Reply to Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child. [/quote]

Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid. [/quote]

That's ridiculous and no third grader needs to applying makeup or special hair products unless they want to or it's their cultural grooming standard. The kids bullying OP's kid have decided that their go-to insult is "ugly." It has nothing to do with OP's daughter's looks at all, and everything to do with those kids, what they are exposed to, and why they feel the need to be mean.

My third grader is skinny, yet she has had two friends call her fat. Not because she is fat, but because they wanted to be mean and that was their go-to insult. As to why it's the go-to insult, it's clearly from their home life. Which I know because the parent of one asked me once how I "kept" my daughter so thin, and the parent of the other talks incessantly about her own daughter's weight (despite said daughter being very thin) and the weights of other kids she sees. DD wasn't actually upset, but I was, because I don't want her to be thinking about weight at all - for herself or anyone else - and I sure as heck don't want her being mean to other girls in turn. We had a lot of talks about mean girls and whether you should be friends with people who intentionally try to hurt your feelings.

And yes, mean girl behavior can start as early as 8 or 9. I was a camp counselor for those age groups for years and there were always one or two girls who were manipulative and mean at that age. They may grow out of it, especially with help; but it's there.

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