Are you attracted to men who are bad fathers?

[Anonymous]

Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

No, because I had a good father. I also chose a man who would be an excellent father. My mother, who had a bad father who abandoned his wives and children, broke the cycle by marrying my dad.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone be attracted to someone because they were a bad father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone be attracted to someone because they were a bad father?

Chicks dig bad boys. Or at least that's what a lot of lived experience would suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone be attracted to someone because they were a bad father?

Chicks dig bad boys. Or at least that's what a lot of lived experience would suggest.

That's like tattoos and riding a motorcycle, not neglecting your kids.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. It reflects poor character.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter once they’re in their 50s++!

Then it’s all about companionship, money, travel, and fun!

Unless they’re super dependent….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because I had a good father. I also chose a man who would be an excellent father. My mother, who had a bad father who abandoned his wives and children, broke the cycle by marrying my dad.

Sounds like her father broke the cycle by leaving. Had he stayed or coparented, more of his bad behavior would have been normalized.

So three cheers for when they leave town!

[Anonymous]

I never could understand the bad boy appeal. It turned me off even when I was 16. Not to say I wanted a boring man though either.

DH jokes that he gets hit on the more than any other time in his whole life when he is driving my minivan with our 3 kids and taking them to the playground.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t matter once they’re in their 50s++!

Then it’s all about companionship, money, travel, and fun!

Unless they’re super dependent….

No way. Then they just become bad grandpas.

My mom compliments my dad the most on what a good grandpa he's become. He's so involved and present, which he wasn't always able to do when he was working full time as a dad.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. And it's so easy to tell. When I was OLD tell me how much they love their kids, talk about them all the time, and then not spend any time with them. When I would ask why, they'd say their ex is evil and doesn't let them see the kids. Of course, I'd offer that the courts are available for just that kind of situation and inevitably they'd be like "oh, she is actually a great mom and the kids are well taken care of, bla bla bla" Yeah, that's a hard no from me. You just want me to believe how you're a wonerful, caring dad, yet you abdicated all of the child care and parenting to your "evil" ex.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. If I sensed a man was a bad (or even mediocre) father, I would end things, even if we were never going to have kids together.

[Anonymous]

Goodness no.

But I do wonder about this. My (horrible) stepfather married my mother even though when they were dating she left my sister and I alone at night when they would go out and we were very young (elementary school).

[Anonymous]

Nope.
However, lots of women are. They make tons of excuses for those bad dad husbands too.