are you baptizing your DC even if you're not "religious"?

[Anonymous]

No. DH and I were both raised Catholic but are not religious now. Neither family was offended. As an aside, I consider myself a skeptic rather than an atheist, because I think it's the least arrogant of all belief systems. After all, there's no proof of anything, so who am I to say there's no God?

As another aside, I do always wonder why people who don't go to church or pray before dinner or whatever suddenly feel the need to do these things once they have kids. Are they hoping to raise kids who do these things until they are out of the house, only to quit and then start again when they have their own kids?

[Anonymous]

No. I agree with 11:06. It seems hypocritical and articificial to baptize a baby that you have zero intention of taking to church or raising in a particular faith.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I don't care what a bunch of random strangers think of my decision. I care what my Mom thinks, and for her it was extremely important that her grandchildren be baptized in her faith. That is the reason we did it.

[Anonymous]

"As another aside, I do always wonder why people who don't go to church or pray before dinner or whatever suddenly feel the need to do these things once they have kids. Are they hoping to raise kids who do these things until they are out of the house, only to quit and then start again when they have their own kids? "

Obviously, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought baptizing a child in a church includes your inherent promise to raise your kid in that church or at least in that religion.

This is correct so I do not understand christening or baptizing your child if you have no religious belief unless you are hedging your bets. Smacks of blasphemy. You cannot be spiritual unless you have an underlying belief in a power higher than yourself.

[Anonymous]

My parents were not religious and I was never baptized. It always bothered me. Not because I'm religious but for some reason. So, I baptized my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were both raised in the church - Catholic & Episcopalian. We are both atheists now but don't want to disappoint our families by telling them that, so we had both kids baptized.

This takes the cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic but do no practice, and my husband wasn't raised in any religion. My parents are fully aware of my beliefs, but we chose to baptize my daughter because we knew it would make them happy. We chose as godparents good friends of ours who are practicing Methodists. We felt that if we were going to go through the process, it was important to choose godparents who actually practiced their faith, even if it wasn't Catholic. And to be honest, I don't know of any Catholics (other than my parents) who I actually consider practicing Catholics (i.e., mass every week, confession, etc.) so these Methodists were our best option!

I feel totally comfortable with our decision because we were honest with our family about why we were doing it, and if our daughter wants to learn more about religion, she now has a great set of godparents to guide her.

Did your "honesty" extend to telling the priest who did the baptism that you aren't religious? What was his reaction?

Well, he never asked, so yes, my honesty extended to that. I attended the class as required, showed up to Mass, brought my baby up to be baptized, and my Mom was happy, which was my goal.

[Anonymous]

This is kind of a silly question (although I think I do understand the root of it) b/c it really doesn't matter whether you baptize or not if you don't believe in the baptism. Meaning....once you get past the baptism day, say 5, 10, 15, 20 years later, if you are not going to church, doing any sort of religious ed, or practcing at home in any sort of way (e.g., prayer, etc.), what does it matter that you had a ceremony 20 years ago? It is afterall only one day in an infant (or toddlers) life. More often than not I think the real issue/driver is just the parents trying to come to terms with their own issues around faith (or lack there of), and springing off that, how to please their parents and in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Raised Catholic, non-practicing today, but believe in God. DH was raised Baptist, but same scenario otherwise. We did not baptize. Somehow the idea that our children were born sinners and would not go to Heaven unless baptized did not sit well with us. So we're taking our chances and hope that wherever we end up we'll be together.

[Anonymous]

it really doesn't matter whether you baptize or not if you don't believe in the baptism

We don't, but it mattered to our parents and in-laws, so we did it. My dad, MIL and FIL have devoted huge chunks of their lives to the church. I really didn't feel like breaking their hearts and telling them we didn't believe.

I really don't know how PPs above don't understand this and/or think it's so horrible. Just because I don't believe, I'm supposed to shout that from the rooftops at all times and never darken the door of a church again, even though many events important to my family happen there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. It seemed almost a mockery to us when we were considering it for family's sake.

this was our thought also. We're an interfaith couple too FWIW.

[Anonymous]

For me, it came down to being hypocritical at a chuch on one day, or breaking my Mom's heart. Sorry, Mom is going to win on that one.

I find this argument esp. interesting considering that 90% of "practicing" Catholics I know don't actually follow the laws of the Church (weekly Mass, regular confession, fasting, etc.) and yet they would accuse me of being hypocritical. At least I'm honest about what I'm doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raised Catholic, non-practicing today, but believe in God. DH was raised Baptist, but same scenario otherwise. We did not baptize. Somehow the idea that our children were born sinners and would not go to Heaven unless baptized did not sit well with us. So we're taking our chances and hope that wherever we end up we'll be together.

I am Presbyterian and Protestants do not believe that children are born with original sin. So much for your husband being Baptist if he doesn't even know this.