$1.2m -- Need more certainty

[Anonymous]

Two comments. First, I'm not sure OP is being straight with us. She's expressing lots of concern about making this decision in the middle of the summer, before she's even applied to any private schools. Also, if you look at some of her posts on this thread (see below), she's saying inconsistent things about her ability to afford private school. I'd like to give OP the benefit of the doubt, but I'm starting to wonder whether this is one of those threads where people try to stir up some controversy to relieve summer boredom.

OP initially wrote:We are well off, but not so well off that money doesn't matter and we wouldn't notice paying the tuition. I would like to have some money when I retire -- not so much for myself, but to spend on my family

OP later wrote:we make 700k per year and have $4m in the bank, not including equity in our house.

Second, it seems like this thread will never get anywhere with people trying to compare all publics to all privates. Each individual school has different strengths and weaknesses. Some public schools might be better than some private schools, and some not. OP's question cannot be answered in a vacuum. Indeed, OP acknowledged this with her comment below. Maybe if OP wants some serious responses, she should name 2-3 private schools she would be targeting for her kids, so people can comment on how they compare to her public options.

OP wrote:if I thought my DS could get into Sidwell, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion. I don't feel the same way about any other school.

[Anonymous]

I dunno. To me, there's nothing inherently suspect about thinking over the summer about (a) what you discovered during the school year and (b) whether your original plans for the fall (start looking for a private school) still make sense.

And re the money stuff -- $4 million in the bank now probably covers retirement and college, but if you want to travel, buy a second home, and give your 3 kids downpayments for their first homes (and/or to help finance their graduate educations) then you might well think twice about $1.2 mill for primary/secondary education. Especially if the $4 million in the bank doesn't represent future capacity for savings (e.g. if part of it is inheritance).

So, yeah, it could be a stir up controversy post -- but it could also be legit. And, of course, regardless of the OP's motivation, the thread will exist for other people who are asking themselves this question (and I've got to believe that they exist because it's a reasonable question).

[Anonymous]

9:56: how's this for summer boredom? I can't figure out how you crop quote so nicely in your posts. I'm impressed. Nice job. (Really.) If we all could do this it was save so much cyber space and scrolling time.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- thanks for all the comments, even the negative ones. I did get some nuanced responses that have been very helpful. My take is if I learn just one tiny tidbit from a post on this site, it is worth it.

Thanks. And let's close this one down.

BTW, I still don't consider myself rich enough to not worry about this issue -- see multiple threads on this site about what constitutes rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For good return on investment, there are only a few private schools in the area worth attending. That number you can count on a single hand. To go private for "private" sake doesn't make any sense unless your children have special needs and/or disabilities.

Totally agree. When we looked at high schools there was only 1 that my DC liked better than our public school and that we thought was worth the tuition given the MCPS option. DC was waitlisted so is at MCPS and it has turned out to be a great fit.

[Anonymous]

Then take this argument to the public school thread OP + pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here --

The comment about being "creepy" is pretty laughable.

I have not made up my mind. Wish I had -- would be sleeping better at night.

Comment about how "I belong in public" is also pretty ridiculous. I totally get that people who are in privates obviously feel it is the best option and want what is best for their kids, but really? Maybe your in the "tuition payments don't even hit my radar" camp -- if that is the case, congrats. I hope you situation never changes.

FWIW, we make 700k per year and have $4m in the bank, not including equity in our house. I am sorry for stooping to this -- some people bring the worst out of you. I drop in the bucket for some I am sure.Point is that I didn't end up relatively well off by making decisions and spending a lot of money without solid facts.

YUCK.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is that no-one can give you certainty that your 6-year-old will receive $400,000 worth of benefit over the next 12 years, even at your dream school (whatever it is). Kids change, schools change, and there's no guarantee that things will work out. If your criteria for success is admission to the college of YOUR choice for your (now 6-year-old) DC, there's even less certainty. If you're looking for guarantees over 12 years for three different kids, less still.

If you've got a good thing going (and it sounds like you do), stick with it. If and when your DC needs a change, you will know it.

And, just to say it again, even if your DC decides, 11 years from now, that s/he agrees with your college preferences, being at Sidwell, or a Cathedral school, or GDS, or whereever will not necessarily improve the chances for admission. In fact, unless your DC is a superstar, it might hurt their chances. So relax, save your money, enjoy the ride, whatever.

[Anonymous]

I still find it a bit incredible that with that income and savings and a home in MoCo that the OP needs to ask about this--it makes this person seem very out of touch with the amount of money that most people live very comfortably on, even those who send kid(s) to private schools. This income/ net worth is HIGH by any standards at least in my reality.

[Anonymous]

Op here -- thanks for an attempt to bring this debate to a higher level (I know I contributed to its demise). What differences did you see in public v. private?

To add more info -- we absolutely intended to go private. I screwed up the redshirting issue and had to put my DD somewhere (DS is late summer birthday, oldest child, not very mature, but no learning disabilities). Much to my surprise, we loved the K public.

While I don't have a clip board, I am still struggling with whether the quality of experience is better.

I admit it is easy to say, I have the money, so why take the risk by going public. I am trying to resist that.

I am also struggling with the diversity issue -- see other threads.

Final point, that I didn't make earlier bc I know it would take the thread in a different direction -- if I thought my DS could get into Sidwell, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion.[b] I don't feel the same way about any other school.

Show them your bank statement. You're certainly eager to share that info. with us.

[Anonymous]

IMO and speaking from my parenting experience, from second grade through eighth grade, almost any private school is better than almost any public school. I truly believe this. However, I think high school gets a little iffier. We have done both public and private( lower and upper). Neither is perfect and I think at that level it greatly depends on a kid's strengths, weaknesses as well as the school's strengths and weaknesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it ain't broke, don't spend $1.2 million to fix it.

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