$1.2m -- Need more certainty

[Anonymous]

I know that this issue has been discussed before, but I am looking for new insight/nuance to the discussion.

I am struggling with whether to jump on the private school bandwagon. I have three kids, so I figure when all is said and done, we are looking at $1.2m BEFORE college.

We are well off, but not so well off that money doesn't matter and we wouldn't notice paying the tuition. I would like to have some money when I retire -- not so much for myself, but to spend on my family (traveling, vacation home, helping with home purchase, etc.)

If someone could guarantee me that for $1.2m I am actually providing my kids a better education, that would be one thing. But I hear so many stories about that not being the case. And I see other families who have done this and I scratch my head a bit asking whether it was worth it given the kids' scores, colleges, etc.

We are in MoCo -- Churchill district. My DD went to K last year and we loved it (we had planned to move her this year or next -- long story).

I also saw first hand this year while volunteering that it really is up to the parents to make a difference.

Looking for insighht. I know there are a lot worse problems in the world, so please indulge me.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've already made up your mind. You don't seem on-the-fence at all. So it doesn't make sense for anyone else to relate her reasons for preferring private school.

Different kids react differently to different environments. No one has a crystal ball, so no one can offer you definitive proof of where either path will lead your children.

[Anonymous]

I would add that your children will each have different needs, and different needs at different ages. If they're doing fine in public why move them? If they start to falter, or you see something you don't like, move them then - you'll have a much clearer idea at that point of what you are buying.

[Anonymous]

If it ain't broke, don't spend $1.2 million to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Op, I live in the same district and would stay public if I didn't have a child with learning differences. We did public for a year and I loved the school and the community. If your child is a typical learner, I wouldn't spend the extra $$.

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar situation, but we have 3 kids! We did public for Elem and will switch oldest child to private starting in middle school. Saved a lot of $ this way. We are in Whitman district and Elems have a solid education. Good enough to get in to our top choice school. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We live in MoCo as well and affording private school is not an issue. We looked extensively at privates, both at the lower and upper school levels, and could not justify putting DC in private school when what our public school provided in academic, arts, musics, extra-curriculars, etc. were just as good if not better; especially in the area of math and science. In addition, I found our teachers to be well qualified, experienced and caring. I think people assume that private schools, especially the most selective ones, provide a better education than public schools but depending on which schools are being compared that may not be true. I agree with the poster that said that if everything is working out for your child why pull him/her out of a good environment for one that may be equal or worst, but will certainly cost a lot more. However, even for us where cost is not a factor we felt the benefits of the public schools outweighed even the top privates. If you haven't already, sit in the classrooms of the schools you are interested in. You may find what you currently have is superior. Just our experience - hope this helps in your decision.

[Anonymous]

Stay in public! You would be crazy not to do so. If it becomes obvious at some point that the school is not meeting your kid's needs, then you can move to private and feel sure about your choice to spend the money.

[Anonymous]

We could (easily) afford private but are doing public. For us it isn't really a money issue, it is that I want my kids to have friends in the neighborhood, experience some socioeconomic diversity, be able to relate to people of different backgrounds etc.
Of course, if things don't work out then we always have the option of going private down the road.

My brother and I were educated privately - he hated it and ended up going public, which was a somewhat difficult transition. Don't assume that the grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- thanks for the comments.

I totally agree that a "wait and see" approach would be best, but unfortunately, that is typically not the case to get into a good private. You have to get in at the early grades. Wish that were not the case.

I also agree on the diversity angle. My daughter's K was pretty diverse -- my understanding is that the privatres we are looking at are not diverse -- except perhaps Sidwell.

I really haven't made up my mind. My concern is about having regrets later about not sending my kids to privates to give them the "best education available." What is truly the best education for my kids. I don't want it to be about money, though of course that has to factor into it a bit.

I think the privates play into this to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you invest a few hundred dollars to apply, see where your kids can actually get admitted, and then re-evaluate? You might be engaging in a lot of moot agita.

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack the thread, but responding to the recent posts, one should not assume that children are developing meaningful relationships with a diverse group of students simply because the student body is more diverse. Based on my experience, children have a much more integrated experience in private school than in public, meaning that children develop meaningful relationships across racial and socio-economic lines more in private schools. Before the flames start, I'm not saying there aren't exceptions, but I would be interested to hear whether kids at the public schools mentioned attend birthday parties that include a truly diverse group of kids or have play dates with a diverse group of kids. In my neighborhood for example, my DCs have the most diverse group of friends of any of the neighborhood kids and they are the only ones in private school.

Back to the topic - even though I have kids in private, I agree that given the cost of private school today, which is increasing with no end in sight, why jump on the bandwagon if public is working. If things change, you can reevaluate at that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- thanks for the comments.

I totally agree that a "wait and see" approach would be best, but unfortunately, that is typically not the case to get into a good private. You have to get in at the early grades. Wish that were not the case.

I also agree on the diversity angle. My daughter's K was pretty diverse -- my understanding is that the privatres we are looking at are not diverse -- except perhaps Sidwell.

I really haven't made up my mind. My concern is about having regrets later about not sending my kids to privates to give them the "best education available." What is truly the best education for my kids. I don't want it to be about money, though of course that has to factor into it a bit.

I think the privates play into this to be honest.

Actually, most private schools expand repeatedly. Sidwell, for example, expands at 3rd, 6th, 7th, and 9th. That gives you several good decision points (mid elementary, end of elementary, end of middle school), and others are similar. It's not K or nothing (and many of the best students are those who came in middle or upper school).

[Anonymous]

You sound like you are trying to stir up very old arguments OP. Go public -- your kids belong there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- thanks for the comments.

I totally agree that a "wait and see" approach would be best, but unfortunately, that is typically not the case to get into a good private. You have to get in at the early grades. Wish that were not the case.

In my experience it is generally not a good idea to base decisions like this on fear.

Good children can get into good schools at different ages.