All DDs friends (age 14-15) say they are going to Ivies

[Anonymous]

Remind her that the Ivy League is a football thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind her that the Ivy League is a football thing

LOL, it's not a football thing, an athletic conference thing yes, but not a football thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid all the boys talked about the cars they would own one day. Kids have big dreams and maybe its OK to let them dream at 15 rather than stomping them back down to reality.

While you just need the money to buy any car, that's not (exactly) the case with colleges.

These days so much about highly selective (or highly rejective) colleges is about luck since so many who apply would be strong fits and do well there. Let them have big dreams! As long as they realize it takes hard work and focus to even be a contender in the application process then they will definitely end up somewhere great! (Ivy or non-Ivy) never squash a kids dreams!!! Only sad and cruel adults do this. I always say “ wow! Well, I know you girls are going to do great things wherever you end up going! “ or something to that effect when my daughter and her friend start talking about their dream schools and I’m expected to respond (as middle schoolers or freshman).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really no different than how all the parents say the same thing until they realize their kid has no shot…then it’s the old “we never chose private school to get into an Ivy”.

You always make the best of what you have in the present.

Uhhhhh I'm sending my DS is starting at the entry level of one of the top DC privates that keep them for their entire education... I have no expectation (or even particular desire) for him to go to an Ivy, but if he said he wanted to go to any Ivy, I wouldn't tell him it wasn't possible. Definitely would talk through with him how difficult it is to get in and the thing he needs to focus on tho get there, but I definitely wouldn't question it in the way OP is suggesting. Gotta let the kids dream and find their own path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

I was going to be an astronaut and marry Phoebe Cates.
It's too late for me to become an astronaut but my wife says she'll step aside for me to marry Phoebe Cates at any time.

[Anonymous]

My kid decided at age 6 she wanted to go to Brown after a trip to Providence. Now she's in HS and has no interest in Brown.

It's not just that younger kids don't understand the challenge of Ivy admissions, it's also that their interest is based on unreal idealizations of these places -- what they've seen on TV or heard from parents or friends. When they actually sit down to make college lists, most kids are more aware of schools' strengths and weaknesses, what the vibe is like, if it suits them academically or personality-wise.

It's so easy to look at famous college name or a pretty campus and think "I want that." It changes when "that" is a real place and not just a name or a brochure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

Are they a top student! Are they top 20% in their class at least Show them 2026 ig college admission Lage and show them at most it is less than 20% except sidwell. Tell them Ivy admits 4%. Are they too 5% in the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

I was going to be an astronaut and marry Phoebe Cates.
It's too late for me to become an astronaut but my wife says she'll step aside for me to marry Phoebe Cates at any time.

You could still SpaceX or something similar that may come out... when I was 5 I wanted to be a pink butterfly... after college I backpacked across Europe, Australia, and parts of Asia, it was prerry transformative, and at one point I was like "butterfly mission accomplished"... it's never to late to live your dream even if it doesn't look the way you thought it would when you dreamed it... Also never knock someone's dreams cause they could surprise you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

Are they a top student! Are they top 20% in their class at least Show them 2026 ig college admission Lage and show them at most it is less than 20% except sidwell. Tell them Ivy admits 4%. Are they too 5% in the country?

Do not do this. These girls are 13 and 14 years old. You have no idea what kind of students they will be in high school yet, nor do you know where they go to school, or if they are legacy etc.
things happen, people mature and knock things out of the park unexpectedly and other people you think we’re going to do well end up at a great but not stellar college because they didn’t work as hard as they could have or have bad luck. It is not your job to tell other people’s kids to aim lower. Nasty and horrible advice. OKLife will show them the reality of how hard things are as they age and enter other stages. Just tell them there are so many great schools out there things will be great no matter what, if they ask you or talk to you about it. Don’t tell them they can’t achieve a goal or dream when they are 13,14,15 or ever. They’ll find out on their own the hard way if they can’t! And some of them might surprise you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

Are they a top student! Are they top 20% in their class at least Show them 2026 ig college admission Lage and show them at most it is less than 20% except sidwell. Tell them Ivy admits 4%. Are they too 5% in the country?

Do not do this. These girls are 13 and 14 years old. You have no idea what kind of students they will be in high school yet, nor do you know where they go to school, or if they are legacy etc.
things happen, people mature and knock things out of the park unexpectedly and other people you think we’re going to do well end up at a great but not stellar college because they didn’t work as hard as they could have or have bad luck. It is not your job to tell other people’s kids to aim lower. Nasty and horrible advice. OKLife will show them the reality of how hard things are as they age and enter other stages. Just tell them there are so many great schools out there things will be great no matter what, if they ask you or talk to you about it. Don’t tell them they can’t achieve a goal or dream when they are 13,14,15 or ever. They’ll find out on their own the hard way if they can’t! And some of them might surprise you!

This⬆️

Also use it as an opportunity to introduce them to other schools that feel similar. Oh you like Harvard, you should also check out the University of Chicago, Northwestern, and Duke cause you may like one of them too! Everyone needs multiple schools to apply to.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a dream killer OP...your poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Shoot for the moon, you may miss and land around the stars.

[Anonymous]

it's the same as the kids in high school going around saying they are pre med. Too much emphasis on the result and not enough learning how to work for what you want... and realizing that sometimes you need a back up plan.

[Anonymous]

I do not understand why this is a problem for you OP. I also don't understand why wanting to go to an Ivy League school is considered pretentious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

So weird this bothers you. Kids are being kids at that age. Get a life.