Are you attracted to men who are bad fathers?

[Anonymous]

No, I’m dating a dad with three young kids and he’s so at ease and loving with them that I almost feel incompetent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the number of men who dump their kids in favor of the mistress/AP, clearly a lot of women are ok with this type of man.

Obviously there are sad exceptions but on average red flags are attracted to other red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know beforehand?

You ask questions and observe. It becomes VERY obvious in a date or two.

For example, my now husband had de facto custody of his daughters in HS because their mom was a hot mess. However, he NEVER said a bad word about her. Said they divorced and the girls preferred to stay with him so they all agreed that would be best.

Turns out his ex cheated on him, had mental health issues, used to bring unsafe guys home and the girls were pretty scared of these men. But he never bashed her even to me. He just took care of business. This came out much later and not in a bashing way. His daughters are adutls now and on their own and they have a great relationship.

This is not helpful at all.

When I was single I never dated anyone who had kids. My friends didn’t either.

Cool story. Really helped with the discussion about bad fathers.

[Anonymous]

I know one woman who focuses on very hot men who spend very little time with their kids. She was mostly raised by a single mother. She talks to her father a couple of times a year but spends a lot of time with her mom. She can't tolerate men who care about their children more than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I’m dating a dad with three young kids and he’s so at ease and loving with them that I almost feel incompetent.

lol that’s the glow that comes with being a father who doesn’t have to carry the weight of 2x/yearly dentist appointments, shoe sizes, friendship status, ongoing mental health assessments, and generally being the parent with whom the children mask. Enjoy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I’m dating a dad with three young kids and he’s so at ease and loving with them that I almost feel incompetent.

lol that’s the glow that comes with being a father who doesn’t have to carry the weight of 2x/yearly dentist appointments, shoe sizes, friendship status, ongoing mental health assessments, and generally being the parent with whom the children mask. Enjoy

I know a lot of fathers are mediocre or terrible but some are fantastic. Why do you assume that PP didn't find one of those?

Anyway, this thread is about the women who are with guys who don't have that glow and don't spend much time with their kids.

[Anonymous]

XH wasn’t a father when I married him. So how could I tell he was going to be a bad one?

DH was a great father when ai met him and has continued to be an awesome parent and step parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I’m dating a dad with three young kids and he’s so at ease and loving with them that I almost feel incompetent.

lol that’s the glow that comes with being a father who doesn’t have to carry the weight of 2x/yearly dentist appointments, shoe sizes, friendship status, ongoing mental health assessments, and generally being the parent with whom the children mask. Enjoy

How does it feel to be this jaded and bitter? Pretty clear why you're single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone be attracted to someone because they were a bad father?

Uh no.

That is probably the worst trait a human could display (to shirk their responsibilities to someone who is totally dependent upon them!)

[Anonymous]

Not at all. My father has consistently been an exceptional parent and is now a wonderful grandfather. My husband is also a fantastic father, much like my own father. I cannot fathom finding someone with undesirable qualities appealing. Don't even entertain that.