All DDs friends (age 14-15) say they are going to Ivies

[Anonymous]

+1


3-4 years is a long time and the kids change ALOT during this period

[Anonymous]

My 14YO wants to go to the ivy that I went to. When she says that I just tell her study hard - its way more competitive now that it was back in my day. We'll see where she's at in a few years. In reality she's not as strong a student as I was so I don't expect it will be a realistic option for her. Which is totally fine, she's not getting pressure from me to go there.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:the only reason this is a problem is if helicopter parents and Daddyball types are brainwashing the kids with their own dreams "I'm going to be in the MLB. I'm going to an Ivy League school" rather than it being a kid dreaming about kid things.

Huh? I don't think you can equate "I'm going to be in MLB" with "I'm going to an Ivy League school". Also, sound like these kids are in 8th or 9th grade. If your goal is an Ivy, not a bad time to start thinking about how you're going to get there.

Why not? Kids talk about their dreams all the time. What's the difference?

You think getting into an Ivy League school is as "lofty" a dream as getting onto a major league sports team? I don't think they compare. Plenty of kids get into Ivy League schools every year - it's not impossible. How many kids get drafted? I'm an Ivy grad (Penn, so not HYP) and no one thought I was reaching for the stars when I said I wanted to go there.

Haverford Yeshiva Penn

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:the only reason this is a problem is if helicopter parents and Daddyball types are brainwashing the kids with their own dreams "I'm going to be in the MLB. I'm going to an Ivy League school" rather than it being a kid dreaming about kid things.

Huh? I don't think you can equate "I'm going to be in MLB" with "I'm going to an Ivy League school". Also, sound like these kids are in 8th or 9th grade. If your goal is an Ivy, not a bad time to start thinking about how you're going to get there.

Why not? Kids talk about their dreams all the time. What's the difference?

You think getting into an Ivy League school is as "lofty" a dream as getting onto a major league sports team? I don't think they compare. Plenty of kids get into Ivy League schools every year - it's not impossible. How many kids get drafted? I'm an Ivy grad (Penn, so not HYP) and no one thought I was reaching for the stars when I said I wanted to go there.

You are an Ivy grad, and you should know that really isn't the point, right? Kids dream, heck, we all dream and there is nothing wrong with that.

But dreaming to go to the MLB is like dreaming you win the powerball…there is a chance but it’s likely you don’t personally no anybody playing in the MLB while I am sure this kid knows tons of parents who went to Ivy schools and tons of kids who are current seniors accepted into an Ivy school.

I guess if you attended IMG it may be the reverse…lots of kids going pro but few going to Harvard.

I actually grew up around some very intense baseball parents and actually know a very chill as a person, but you would definitely know his name if I said it member of the MLB... the vibe of baseball parents and my kid is going to the Ivies is actually really similar 🤣

It's always weird when people on DCUM aren't willing to name a person who is a public person. You claim to know an MLB player...how in the heck is anyone going to know who you are?

There are actually a decent number of us who know James Wood. See...I named him...you can probably sleuth that a bunch of SJC kids and family know him from his time at SJC and he is from Olney.

The fact of the matter though is only 800 people on the planet play in the MLB...while as we speak there are like 40,000 kids attending Ivy schools. What's more, there are 10,000 kids each year cycling through an Ivy school, while only like 50 are called up to the MLB each year.

I think you’re mixing lifetime totals with annual intake. The relevant comparison is how many are seriously in each pipeline vs how many make it through each year—and both end up being extremely selective with a lot of ‘qualified but not chosen.’ That’s why the parent dynamics feel similar.

Also I did not name because it would have been a distraction from the main point plus it could have removed my anonymity, because the one I know is not DC grown.

It's not anywhere close, at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid decided at age 6 she wanted to go to Brown after a trip to Providence. Now she's in HS and has no interest in Brown.

It's not just that younger kids don't understand the challenge of Ivy admissions, it's also that their interest is based on unreal idealizations of these places -- what they've seen on TV or heard from parents or friends. When they actually sit down to make college lists, most kids are more aware of schools' strengths and weaknesses, what the vibe is like, if it suits them academically or personality-wise.

It's so easy to look at famous college name or a pretty campus and think "I want that." It changes when "that" is a real place and not just a name or a brochure.

Why no interest in Brown?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14YO wants to go to the ivy that I went to. When she says that I just tell her study hard - its way more competitive now that it was back in my day. We'll see where she's at in a few years. In reality she's not as strong a student as I was so I don't expect it will be a realistic option for her. Which is totally fine, she's not getting pressure from me to go there.

I could have written about my 15yo DD. She’d like to go there for the prestige, but I think she’s realizing it would not be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

I also told people I was planning to be an orthopedic surgeon when I was that age. O-Chem humbled me, and I got my MBA/JD instead. It worked out just fine, and today I'm a C-level exec at a large company.

In hindsight, I never really liked science classes, so perhaps an adult could have burst my bubble before I got to O-Chem. I'm glad they didn't, though, because pursuing this path ultimately led me to clarity and accomplishments I wouldn't have had in sight at a younger age.

Like most teens, I wouldn't have known that the jobs that got me to where I am today were even options at 14-15 years old. As life happens and new windows and doors open in the years to come, most of these kids will choose a different path. It doesn't matter if they end up on non-Ivy paths, whether through their own evolved preferences or through rejection during the admissions process.

An orthopedic surgeon was a "great job" that I knew about because a friend's dad was one. Obviously, that's not the only "great job" out there. I just didn't know about most of them when I was 14. Similarly, Harvard and other Ivies are broadly known as "great schools." That doesn't mean they are the only ones; it means they are the obvious "great schools" many kids first hear about.