I came here for help and suggestions and accept whatever criticism it takes. I went into this with an extremely flexible job I've been doing job for 15 years. I'm able to do 40 hours of work in about 25-30 hours, I've worked odd hours to make up for my "play" time and worked round the clock during crunch times. After almost 6 months maternity leave/working part time, I still think I have the most flexible full-time job imaginable. So I really thought I could do both well.
I set up a nice big play yard with lots of toys right beside me. I have tons of toddler music downloaded to sing along with. I take frequent breaks (as evidenced by my following of this thread) to interact with, love on and feed him. I knew I'd have to arrange calls while he napped, and work some big projects when hubby was home, but I thought I could for the most part WAH 9-5...I was wrong. I made my post as a rant, but a rant with a cause...looking for suggestions. I'm not looking for a magic answer, but rather, what I'm getting. Suggestions like nanny, or altering my hours, etc. Thank you to all the helpful, honest responses ~ I think it would be great to link back to this post...I wonder if I would have still thought 'I can do it' had I read this before?? |
Anonymous
| It doesn't work. My DS is 2 and I'm writing my dissertation. We're joining a nanny share at the end of the month. |
Anonymous
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you need suggestions? really?
nanny or daycare. period. |
Anonymous
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14:20 again- I can be slightly more constructive: I'd say be proud of yourself that you've done it this long. I got to nine months before I realized that it was just IMPOSSIBLE without having help. Before 8-9 mos, my son was SO easygoing. He'd play in his bouncer, play on the floor, dump toys out of a laundry basket and put them all back in. I could get tons of household stuff done while he played, then I worked while he slept.
The older he has gotten, the harder it has become to get household tasks done because he spills something all over the floor while I'm emptying the dishwasher or he screams that he's hungry while I'm trying to clean, or he wants a turn with the vacuum- you get the point. Everything takes WAY longer now. I need his nap time for the stuff I used to do while he was awake, and I need some ALONE time when he goes to bed! (or time with DH) I just cannot possibly spend every second doing work on my dissertation anymore while trying to manage a toddler and a house, so I'm biting the bullet and going with the nanny share. Look on the nanny sharing forum on DCUM- you'll be surprised to find lots of people in your position with flexible schedules who need some help as well. Team up with them and it'll be cheaper for you, plus your lil guy will have a buddy! |
Anonymous
OP again... Thanks most especially to you! DCUM wouldn't be the same without a few bitches!!! |
Anonymous
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OP again..
Love the nanny-share idea! I'm sending this link to my hubby now so he'll be convinced as well. Thanks!!
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