Sad my DD is breaking up with her boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone relate? My DD has been with this kid officially since October but they hung out all summer. He is the nicest, most polite and treats her so well. He is super respectful, comes to the door when he picks her up, always wants to talk to us, and is just a really great guy. She totally agrees. But the issue is she is a senior and he is a junior and she has said from the beginning that she does not want to spend her summer before leaving for college with a boyfriend. She has also been very forthcoming about wanting to spend time with her friends. Unfortunately him being a junior means he is not invited/included in the senior parties/gatherings so she goes to those without him. He 100% trusts her, but feels like she should want to spend more of her time with him than her friends. She says she feels like she does not want to "drop everything" to be with him whenever he wants to hang out, even though he would 100% do that for her (she has never asked him to do that). Last weekend there was a big party that she went to after hanging out with him all day and he was upset that she went. She says she feels like she wants to spend this last semester having fun and enjoying senior year and instead she feels guilty and stressed about the relationship. She says she does not want to string him along. So I totally get it and know it is the right thing. I just really feel sad for him and know she will likely realize later that he really was a good egg. Not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar when their son or daughter ended a relationship.

Your DD and the people she hangs with seem very rigid about grade levels, ages, and what type of fun is the correct fun.

I also don't understand why she can't bring her boyfriend to a party. Teens date kids from different grades and schools all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone relate? My DD has been with this kid officially since October but they hung out all summer. He is the nicest, most polite and treats her so well. He is super respectful, comes to the door when he picks her up, always wants to talk to us, and is just a really great guy. She totally agrees. But the issue is she is a senior and he is a junior and she has said from the beginning that she does not want to spend her summer before leaving for college with a boyfriend. She has also been very forthcoming about wanting to spend time with her friends. Unfortunately him being a junior means he is not invited/included in the senior parties/gatherings so she goes to those without him. He 100% trusts her, but feels like she should want to spend more of her time with him than her friends. She says she feels like she does not want to "drop everything" to be with him whenever he wants to hang out, even though he would 100% do that for her (she has never asked him to do that). Last weekend there was a big party that she went to after hanging out with him all day and he was upset that she went. She says she feels like she wants to spend this last semester having fun and enjoying senior year and instead she feels guilty and stressed about the relationship. She says she does not want to string him along. So I totally get it and know it is the right thing. I just really feel sad for him and know she will likely realize later that he really was a good egg. Not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar when their son or daughter ended a relationship.

Your DD and the people she hangs with seem very rigid about grade levels, ages, and what type of fun is the correct fun.

I also don't understand why she can't bring her boyfriend to a party. Teens date kids from different grades and schools all the time.

Of course but even if an established friend group of seniors is getting together, they may want it to be just "them" who have been close for 4+ years, and not also the junior who is fine but they started interacting with a few months ago.

[Anonymous]

It's very weird that you are this invested
He's not a great guy if he's attempting to guilt trip her into spending time with her. His nice guy manners is manipulative behavior.
Good for your daughter for sticking up for herself.
Don't you dare share your disappointment with her
She gets to decide who the best romantic partner is for her not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, you want the best for your kids. If they find a good partner and have a good relationship, you see it as a blessing that they don't have to kiss dozens of frogs to find their prince or princess. It gives you peace that they'll look out for each other, which would make life easier for them. You can mourn the loss without any guilt. This is normal.

I find it pretty profoundly weird that OP is so invested in the love life of her 18 year old, more so than the daughter herself. And it's WAY too early for her to be thinking about finding good long-term partners; the kid's 18!!!

We won't even address how low OP's standards are that she thinks that this clingy kid who seems overly invested in the relationship is somehow the gold standard for partners.

Hahaha! OP is batsh@t.