are you baptizing your DC even if you're not "religious"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

Well, he never asked, so yes, my honesty extended to that. I attended the class as required, showed up to Mass, brought my baby up to be baptized, and my Mom was happy, which was my goal.

Ok, so you lied by omission.
It's sad that you can't just be honest with your mom about who you are. I'm sure she'd ultimately like to know the real you, rather than what you think she wants you to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it came down to being hypocritical at a chuch on one day, or breaking my Mom's heart. Sorry, Mom is going to win on that one.

I find this argument esp. interesting considering that 90% of "practicing" Catholics I know don't actually follow the laws of the Church (weekly Mass, regular confession, fasting, etc.) and yet they would accuse me of being hypocritical. At least I'm honest about what I'm doing.

Your mother doesn't matter but being a hypocrite in the eyes of God matters a great deal. It doesn't matter if you profess to be an atheist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of a silly question (although I think I do understand the root of it) b/c it really doesn't matter whether you baptize or not if you don't believe in the baptism. Meaning....once you get past the baptism day, say 5, 10, 15, 20 years later, if you are not going to church, doing any sort of religious ed, or practcing at home in any sort of way (e.g., prayer, etc.), what does it matter that you had a ceremony 20 years ago? It is afterall only one day in an infant (or toddlers) life. More often than not I think the real issue/driver is just the parents trying to come to terms with their own issues around faith (or lack there of), and springing off that, how to please their parents and in-laws.

It matters because baptizing an infant entails making promises to the church to raise that child in the church. The rite in some churches includes details about teaching him specifics (e.g. in the Lutheran church one of the promises is to place a Bible in his hands, to teach him about Luther's catechism, etc.).

If a parent is *knowingly* lying about this to the church, while baptizing the child "to please the grandparents," it is an offense to the church and its members. It is deceitful.

If a parent truly believes that this is ok to do, s/he should be 100% honest about it with the priest, and see what he says. Chances are, he won't agree to baptize that child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

Well, he never asked, so yes, my honesty extended to that. I attended the class as required, showed up to Mass, brought my baby up to be baptized, and my Mom was happy, which was my goal.

This is a lie by omission.

What promises did you make during the baptism ceremony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

Well, he never asked, so yes, my honesty extended to that. I attended the class as required, showed up to Mass, brought my baby up to be baptized, and my Mom was happy, which was my goal.

This is a lie by omission.

I'm not the PP, but Jesus Christ. Back the fuck off. Why the hell do you care?
What promises did you make during the baptism ceremony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raised Catholic, non-practicing today, but believe in God. DH was raised Baptist, but same scenario otherwise. We did not baptize. Somehow the idea that our children were born sinners and would not go to Heaven unless baptized did not sit well with us. So we're taking our chances and hope that wherever we end up we'll be together.

I am Presbyterian and Protestants do not believe that children are born with original sin. So much for your husband being Baptist if he doesn't even know this.

Didn't say DH was Baptist, just that he was raised one. And I was referring to Catholic dogma, not Protestant.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I weren't baptized. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that we're Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

Well, he never asked, so yes, my honesty extended to that. I attended the class as required, showed up to Mass, brought my baby up to be baptized, and my Mom was happy, which was my goal.

Ok, so you lied by omission.
It's sad that you can't just be honest with your mom about who you are. I'm sure she'd ultimately like to know the real you, rather than what you think she wants you to be.

Perhaps you should learn to read better. I said that my Mom is well aware that I don't go to church and no longer consider myself Catholic, so she does know the "real me." This is about her grandchildren and her belief, as she was taught, that children must be baptized in order to go to heaven. It doesn't matter what you or anyone else believes, this is what she believes and therefore it would be devastating to her if her grandshild was not baptized.

And seriously, as the other poster said, why the hell do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it came down to being hypocritical at a chuch on one day, or breaking my Mom's heart. Sorry, Mom is going to win on that one.

I find this argument esp. interesting considering that 90% of "practicing" Catholics I know don't actually follow the laws of the Church (weekly Mass, regular confession, fasting, etc.) and yet they would accuse me of being hypocritical. At least I'm honest about what I'm doing.

Your mother doesn't matter but being a hypocrite in the eyes of God matters a great deal. It doesn't matter if you profess to be an atheist.

Totally confused by this point. My mother does matter, and if I am an atheist, then I don't believe in the "eyes of God" and therefore I am not a hypocrite in anyway.

[Anonymous]

Geez, will the religious zealots just stop now and go pray for the souls of the rest of us?

OP-- back to your original question.... Clearly many people who do not practice a religion still baptize their children, for many different reasons-- cultural, family harmony, desire to get back into religion, etc. This is a personal decision and you should do what feels right to you. The nature of anyone's spirituality is provate and cannot be judged by anyone else. Good luck with your decision-making process!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"As another aside, I do always wonder why people who don't go to church or pray before dinner or whatever suddenly feel the need to do these things once they have kids. Are they hoping to raise kids who do these things until they are out of the house, only to quit and then start again when they have their own kids? "

My brother has done exactly this! Strange to me since we rarely went to church as kids yet now, my SIL has those kids at church twice a week.
And they don't just pray before dinner, its before every meal. It gets old fast.

[Anonymous]

Those of you criticizing the choices of others give religion a bad name. Why don't you consider using religion as a path to your own enlightenment and spirituality and the betterment of your community and NOT take a holier-than-thou attitude with your virtual neighbors.

OP--do what is right for your family and what makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"As another aside, I do always wonder why people who don't go to church or pray before dinner or whatever suddenly feel the need to do these things once they have kids. Are they hoping to raise kids who do these things until they are out of the house, only to quit and then start again when they have their own kids? "

Obviously, yes.

They are settling into a mature or family mode.

I enjoyed planning the baptisms, small parties ofr the babies. Slipped away from the Catholic Church and now the children ID as Episopalian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"As another aside, I do always wonder why people who don't go to church or pray before dinner or whatever suddenly feel the need to do these things once they have kids. Are they hoping to raise kids who do these things until they are out of the house, only to quit and then start again when they have their own kids? "

Obviously, yes.

They are settling into a mature or family mode.

I enjoyed planning the baptisms, small parties ofr the babies. Slipped away from the Catholic Church and now the children ID as Episopalian.

Yes. They are giving their kids the tools to cope with life's difficulties, and some context for mourning. I stayed away from the Catholic Church for years, but when my dad died, wow was it comforting. It was like a scaffolding that held my grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you criticizing the choices of others give religion a bad name. Why don't you consider using religion as a path to your own enlightenment and spirituality and the betterment of your community and NOT take a holier-than-thou attitude with your virtual neighbors.

OP--do what is right for your family and what makes you happy.

AMEN!