Multiracial in America

[Anonymous]

So many great comments and thanks to the OP for posting the link.
I'm a non-US black and my DH is white, and so our son is a beautiful mix of us (and so will our next addition coming in Nov ;o)
1) I love family-of-the-future name for a forum. I would defnintely check it out.
2) Definitely had nasty looks and comments in this country, and sadly enough the negative comments were mostly fromt he african american community for which i wasn't talking black enough, dressing black enough, living black enough, or being black enough (whatever that means in this whole wide world...)
3) Silver Spring rocks!!! I am just so amazed at the diversity here. People actually try to live together and welcome it (at least that's my experience). My 2.5 DS is at the YMCA daycare, and in his room there are 3 mixed black-white kids, two latinos, and one asian child. It's like the mini-UN summit. I love it!
4) I agree that teaching our children about being open starts with ourselves. If we only interact with people our own hue than we're not teaching by example. So no, your black (or white, or whatever other ethnicity) colleague is not your best friend, unless you're on the phone with her all the time and your families interact socially. (see comment from first family on documentary).
5) I'm sorry for the people in the South, and this just shows that everybody must learn to be more open and inclusive, including myself, but I had such a bad experience going down to North Carolina on the bible-belt, that as far as I'm concerned, the South start right after Alexandria!

[Anonymous]

14:30 -- great post. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I find it interesting that you have gotten the most slack from the African-American community. I guess there is probably a fear of losing their identity? What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:30 -- great post. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I find it interesting that you have gotten the most slack from the African-American community. I guess there is probably a fear of losing their identity? What do you think?

It might be part of it, but I also think that, fundamentally, it's not accepting difference. I'm black, therefore I should be and behave a certain way.

[Anonymous]

So, what about it Jeff? What will it take to create a separate forum called Families of the Future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:30 -- great post. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I find it interesting that you have gotten the most slack from the African-American community. I guess there is probably a fear of losing their identity? What do you think?

It might be part of it, but I also think that, fundamentally, it's not accepting difference. I'm black, therefore I should be and behave a certain way.

I'm white, so I'm not authoritative on this, but I know that one resentment native born Blacks have is that US whites have been more accepting towards foreign born Blacks than native born. I'll never forget sitting in a workshop at a sociology conference some years ago where a young native born Black PhD student argued that the moment an international Black PhD student opened her mouth, that white people would trust her more. That may be changing with the increase in immigration from African nations and the Caribbean -- dominant racial and ethnic groups of any hue feel more threatened by a flood of foreigners than a handful -- but I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of prejudice continues somewhat. Not saying it's okay, just saying that I think that is one issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:30 -- great post. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I find it interesting that you have gotten the most slack from the African-American community. I guess there is probably a fear of losing their identity? What do you think?

It might be part of it, but I also think that, fundamentally, it's not accepting difference. I'm black, therefore I should be and behave a certain way.

I'm white, so I'm not authoritative on this, but I know that one resentment native born Blacks have is that US whites have been more accepting towards foreign born Blacks than native born. I'll never forget sitting in a workshop at a sociology conference some years ago where a young native born Black PhD student argued that the moment an international Black PhD student opened her mouth, that white people would trust her more. That may be changing with the increase in immigration from African nations and the Caribbean -- dominant racial and ethnic groups of any hue feel more threatened by a flood of foreigners than a handful -- but I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of prejudice continues somewhat. Not saying it's okay, just saying that I think that is one issue.

The prejudice never stopped. The prejudice is just transferred to another new cultural or immigrant group, in the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:30 -- great post. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I find it interesting that you have gotten the most slack from the African-American community. I guess there is probably a fear of losing their identity? What do you think?

It might be part of it, but I also think that, fundamentally, it's not accepting difference. I'm black, therefore I should be and behave a certain way.

I'm white, so I'm not authoritative on this, but I know that one resentment native born Blacks have is that US whites have been more accepting towards foreign born Blacks than native born. I'll never forget sitting in a workshop at a sociology conference some years ago where a young native born Black PhD student argued that the moment an international Black PhD student opened her mouth, that white people would trust her more. That may be changing with the increase in immigration from African nations and the Caribbean -- dominant racial and ethnic groups of any hue feel more threatened by a flood of foreigners than a handful -- but I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of prejudice continues somewhat. Not saying it's okay, just saying that I think that is one issue.

The prejudice never stopped. The prejudice is just transferred to another new cultural or immigrant group, in the next generation.

pp poster here -- I agree with you about that. But I was trying to explain why native born Blacks might be antagonistic to Black immigrants -- because of the perception that white people trust immigrants more than native borns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of 2 white-as-can-be young children, what can I do to make children of all hues feel confident? Obviously, I do the basic things like explain to my children that people come in all colors, but what else?

for parents committed to raising children with anti-racist outlook ... I thought this might be of interest to you.

http://www.antiracistparent.com/

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

for parents committed to raising children with anti-racist outlook ... I thought this might be of interest to you.

http://www.antiracistparent.com/

Jason, one of the bloggers at antiracistparent, and I were just on Michel Martin's NPR show, "Tell Me More". If you are interested, you can listen here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91347468

Jason and Keith (who blogs about being an African American dad) made a number of points touched on in this thread.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal about race in America. Educational and informative about some of the history of race in the US:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121322793544566177.html?mod=ONLX

[Anonymous]

To the poster who mentioned that it seemed strange that one would get more flack from African-Americans, there was an interesting piece in the OpEd section of the Washington Post today, titled Let Love Rule: What Mildred Knew, that mentioned this. Today is the anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia case and this was the impetus for the piece. I almost felt like I could have written it myself. I am a black-American with a bi-racial child and while I have gotten looks (disapproving, curious looks, who knows) from whites, I have definitely gotten very disapproving looks and negative comments from blacks (comments ranging from "tsk tsk, ain't that a shame" to "you can always come home sister"). Today I was pondering why this is and it occurred to me that maybe there is a mentality among blacks that the black community is one big family and if one person steps out of line, then it's considered okay to verbally criticize or chastise them. I don't know. Anyway, here's the link to that article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/11/AR2008061103171.html

By the way, I don't really like the term "Families of the Future" because it excludes non multi-racial/cultural families (all white, all hispanic, all black, etc)--and I certainly don't want these kinds of families to disappear--when I don't think that is the impression that we want to give. I prefer to stick to Multi-racial or Multi-cultural Families--or something more clever sounding that is that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
By the way, I don't really like the term "Families of the Future" because it excludes non multi-racial/cultural families (all white, all hispanic, all black, etc)--and I certainly don't want these kinds of families to disappear--when I don't think that is the impression that we want to give. I prefer to stick to Multi-racial or Multi-cultural Families--or something more clever sounding that is that simple.

How about "Multicultural Kaleidoscope" for a forum name? In order for a separate forum, there needs to be feedback from the DCUM-ers who are interested, otherwise, there won't be one.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, 15:26 poster here again. I also wanted to respond to the posters who tried to explain why native born blacks might be more antagonistic to immigrants--stating that native born blacks might resent Africans because they are perceived to be trusted more by whites. I have to say that I have never heard of this. Though this is an interesting thought that probably deserves some study, I have to disagree based on my experiences and perceptions. I think that the original poster (African?) was right in thinking that it is because other blacks expect her to talk and act in a certain way that is just not her. I am a black woman who grew up in a mostly white environment in a small town, and I often received comments or heard people characterize me as "acting white" or "talking white", i.e. not being black enough. Of course that hurt because I was just being me, the only way I knew how to be. I use this example to back up why the one poster thought she was treated that way by other native black Americans. It is just something that we face in the black community, which is not a homogeneous community. And unfortunately, our bi-racial children could likely be exposed to this as well, if they look bi-racial. However, I can only speak for black/white bi-racial children. I can't speak for experiences of other multi-racial families. In any case, this is why I will do my best to instill in my DS a strong sense of self-identity. And will try my best to be an open and inclusive family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
By the way, I don't really like the term "Families of the Future" because it excludes non multi-racial/cultural families (all white, all hispanic, all black, etc)--and I certainly don't want these kinds of families to disappear--when I don't think that is the impression that we want to give. I prefer to stick to Multi-racial or Multi-cultural Families--or something more clever sounding that is that simple.

How about "Multicultural Kaleidoscope" for a forum name? In order for a separate forum, there needs to be feedback from the DCUM-ers who are interested, otherwise, there won't be one.

That's cool. Multicultural Kaleidoscope. I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, 15:26 poster here again. I also wanted to respond to the posters who tried to explain why native born blacks might be more antagonistic to immigrants--stating that native born blacks might resent Africans because they are perceived to be trusted more by whites. I have to say that I have never heard of this. Though this is an interesting thought that probably deserves some study, I have to disagree based on my experiences and perceptions. I think that the original poster (African?) was right in thinking that it is because other blacks expect her to talk and act in a certain way that is just not her. I am a black woman who grew up in a mostly white environment in a small town, and I often received comments or heard people characterize me as "acting white" or "talking white", i.e. not being black enough. Of course that hurt because I was just being me, the only way I knew how to be. I use this example to back up why the one poster thought she was treated that way by other native black Americans. It is just something that we face in the black community, which is not a homogeneous community. And unfortunately, our bi-racial children could likely be exposed to this as well, if they look bi-racial. However, I can only speak for black/white bi-racial children. I can't speak for experiences of other multi-racial families. In any case, this is why I will do my best to instill in my DS a strong sense of self-identity. And will try my best to be an open and inclusive family.

I was the pp that this post refers to. After this post above, I wondered if my perceptions were dated so I, what else, googled a bit. Found a thoughtful piece on relations between native born Blacks and immigrant Blacks which looks at a number of themes people have raised here. Some posters might find it interesting. Here's the URL: http://halleyjc.blog.lemonde.fr/2006/12/23/african-american-the-term-a-brief-history/