If you could financially quit your job, would you?

[Anonymous]

If I was in your situation I likely would, because then I'd be in my mid-40s. However, my kids are a bit younger, and I just turned 40. I feel like I can put in another 5 years at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I also teach a class in my field at a community college twice a week and I'd keep that because I love teaching. Perhaps I'd add another section and work on a book.

I do like having an income and I think going to a job and having professional commitments is good for mental health and social connectivity. That's actually what I dislike most about working from home. I actually like a lot of my work well enough, but I feel so isolated and disconnected.

Oh, that changes everything if you don't like WFH (I just posted above saying this was a good setup; I thought you were afraid to lose this benefit). You still have a career and can keep your resume fresh with the teaching, so if you don't need the money and don't mind taking an in-office job when the kids are launched, quitting isn't that big of a risk.

Working full time, raising kids, and teaching at night is a lot if you don't even need the money!

OP here. I was not the person to post about teaching a class but I do share the feeling of isolation from WFH. part of the reason I want to quit is to have the opportunity to get out and meet more people by doing things like tennis, golf, etc.

Is your DH going to resent you quitting your job to play tennis with your new friends? I feel like if I was stuck working a job and my husband said "I don't want to miss out on the last years the kids are in the house" and I said I'd shoulder the finances and then he used his newfound time off to take up golfing I would be pretty bothered.

Not every DH out there wants his DW to have just as hard of a life as he does. There are plenty of DHs out there who take pleasure in their life being happy and not having to work.

[Anonymous]

In your case, no. I’d simply take more leave. Even unpaid.

I’m in a similar position and plan to fully retire when my mom passes. I will inherit around $3 million which is enough for me to live off (with my retirement) should my DH leave me or some sort of emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. YOU do not have enough money to quit your job. You are a dependent.

That’s an odd way to see a marriage. We treat ours like a partnership. I take care of the home and he works for now. There was a time it was reversed but no one ever feels like a dependent.

+1 not everyone has a toxic marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. YOU do not have enough money to quit your job. You are a dependent.

That’s an odd way to see a marriage. We treat ours like a partnership. I take care of the home and he works for now. There was a time it was reversed but no one ever feels like a dependent.

If the OP cannot support herself financially without her husband, she is essentially his dependent.

That is such a weird and depressing view of marriage. I feel bad for you.

One of the great joys of marriage is having a partner that you support and they support you. We aren't dependent on each other. Our finances are joint. We both care about the bottom line and about each other. We arent competing.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I was laid off a few months ago and I don't think I'm going back. We're fine without my salary. I may do something contract/part time but I have no desire to go back into a corporate setting. The job market is not good and I don't feel like starting over again with co-workers young enough to be my children. I've been working since I was 15 and I'm done.

[Anonymous]

I would quit, but also think about what you want to do next. If it's something that requires another degree or certification, this might be a good time to get it. During the school year, you could fit in a course or two each semester while the kids are in school - and be all set to start something new by the time your youngest graduates high school.

Alternatively try to go part-time at your current job or do some sort of consulting. If you're hoping to jump back into the workforce when your kids graduate, I wouldn't just quit cold-turkey, but rather figure out a way to stay in the game, even just a little bit.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently facing this dilemma. DH makes enough that we can comfortably live without my salary. I have a fairly flexible job - only 1 day in office per week but I need to be at my computer most of the day. We have two kids 15 and 12 who I am constantly shuttling around and I do almost all of the housework - cooking, laundry, driving to school and activities. I would like to spend the last few years that my kids are at home spending time with them and having the flexibility to travel, take them on adventures, etc. However, I worry that I will regret leaving my job once they go to college. I don't particularly find my job fulfilling but it does make some extra money and gives me something to do. Any thoughts on what you would do in my situation. I understand I'm fortunate to have this choice

Reading your post, this is not about money (which most people here are focused on) but about direction and purpose.

I would probably try a few things. First, if you are not in therapy maybe it's time to start, as a way to map out what you want for the next X decades. Or do it on your own, but dedicate time to it, through a guided process (coaching, journaling, whatever). The issue is that you are not feeling attached to what you do, and there is no longer much of a financial impetus to keep doing it, but you do not have a vision for what you want to do next or even how you really want to spend the next few years.

Second, as you try to work through your vision of what's next, use some of the money you are earning to outsource what you can--definitely laundry, tidying and probably a lot of the cooking if you hire a competent housekeeper. Or, reduce your hours at work, so that you have more free time, and take that time with the kids to travel, etc. If you can't reduce hours on a weekly basis, can you take more leave (paid or unpaid) for longer trips?

Third, sit with this for a while. Also know that no choice is totally irrevocable forever. You can leave your job now, spend a couple years with the kids home and figuring stuff out and return to the work force in some capacity later. You may not recover the level of professional/financial success you have now, but it doesn't sound like that's necessary in the future.

I can somewhat relate because we finally have enough financial security that I could probably leave my job, but I have also spent a lot of time getting to where I am (like one of the previous posters, it required a phd, several moves, and just a lot of work) and am in the middle of a multi-year project, after which I could retire. At the same time, I'm tired now and not spending a lot of time with the kids and knowing I have some financial flexibility it does make it hard at times. I also need something else to do but I haven't figured that out yet so am starting to think about what has been missing from my life, what I would like to do. Yes, travel, but thats not day to day. I also need to figure out purpose and putting my skills to use and building a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm currently facing this dilemma. DH makes enough that we can comfortably live without my salary. I have a fairly flexible job - only 1 day in office per week but I need to be at my computer most of the day. We have two kids 15 and 12 who I am constantly shuttling around and I do almost all of the housework - cooking, laundry, driving to school and activities. I would like to spend the last few years that my kids are at home spending time with them and having the flexibility to travel, take them on adventures, etc. However, I worry that I will regret leaving my job once they go to college. I don't particularly find my job fulfilling but it does make some extra money and gives me something to do. Any thoughts on what you would do in my situation. I understand I'm fortunate to have this choice

Reading your post, this is not about money (which most people here are focused on) but about direction and purpose.

I would probably try a few things. First, if you are not in therapy maybe it's time to start, as a way to map out what you want for the next X decades. Or do it on your own, but dedicate time to it, through a guided process (coaching, journaling, whatever). The issue is that you are not feeling attached to what you do, and there is no longer much of a financial impetus to keep doing it, but you do not have a vision for what you want to do next or even how you really want to spend the next few years.

Second, as you try to work through your vision of what's next, use some of the money you are earning to outsource what you can--definitely laundry, tidying and probably a lot of the cooking if you hire a competent housekeeper. Or, reduce your hours at work, so that you have more free time, and take that time with the kids to travel, etc. If you can't reduce hours on a weekly basis, can you take more leave (paid or unpaid) for longer trips?

Third, sit with this for a while. Also know that no choice is totally irrevocable forever. You can leave your job now, spend a couple years with the kids home and figuring stuff out and return to the work force in some capacity later. You may not recover the level of professional/financial success you have now, but it doesn't sound like that's necessary in the future.

I can somewhat relate because we finally have enough financial security that I could probably leave my job, but I have also spent a lot of time getting to where I am (like one of the previous posters, it required a phd, several moves, and just a lot of work) and am in the middle of a multi-year project, after which I could retire. At the same time, I'm tired now and not spending a lot of time with the kids and knowing I have some financial flexibility it does make it hard at times. I also need something else to do but I haven't figured that out yet so am starting to think about what has been missing from my life, what I would like to do. Yes, travel, but thats not day to day. I also need to figure out purpose and putting my skills to use and building a community.

OP here, Thank you for this response. It was very helpful and you nailed my situation in the first paragraph. You gave me a lot of good things to work through and think about!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:200%

300%

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would love to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would, and I did — at 37!

Same at 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I also teach a class in my field at a community college twice a week and I'd keep that because I love teaching. Perhaps I'd add another section and work on a book.

I do like having an income and I think going to a job and having professional commitments is good for mental health and social connectivity. That's actually what I dislike most about working from home. I actually like a lot of my work well enough, but I feel so isolated and disconnected.

Oh, that changes everything if you don't like WFH (I just posted above saying this was a good setup; I thought you were afraid to lose this benefit). You still have a career and can keep your resume fresh with the teaching, so if you don't need the money and don't mind taking an in-office job when the kids are launched, quitting isn't that big of a risk.

Working full time, raising kids, and teaching at night is a lot if you don't even need the money!

OP here. I was not the person to post about teaching a class but I do share the feeling of isolation from WFH. part of the reason I want to quit is to have the opportunity to get out and meet more people by doing things like tennis, golf, etc.

Is your DH going to resent you quitting your job to play tennis with your new friends? I feel like if I was stuck working a job and my husband said "I don't want to miss out on the last years the kids are in the house" and I said I'd shoulder the finances and then he used his newfound time off to take up golfing I would be pretty bothered.

Actually, DH is encouraging me to quit. He sees that I'm feeling isolated and unhappy and wants me to pursue my interests. He recognizes the burden I've had of years of working full time and shouldering the household tasks.

But he didn't think it was necessary for him to help you with that burden by doing more himself.

I agree with the previous poster who said don't quit unless you can support yourself.

[Anonymous]

I recently took an exit package at my job. Three kids. Husband makes enough that it’s not crazy, but obviously my income (around 200k) is a loss. Most of it went to taxes, benefits, retirement savings, and childcare costs, but in a few years, our childcare needs would have changed anyway.

All I can say is that right now I’m a lot happier two of my kids were sick at and at the doctor today, and it was a relief to be able to take them without explaining it to work. It’s a relief to spend time with them between school ending and summer starting. My oldest is on the spectrum and it was a relief this week when I had to spend hours on the phone with doctors and pharmacies coordinating medication issues.

I keep wondering if I’ll regret it financially but my husband does decently well and we both come from well off families. I’ve saved diligently for a long time and worked as long as it made sense flexibility wise.

Right now I’m just focusing on getting structure into place for myself

[Anonymous]

No. We paid off our mortgage in 2011 and our kids are out of college. My DH retired but I continue to work. A couple more years, I have a definite end point in mind that makes sense for me and my employer.