Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

WTF?!
There are ZERO legitimate reasons why a child should be harassed for any superficial trait whatsoever! Why on earth would you support this line of thought not to mention pass such a toxic worldview onto the next generation?

I am so sad about our society sometimes and this is one of the reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

WTF?!
There are ZERO legitimate reasons why a child should be harassed for any superficial trait whatsoever! Why on earth would you support this line of thought not to mention pass such a toxic worldview onto the next generation?

I am so sad about our society sometimes and this is one of the reasons.

No one should be harassing anyone, absolutely. But we don't live in a perfect world and we need to prepare our kids for that. The unfortunate truth is that appearance does matter to a certain degree, as does how you interact socially. Are you teaching your children manners, how to make friends, and how to hold a polite conversation? Appearance is no different. When they become a teenager, will you let them suffer with bad acne because it's natural and people should be nice or will you help them?

I would give the same feedback if the thread was something like "my kid has no friends and no one will play with them." Ok, maybe EVERYONE at your kids school is terrible, OR maybe there is something holding your child back socially you can help them with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

WTF?!
There are ZERO legitimate reasons why a child should be harassed for any superficial trait whatsoever! Why on earth would you support this line of thought not to mention pass such a toxic worldview onto the next generation?

I am so sad about our society sometimes and this is one of the reasons.

No one should be harassing anyone, absolutely. But we don't live in a perfect world and we need to prepare our kids for that. The unfortunate truth is that appearance does matter to a certain degree, as does how you interact socially. Are you teaching your children manners, how to make friends, and how to hold a polite conversation? Appearance is no different. When they become a teenager, will you let them suffer with bad acne because it's natural and people should be nice or will you help them?

I would give the same feedback if the thread was something like "my kid has no friends and no one will play with them." Ok, maybe EVERYONE at your kids school is terrible, OR maybe there is something holding your child back socially you can help them with.

We prepare our kids for the harsh real world not by teaching them to bend to the self serving influence of the most aggressive amongst us, but by teaching them to ignore that sort of pressure in the first place and to stay true to who they are! We should be celebrating differences and unique people rather than teaching them to conform to toxic peers. I thought this was basic social knowledge taught in preschool but now I see why we can’t move past this ignorance in society. The parents are supporting this nonsense by letting it influence their kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

WTF?!
There are ZERO legitimate reasons why a child should be harassed for any superficial trait whatsoever! Why on earth would you support this line of thought not to mention pass such a toxic worldview onto the next generation?

I am so sad about our society sometimes and this is one of the reasons.

No one should be harassing anyone, absolutely. But we don't live in a perfect world and we need to prepare our kids for that. The unfortunate truth is that appearance does matter to a certain degree, as does how you interact socially. Are you teaching your children manners, how to make friends, and how to hold a polite conversation? Appearance is no different. When they become a teenager, will you let them suffer with bad acne because it's natural and people should be nice or will you help them?

I would give the same feedback if the thread was something like "my kid has no friends and no one will play with them." Ok, maybe EVERYONE at your kids school is terrible, OR maybe there is something holding your child back socially you can help them with.

Acne is a medical issue and should be treated for that reason. Not because cruel people will make fun of your body. Sheesh. What great role models you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.

+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.

They all have large teeth for their small heads. It's part of the awkward stage that will last for the next several years.

I actually do have a third grader with big teeth and bed head haha. But no one is calling them ugly, and not 3 people separately. So all I'm saying is that if this is happening it makes sense to try to figure out if there's somethign about your kid that is standing out in a bad way you can help them with.

youre a monster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.

That's ridiculous and no third grader needs to applying makeup or special hair products unless they want to or it's their cultural grooming standard. The kids bullying OP's kid have decided that their go-to insult is "ugly." It has nothing to do with OP's daughter's looks at all, and everything to do with those kids, what they are exposed to, and why they feel the need to be mean.

My third grader is skinny, yet she has had two friends call her fat. Not because she is fat, but because they wanted to be mean and that was their go-to insult. As to why it's the go-to insult, it's clearly from their home life. Which I know because the parent of one asked me once how I "kept" my daughter so thin, and the parent of the other talks incessantly about her own daughter's weight (despite said daughter being very thin) and the weights of other kids she sees. DD wasn't actually upset, but I was, because I don't want her to be thinking about weight at all - for herself or anyone else - and I sure as heck don't want her being mean to other girls in turn. We had a lot of talks about mean girls and whether you should be friends with people who intentionally try to hurt your feelings.

And yes, mean girl behavior can start as early as 8 or 9. I was a camp counselor for those age groups for years and there were always one or two girls who were manipulative and mean at that age. They may grow out of it, especially with help; but it's there.

[Anonymous]

Some of you guys are being really willfully obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you guys are being really willfully obtuse.

Thanks for the vagueposting.

[Anonymous]

This happened into middle school unfortunately. Kids are horrible, and you can see from the so called grown up trolls on this thread where they get it from. I agree at this age to tell the teacher, tell the principal too. My 8th grade dd won’t allow me to get involved. She is actually not just ok looking but very pretty, stylish and smart. The kids who are bullying her or excluding her are most definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you guys are being really willfully obtuse.

Thanks for the vagueposting.

Did you...read the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you guys are being really willfully obtuse.

Thanks for the vagueposting.

Did you...read the thread?

Of course but apparently there are multiple viewpoints being argued back and forth and we have no way to tell which side that vague statement places pp on.