All DDs friends (age 14-15) say they are going to Ivies

[Anonymous]

She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid all the boys talked about the cars they would own one day. Kids have big dreams and maybe its OK to let them dream at 15 rather than stomping them back down to reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid all the boys talked about the cars they would own one day. Kids have big dreams and maybe its OK to let them dream at 15 rather than stomping them back down to reality.

While you just need the money to buy any car, that's not (exactly) the case with colleges.

[Anonymous]

They're 9th graders, so they're likely just expressing big goals and saying you want to get into an Ivy league school for a 14 year old is just expressing ambition.

They have a while to figure it out and dreaming about getting into prestigious colleges isn't a bad goal.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. 14 and 15 yr olds say lots of things. At that age, I said I was going to be a hostage negotiator. It doesn't matter what they say. Your response to everything should be "That's nice, dear."

[Anonymous]

It’s ok for kids to have different husks and dreams and it’s ok for those to change from 14 to 18. College feels way in the future to 9th graders. It’s like saying I’m going to be a professional athlete. I tend to think it’s good your kid us hanging out with kids who care about doing well at school, and you are clearly not pushing the narrative that a person’s worth depends on getting into an Ivy League school, so I don’t see much of a problem.

[Anonymous]

Wait til junior year when they figure out what their standing in the class is and have some SAT scores under their belt. It will change. And for few kids for whom it doesn’t change, it can be really really unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

It’s really no different than how all the parents say the same thing until they realize their kid has no shot…then it’s the old “we never chose private school to get into an Ivy”.

You always make the best of what you have in the present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait til junior year when they figure out what their standing in the class is and have some SAT scores under their belt. It will change. And for few kids for whom it doesn’t change, it can be really really unhealthy.

+1

Let them be delulu. Reality will hit them.

[Anonymous]

Are you perhaps so ignorant that you cannot understand the difference between fact and aspiration? Don't you have a heart and don't you feel bad for these girls who will get a hard reality slap in the coming years?

[Anonymous]

They're 14. Kids who are smart dream of Ivies, kids who are sporty dream of the olympics and being professional athletes, kids who love politics dream of being president. There is really no need for reality at this age. They're just kids being kids.

I don't think it's necessary to tell them, well, statistically, you'll be going to a state school, floundering in your 20s, ending up with an office job you wouldn't understand now if we told you, getting laid off, and then getting a worse one. And if you're smart you join a few book clubs, if you're sporty you coach little league, and if you're into politics, you give some money to candidates you care about and bloviate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really no different than how all the parents say the same thing until they realize their kid has no shot…then it’s the old “we never chose private school to get into an Ivy”.

You always make the best of what you have in the present.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

Work as hard as you can and aim as high as possible, even if you don't get into an Ivy League school, you are setting yourself up for success wherever you attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're 14. Kids who are smart dream of Ivies, kids who are sporty dream of the olympics and being professional athletes, kids who love politics dream of being president. There is really no need for reality at this age. They're just kids being kids.

I don't think it's necessary to tell them, well, statistically, you'll be going to a state school, floundering in your 20s, ending up with an office job you wouldn't understand now if we told you, getting laid off, and then getting a worse one. And if you're smart you join a few book clubs, if you're sporty you coach little league, and if you're into politics, you give some money to candidates you care about and bloviate.

Ouch. I feel attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not.....

Why is there so much pretension???

Relax. It is cute to have aspirations!! Encourage her if she wants to say that!