Are you attracted to men who are bad fathers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because I had a good father. I also chose a man who would be an excellent father. My mother, who had a bad father who abandoned his wives and children, broke the cycle by marrying my dad.

Sounds like her father broke the cycle by leaving. Had he stayed or coparented, more of his bad behavior would have been normalized.

So three cheers for when they leave town!

What? No, he had a great father (my great grandfather). His brothers were also great fathers. He was a rotten egg.

But the rotten egg didn’t best thing for everyone: left and abandoned his kids.

So his neglect and bad influence was no longer around.

Then he came back to visit his daughter, who put on her prettiest dress in excitement, but only because he wanted to have sex with her mom again. Left another scar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because I had a good father. I also chose a man who would be an excellent father. My mother, who had a bad father who abandoned his wives and children, broke the cycle by marrying my dad.

Sounds like her father broke the cycle by leaving. Had he stayed or coparented, more of his bad behavior would have been normalized.

So three cheers for when they leave town!

What? No, he had a great father (my great grandfather). His brothers were also great fathers. He was a rotten egg.

But the rotten egg didn’t best thing for everyone: left and abandoned his kids.

So his neglect and bad influence was no longer around.

Then he came back to visit his daughter, who put on her prettiest dress in excitement, but only because he wanted to have sex with her mom again. Left another scar.

And he succeeded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why or why not?

Never. Men who are bad fathers or women who are bad mothers are the trash of society. I am so much better than them on that account.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately yes.
I perceive them as more manly
The ones who are good fathers are often (not always) too passive and their wives too dominant
But, it’s always sexy when a man has the right combination of fatherly and manly

[Anonymous]

How do you know beforehand?

[Anonymous]

No I think they re disgusting.

Men who are good fathers get extra points from me.

[Anonymous]

I think the women who date men who are a parade of red flags delude themselves into blaming the men's exes and believe they'll be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone be attracted to someone because they were a bad father?

Chicks dig bad boys. Or at least that's what a lot of lived experience would suggest.

Dumb ones.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone is intentionally attracted to it but women who love bad dads will certainly minimize and make excuses for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. And it's so easy to tell. When I was OLD tell me how much they love their kids, talk about them all the time, and then not spend any time with them. When I would ask why, they'd say their ex is evil and doesn't let them see the kids. Of course, I'd offer that the courts are available for just that kind of situation and inevitably they'd be like "oh, she is actually a great mom and the kids are well taken care of, bla bla bla" Yeah, that's a hard no from me. You just want me to believe how you're a wonerful, caring dad, yet you abdicated all of the child care and parenting to your "evil" ex.

Haha that’s my ex. I’m evil by not letting him see his adult son. But he never even did a single college visit in HS, and never visited son in college. It must be easy for him - only son visits him at his house at a different state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know beforehand?

How often do they see their kids? Is there a schedule? If so, do they stick to it? Do they trash talk their ex, but didn't want much/any custody? Do they have custody but quickly try to put someone into a stepmother role too quickly? Some of this takes time to suss out, but things like custody arrangements are fair game for asking almost immediately. "Oh, you only see your kids every other weekend/once a month? Why is that?" The answer will tell you a lot. If the answer is "I'm too busy" then one has to wonder how he has time to date...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. And it's so easy to tell. When I was OLD tell me how much they love their kids, talk about them all the time, and then not spend any time with them. When I would ask why, they'd say their ex is evil and doesn't let them see the kids. Of course, I'd offer that the courts are available for just that kind of situation and inevitably they'd be like "oh, she is actually a great mom and the kids are well taken care of, bla bla bla" Yeah, that's a hard no from me. You just want me to believe how you're a wonerful, caring dad, yet you abdicated all of the child care and parenting to your "evil" ex.

Haha that’s my ex. I’m evil by not letting him see his adult son. But he never even did a single college visit in HS, and never visited son in college. It must be easy for him - only son visits him at his house at a different state.

Smart women see right through that BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know beforehand?

You ask questions and observe. It becomes VERY obvious in a date or two.

For example, my now husband had de facto custody of his daughters in HS because their mom was a hot mess. However, he NEVER said a bad word about her. Said they divorced and the girls preferred to stay with him so they all agreed that would be best.

Turns out his ex cheated on him, had mental health issues, used to bring unsafe guys home and the girls were pretty scared of these men. But he never bashed her even to me. He just took care of business. This came out much later and not in a bashing way. His daughters are adutls now and on their own and they have a great relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know beforehand?

I know right???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know beforehand?

You ask questions and observe. It becomes VERY obvious in a date or two.

For example, my now husband had de facto custody of his daughters in HS because their mom was a hot mess. However, he NEVER said a bad word about her. Said they divorced and the girls preferred to stay with him so they all agreed that would be best.

Turns out his ex cheated on him, had mental health issues, used to bring unsafe guys home and the girls were pretty scared of these men. But he never bashed her even to me. He just took care of business. This came out much later and not in a bashing way. His daughters are adutls now and on their own and they have a great relationship.

This is not helpful at all.

When I was single I never dated anyone who had kids. My friends didn’t either.