Amy Winehouse has died

[Anonymous]

Amy at age 20 - a little snippet of the person behind the addiction. A young woman loved by family and friends.

http://video.uk.msn.com/watch/video/amy-winehouse-the-early-years/2gmnlii5

[Anonymous]

NP here.

PP, I just wanted to say that I am sorry about your brother, truly. There are one or two people in this area with a heart. Otherwise, most of them are mad at mommy and daddy for either getting too much whatever or thinking they did not get enough whatever. DC isn't what they thought it would be for them, and they are writing back home to podunk as if it is. Ignore them. They are not your problem. They have no class and no manners and think only of themselves. After decades of denial, I have come to admit this.

The reason I am bothering to write this is because I have never seen a bunch of people who claim to be educated act like such a bunch of idiots. They are the most judgmental bunch I have ever seen, to their detriment. Ignore it, PP. They know very little if anything. One word they don't know YET: karma. Be well.

[Anonymous]

The judgemental assholes on here are no surprise to me.
They live in their upper-middle class bubbles where no one takes drugs or does anything deemed "low-class" and "scummy".

Hopefully they never have to deal with addiction or mental problems in their family.

I hope you are at peace now Amy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

She was a criminal. If she was taking, buying, using illegal drugs that makes her a criminal. I do believe she had a record of arrests.

If you read the article posted above you'll see her parents even expected her to succumb to her addiction. I in no way think she had it coming or that it's "good riddance" but I think your a little over the top comparing how you feel regarding your brother versus how Amy's camp felt about her addiction.

We're all allowed to think and feel our own thoughts about these things, we don't have to subscribe to your camp & be diehard supporters of the addicted. Your brother may benefit from some tough love and I mean that in the kindest of ways, it comes from someone who deals with addiction in their family. Also, have you tried Al Anon for yourself?

Again, good luck to you and your brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some ways I also think she got what she asked for.

I don't think Amy Winehouse "asked" to die. If you read this article there's a lot more insight into her addiction, the pain she was going through over a recent breakup from her boyfriend who incidentally split with her because of her addiction, her latest stint in rehab, and how her parents even knew her death was eminent. It's sad when anyone dies but Amy did really die right before our eyes, it was only a matter of time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2018126/Amy-Winehouse-dead-Singer-heartbroken-split-Reg-Traviss.html

To the PP with the addicted brother, I do hope your brother gets better. I understand on so many levels how addiction is a disease, it's so physical with heroin and opiates. You can't really just "quit". There are several people in my family who struggle with pill addictions but unfortunately at this point in the game we've gone tough love on them. We've been used, taken advantage of, they've stolen valuables for money, attacked my grandmother while high, taken my child's medicine for a buzz, taken my meds, fallen asleep in my bathtub while visiting here (with the door locked), been fired from too many jobs too mention, I've paid rent for this one person enough times to pay a year of college for my child. That really only covers a lot of the financial aspect, not how emotionally draining it can be dealing with them. I can't tell you how many times I've called their work only to be told they were at a funeral for a living relative. So we no longer enable them, we respectfully have cut them off. My family and my small children are my priority now. It sounds callous but I can't care for grown people forever. There is only so much you can do for them until they are ready to help themselves and enabling them is the worst thing you can do for them or for yourselves. This is just my personal experience, I am in no way saying it is your experience.

I did find the article above very informative. Her parents expected Amy to pass one day. I think when you're dealing with an addict of that proportion you know that it's possible.

Thank you, PP. Yes, we are well into the tough love stage. It was a journey getting there, one that I think everyone with an addicted relative has to go through for him / herself. We most certainly live with the knowledge that my brother could die any day. I don't think you sound callous at all. There is a big difference between refusing to enable and believing that someone is asking for death or deserves to die, or saying "good riddance." I have no criticism for those, including me, who know that we have to love without enabling, and take care that we protect our own children. Thanks for writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

She was a criminal. If she was taking, buying, using illegal drugs that makes her a criminal. I do believe she had a record of arrests.

If you read the article posted above you'll see her parents even expected her to succumb to her addiction. I in no way think she had it coming or that it's "good riddance" but I think your a little over the top comparing how you feel regarding your brother versus how Amy's camp felt about her addiction.

We're all allowed to think and feel our own thoughts about these things, we don't have to subscribe to your camp & be diehard supporters of the addicted. Your brother may benefit from some tough love and I mean that in the kindest of ways, it comes from someone who deals with addiction in their family. Also, have you tried Al Anon for yourself?

Again, good luck to you and your brother.

What would make you think that I am a "diehard supporter of the addicted" or not using any "tough love" on my brother? I don't believe you truly mean that in the "kindest of ways." You sound as judgmental and rotten as anyone else on this board, though you're at least making an attempt to disguise it.

Here is the thing. Addiction is physical. While each addicted individual arrives at his or her own hell (do you think it is pleasant to be an addict?) in his or her own way, the crime of buying and using illegal substances is a symptom of a disease. These people do need help and support that is beyond what our society is capable of delivering right now. "Tough love" is something I doubt you know much about, at least the "love" part, based on your willingness to tell me that I'm over the top. It doesn't even seem like you really read everything I or others wrote. I did not react to someone saying "it's not appropriate to enable her" or "she needed tough love" nor did I say we should have continued to give her our unswerving support, especially in a resource-intense way. I reacted to those of you saying "good riddance" and "she deserved to die." There's nothing over the top about that, however much you want to kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

She was a criminal. If she was taking, buying, using illegal drugs that makes her a criminal. I do believe she had a record of arrests.

If you read the article posted above you'll see her parents even expected her to succumb to her addiction. I in no way think she had it coming or that it's "good riddance" but I think your a little over the top comparing how you feel regarding your brother versus how Amy's camp felt about her addiction.

We're all allowed to think and feel our own thoughts about these things, we don't have to subscribe to your camp & be diehard supporters of the addicted. Your brother may benefit from some tough love and I mean that in the kindest of ways, it comes from someone who deals with addiction in their family. Also, have you tried Al Anon for yourself?

Again, good luck to you and your brother.

Is this a crime that deserves death? I don;t think the posters that express sympathy are necessarily " diehard supporters" of addicts or members of a particular " camp". They are simply sorry a young person died.

[Anonymous]

12:12 - honestly, the judgmental ones I know are by no way the "bubble" people you mention, but rather the ones who percieve they "have not" comparatively. They are the ones who have something to say, one way or another about those they percieve have more than them (be it money or something else). Consequently, in their mind, since some have more then them, the former "deserved it" - as long as "it" is negative. Look around.

Some of my friends have money and some do not. The ones with money are the most quietly generous I know. Just because they don't give their money to me for my percived "needs" (read: wants) makes them no less. I hold no grudges against them for being successful and earning every last cent of their keep. No one gave them anything.

I don't know Amy W.'s background, but she was very talented. How anyone can say she "deserved it" says more about the one who says so than anything. It is not much different than the crap I hear every day. Sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

She was a criminal. If she was taking, buying, using illegal drugs that makes her a criminal. I do believe she had a record of arrests.

If you read the article posted above you'll see her parents even expected her to succumb to her addiction. I in no way think she had it coming or that it's "good riddance" but I think your a little over the top comparing how you feel regarding your brother versus how Amy's camp felt about her addiction.

We're all allowed to think and feel our own thoughts about these things, we don't have to subscribe to your camp & be diehard supporters of the addicted. Your brother may benefit from some tough love and I mean that in the kindest of ways, it comes from someone who deals with addiction in their family. Also, have you tried Al Anon for yourself?

Again, good luck to you and your brother.

Is this a crime that deserves death? I don;t think the posters that express sympathy are necessarily " diehard supporters" of addicts or members of a particular " camp". They are simply sorry a young person died.

No where in my post did I say she deserved death because she was a criminal, did I? What I did say was if she was purchasing and consuming illegal drugs then she was indeed a criminal, as the previous poster said she was not a criminal. The article does quote her mother & father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

She was a criminal. If she was taking, buying, using illegal drugs that makes her a criminal. I do believe she had a record of arrests.

Is this a crime that deserves death? I don;t think the posters that express sympathy are necessarily " diehard supporters" of addicts or members of a particular " camp". They are simply sorry a young person died.

No where in my post did I say she deserved death because she was a criminal, did I? What I did say was if she was purchasing and consuming illegal drugs then she was indeed a criminal, as the previous poster said she was not a criminal. The article does quote her mother & father.


No where in my post did I say she deserved death because she was a criminal, did I? What I did say was if she was purchasing and consuming illegal drugs then she was indeed a criminal, as the previous poster said she was not a criminal. The article does quote her mother & father.

[Anonymous]

If you want a great and honest portrait of winehouse, Google her rolling stone interview. So sad. She was crazy talented and it's such a waste that's she's gone.

[Anonymous]

Some people act like they don't feel because it's too painful to feel-so they harden their hearts in order to get through the night. Some feel so much they take drugs to numb the pain. And there's a lot of in between. There are a few, a very few, who truly do not feel any empathy for others. I don't think any of them are on DCUM. So as long as we keep feeling, in whatever capacity we do, we remain human.

[Anonymous]

There you go.....Her mom said she knew her daughter was at the end.Really I still can't sympathise with Amy,she had a loving family,Talent,money to make her get more than enough help if she wanted to but she didn't and instead she made a choice to keep the status quo.
Now why should I sympathise with such people!

[Anonymous]

I skipped over the other posts- just wanted to note... What is it about being 27? Joplin, Hendrix, and Jim Morrison all died at 27 as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There you go.....Her mom said she knew her daughter was at the end.Really I still can't sympathise with Amy,she had a loving family,Talent,money to make her get more than enough help if she wanted to but she didn't and instead she made a choice to keep the status quo.
Now why should I sympathise with such people!

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that perhaps the compassion isn't there because you haven't had a parent, child, or sibling with an addiction problem? For some things, you have to be "up close and personal" to truly understand the pain, the 24/7 worry, and the feelings of helplessness as you watch a loved one spiral downwards. IMHO, addiction is one of those things.