The Red Tent Movement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.

If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.

Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.

As is a young boys first wet dream but men don't have puberty parties with bo scented foods and wet dreamed-themed poems.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely NO ceremony. ACK!! But nice to not simply have it something to dread. Our DD has a piece of jewelry that she really wants. We bought it for her (it is a bit expensive--not hugely, but enough) and she knows that it is waiting for her. It is our secret. When her period starts, she will get to wear her new jewelry, so she can look forward to starting, instead of just dreading the cramps and the pads, etc. No one but us will ever know, but she can feel good about it. Privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.

If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.

Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.

As is a young boys first wet dream but men don't have puberty parties with bo scented foods and wet dreamed-themed poems.

Men are not struggling against thousands of years of being told that their bodies are dirty, shameful, unnatural, that bearing children in pain is God's punishment, that women are responsible for evil...

Kind of like affirmative action, men don't need wet dream parties because there are plenty of other ways society encourages and validates their maleness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.

If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.

Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.

I agree with this. I hate getting my period, too, but I wish I hadn't grown up feeling like it was something shameful that I had to hide from everyone and never talk about it. I would never have wanted a party, I don't even like birthday parties, but if my mom had done something special for me, maybe I could have started that part of my life positively instead of hiding in embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely NO ceremony. ACK!! But nice to not simply have it something to dread. Our DD has a piece of jewelry that she really wants. We bought it for her (it is a bit expensive--not hugely, but enough) and she knows that it is waiting for her. It is our secret. When her period starts, she will get to wear her new jewelry, so she can look forward to starting, instead of just dreading the cramps and the pads, etc. No one but us will ever know, but she can feel good about it. Privately.

This sounds very nice. Thanks for sharing that.

[Anonymous]

I started in elementary school, too. It sucked. I knew where the supplies were kept in my house and knew how to use them so I didn't even tell my mom for a while. I was so embarrassed about the whole thing that I used to make my parents go into the store to buy more pads for me while I waited in the car. That was before I finally reached my teens and discovered tampons. Thank goodness.

That said, a small piece of garnett jewelry and a hug might have been nice. At least, it would be nice as an adult to look at something that commemorates the occasion. But, at around 10 yrs old, I may have been too young to deal with it. If the daughter is 15 or so, that may be different.

[Anonymous]

When I got my period, my mom and two much older sisters took me out for a celebratory lunch and let me have a sip of red wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.

If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.

Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.

As is a young boys first wet dream but men don't have puberty parties with bo scented foods and wet dreamed-themed poems.

Men are not struggling against thousands of years of being told that their bodies are dirty, shameful, unnatural, that bearing children in pain is God's punishment, that women are responsible for evil...

Kind of like affirmative action, men don't need wet dream parties because there are plenty of other ways society encourages and validates their maleness.

I disagree. Men have their own issues to deal with. They are expected to be manly, tough, can't show emotion. They can't embrace much more than being "man". I think it's just as hard to raise a strong boy as it is to raise a strong girl. Schools are geared towards females, society doesn't let boys be "babies", girls can show emotion while boys cannot so please don't act like girls are the only ones who have it so bad because their bodies are dirty and shameful. Boys goes through the same stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.

If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.

Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.

As is a young boys first wet dream but men don't have puberty parties with bo scented foods and wet dreamed-themed poems.

Men are not struggling against thousands of years of being told that their bodies are dirty, shameful, unnatural, that bearing children in pain is God's punishment, that women are responsible for evil...

Kind of like affirmative action, men don't need wet dream parties because there are plenty of other ways society encourages and validates their maleness.

Tell that to a boy who pops accidental boners in school. When you are young you can't always control them and you don't have to be thinking dirty thoughts to get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of a thing does exist in some cultures. I am from India and i remember it is a big thing atleast when I was growing up. I dont remember what all was done but a lot of people are invited to bless the girl and there would be a big feast. Nothing done for me because I did not want to announce it to the world

Some parts of India and some families, but yes it is celebrated. My mother's family does have such a ceremony and celebration. My father's doesn't, and they would horrified to attend. It's just important to note that very few people are knowledgeable enough to speak about Indian culture as a whole, since there are so many cultures within. It leaves people with the wrong impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but the book was so mediocre, and the story of Dina a tragedy.

To each its own, but I thought "The Red Tent" it was one of the best books I read. And I'm an atheist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get "congratulating" a girl on getting her period - it's not like it's some sort of accomplishment. My oldest hasn't gotten her period yet but she is entering puberty. We've talked a lot, read some books, bought some pads, but she would be utterly horrified if I suggested planning a party and inviting her friends!

Then why celebrate birthdays? They aren't accomplishments either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:""Welcome, Maiden, on the path to Womanhood," I said. I touched her with the feathers, saying, "May the air fill your sails and send you soaring."

How could anyone not burst out laughing at this?

mixed metaphor or . . .

Perhaps - like those over the top Sweet 16 parties - the rich ones get the sailboats once their periods arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I got my period, my mom and two much older sisters took me out for a celebratory lunch and let me have a sip of red wine.

Honey, growing up Italian, I was having wine WAY before I got my period.

woo hoo!

[Anonymous]

My mom and dad had a ritual for my family. We had three boys and two girls. When we girls started our periods, the entire family (all of us living in the house) would go on a family lunch to somewhere special. My sister got to go to Schenectady NY and I got to go to Ithaca, NY (we were an upstate family) to go shopping at the Commons and have lunch with my family as a way of celebrating. My family honors women and their ability to have children so menstruation is a big milestone in that pathway to becoming a woman. I remember very clearly the day mine started (I was at a political fundraiser with my parents and they were dancing together on the dance floor when I came out of the bathroom. I told my Mom and both of my parents hugged me and then my Dad danced with me, it's a great memory, actually). I think my family's approach was very healthy and helped me accept the process.