Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?

[Anonymous]

This is interesting because my son and his friends are in third and are really really into roasts. So they constantly insult each other. We have talked ad nauseum about doing this only with friends who reciprocate, check in to make sure everyone is still having fun, etc etc. But I wonder if some of this might be bleeding over into other kids like your daughter?

If that’s the case her best bet is to roll her eyes and walk away. If she likes roasting- then she can engage, but otherwise, she will just be inviting escalation. The main thing she needs to learn is to not let her emotions show on her face. It sucks, but being able to stay stoic will really really be helpful as she gets older

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry this is happening to your child. First of all, you must let the teacher know. Secondly, you need to tell your child that it is ridiculous to think that she is ugly, but sadly, some kids say mean things like that. Talk to her about why they might do that so she can try to understand it from an intellectual point of view and not an emotional point of view. This will help her remain calm and the mean kids won’t get the emotional reaction they want. Of course, tell her you totally know it was upsetting and emphasize that it is not okay at all.

Then you work on how to respond with role-playing. Act the scenarios out with her and try out different responses so they can become second nature to her. At her age, I’d advise something along the lines of “That’s mean. Why would you say something like that?” and then walk away.

Absolutely tell the teacher.

-retired elementary teacher

[Anonymous]

3rd grade is where it all starts. My daughter was called ugly by girls who seemed deeply insecure about their own looks. It seems to be a go to insult that has nothing to do with what people actually look like. Or these girls are parroting what they hear people tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely email teacher for help. Also help your DD looks nicer, get her to learn one thing to very good level to build her self confidence.

Op does not need to change a nine year olds looks. My god.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to repeat back what they say. They'll get tired of it.

Btdt

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry this is happening to your child. First of all, you must let the teacher know. Secondly, you need to tell your child that it is ridiculous to think that she is ugly, but sadly, some kids say mean things like that. Talk to her about why they might do that so she can try to understand it from an intellectual point of view and not an emotional point of view. This will help her remain calm and the mean kids won’t get the emotional reaction they want. Of course, tell her you totally know it was upsetting and emphasize that it is not okay at all.

Then you work on how to respond with role-playing. Act the scenarios out with her and try out different responses so they can become second nature to her. At her age, I’d advise something along the lines of “That’s mean. Why would you say something like that?” and then walk away.

Absolutely tell the teacher.

-retired elementary teacher

Thank you! I am going to email the teacher.

[Anonymous]

I can't help it if you're jealous of me...
I was voted the ugliest girl in my 5th grade class, and I ended up modeling. So I chalk it up to jealousy (and racism)

[Anonymous]

Why would you make a 9 year old get braces??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely email teacher for help. Also help your DD looks nicer, get her to learn one thing to very good level to build her self confidence.

Op does not need to change a nine year olds looks. My god.

Yes she does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you make a 9 year old get braces??

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.

Your daughter is probably not the ugly one, it’s the girl calling her those names who desperately wants someone else to bear that burden. Just feel sorry for those kids.

[Anonymous]

Why are you people so mean? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you make a 9 year old get braces??

This

Because it makes fixing problems later easier? What do you know about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you make a 9 year old get braces??

This

Because it makes fixing problems later easier? What do you know about it?

Not OP but my nine year old also has braces (she actually got them at 8). It is actually quite common to do ortho in two phases depending on what is going on.