Stupid things parents of typically developing kids say...

[Anonymous]

Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"Well you're actually lucky - you missed the hard parts of having to be up all night with a crying baby. All you had to do was pump and go back to sleep" (said when baby was in the NICU for a month after birth).

OMG my SIL said the SAME thing to me!! My jaw dropped when I heard that.

I'm the one who posted this. That comment was my first introduction to the fact that not only was my world changing with the birth of my SN child but that I would have friendships that would not survive this occurrence. Of course I would also find a whole group of amazing new friends through the SN world, but I didn't know that yet.

I am the PP you quoted and I agree 100%! The comment was the beginning of being on a path that was unlike that of so many other parents I tried to relate to. Once we found out path we learned to turn on the "NT (Neurotypical) Filter" when talking to parents of NT kids (how could they know what it feels like to be us?) I genuinely enjoy blunt conversations with friends who have children like mine, it makes me feel like we're so normal!

[Anonymous]

Sorry to derail--I'd really like to print this thread and send it anonymously to my mother--but of course she'd know it's from me! She has said 90% of the things on here to me (except the tube feeding part, so sorry) That's the thing, we hear these things over and over and over throughout the entirety of the kids' childhood. It's soul and relationship deadening. It is part of the reason why I have almost no relationship with my mother. Derail off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard all of the above, but my personal pet peeve is when I am venting about a difficult issue and the person to whom I'm venting says "well everyone's kid does that". Like, everyone really has to straddle their kid and kneel on his hands to get a toothbrush in his mouth.

I have to smile at that one. I used to think that my kid was the only kid in the world who had to be pinned down to brush teeth. Every bath is a torture session. I can't wash his hair without holding him down, while he is screaming. Who can't have his hair cut without a tantrum. I will say that these things are lessening as he is maturing (he's nine). But nobody ever believed me when I would tell them this stuff.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I have three kids, two with SN. ADHD, significant LDs, problems with working memory and exec functioning. Some of their issues are subtle, some are right out there. But they are bright, attractive, and we are a social family, so my friends with NT kids just don't understand the amount of work and patience it takes just to get them dressed in the morning. Or fed (serious sensory issues), or bathed. "Your kids are so bright, and they seem totally fine, why do they need an IEP/Meds/therapy/etc". People just DON'T UNDERSTAND the amount of work that it takes to manage our family life. There are days that I just want to cry. And days that I do. But mostly I try to stay positive and remember their gifts and the love they freely share within our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

I'm a parent of (supposedly) NT children but I do read this forum. What I have gained from this thread is that I will only talk about the weather with parents of Special Needs children. I won't talk about my children nor ask about theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

I'm a parent of (supposedly) NT children but I do read this forum. What I have gained from this thread is that I will only talk about the weather with parents of Special Needs children. I won't talk about my children nor ask about theirs.

I agree. I started the thread, "My Toddler is annoying!!! On the GP board which got partially hijacked into an attack on SNs by a SN parent. While my child is also (supposedly) NT, I was a SN child and the bitterness and anger shown on this thread is one of the reasons I don't have much of a relationship with my parents as an adult. Thank God my SN was such that I could get away.

[Anonymous]

"He isn't talking yet because his older sisters talk for him," "Pretty soon he will start talking and then you'll be complaining about that" My son is three and has never asked me a question. No "where is daddy" or "where is doggy" he has never had a conversation with me. I am pursuing therapy for him finally after being told that I was just used to having very bright kids and that he was just normal. Ugh! My others are normal but my little one never makes eye contact with me. How can these idiots stand there and tell me not to worry?

[Anonymous]

You're giving her medication? I heard they can cure that with a special diet now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

I'm a parent of (supposedly) NT children but I do read this forum. What I have gained from this thread is that I will only talk about the weather with parents of Special Needs children. I won't talk about my children nor ask about theirs.

You come on what is clearly a vent thread, face a boatload of vents, and decide that we have no positive feelings at all toward the neurotypical world? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

I'm a parent of (supposedly) NT children but I do read this forum. What I have gained from this thread is that I will only talk about the weather with parents of Special Needs children. I won't talk about my children nor ask about theirs.

I agree. I started the thread, "My Toddler is annoying!!! On the GP board which got partially hijacked into an attack on SNs by a SN parent. While my child is also (supposedly) NT, I was a SN child and the bitterness and anger shown on this thread is one of the reasons I don't have much of a relationship with my parents as an adult. Thank God my SN was such that I could get away.

That's funny, because I and several other special needs parents posted in support of you. Apparently you missed our posts.

Now, after the experience you had with your own thread, it seems you are "paying it back" in this forum. Yes, there is bitterness and anger in this thread -- because it is a "vent thread" -- were you expecting sunshine and lollipops in a vent thread? I just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those off us who have SN really really don't have the responsibility to school the rest of you. I have made some suggestions on this thread but reading the defensive and pissy responses from some parents of typically developing kids just makes me regret even trying to help. Get a clue, but don't depend on us to get it for you.

I'm a parent of (supposedly) NT children but I do read this forum. What I have gained from this thread is that I will only talk about the weather with parents of Special Needs children. I won't talk about my children nor ask about theirs.

I agree. I started the thread, "My Toddler is annoying!!! On the GP board which got partially hijacked into an attack on SNs by a SN parent. While my child is also (supposedly) NT, I was a SN child and the bitterness and anger shown on this thread is one of the reasons I don't have much of a relationship with my parents as an adult. Thank God my SN was such that I could get away.

Wow, these are very strange and uncharitable posts. Several people, myself included, answered the "what SHOULD we say?" posts earnestly, totally accepting the good-intentions even though it wasn't the point of the thread. Look, I don't mind "educating" a little if I am asked to but why would you expect everyone to? Some people would like to assume tolerance and respect and empathy and feel that it is not their lot in life, on top of everything else they have to do, to teach them. As for the vents themselves, all I can say is that I guess you just can't relate... but you must understand what venting is and the purpose it serves no? Don't you people have anything better to do than look for ways to be offended??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"help! my three year old is annoying! Can't stop talking and asking why everything!"

Just because we have typically developing kids does not mean we aren't allowed to vent about their annoyances, sheesh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"help! my three year old is annoying! Can't stop talking and asking why everything!"

Just because we have typically developing kids does not mean we aren't allowed to vent about their annoyances, sheesh

Of course you are allowed to vent. I have an NT child as well. But this is a thread for those of us with SN to vent. Several parents of NT kids came on and asked "what should we say?" Fine. Some of us answered. Only to be met with -- what took you so long? What about my needs? Enough. if you don't get it, you don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"help! my three year old is annoying! Can't stop talking and asking why everything!"

Just because we have typically developing kids does not mean we aren't allowed to vent about their annoyances, sheesh

Isn't DCUM an ENTIRE BOARD OF POSTS for venting about typically developing kids? I just don't understand...is there not, in fact, an entire internet of websites for you to discuss, vent, chat, get together, to talk about your typically developing kids? Who in the hell is preventing you from talking about your typically developing kids????