Sad my DD is breaking up with her boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Can anyone relate? My DD has been with this kid officially since October but they hung out all summer. He is the nicest, most polite and treats her so well. He is super respectful, comes to the door when he picks her up, always wants to talk to us, and is just a really great guy. She totally agrees. But the issue is she is a senior and he is a junior and she has said from the beginning that she does not want to spend her summer before leaving for college with a boyfriend. She has also been very forthcoming about wanting to spend time with her friends. Unfortunately him being a junior means he is not invited/included in the senior parties/gatherings so she goes to those without him. He 100% trusts her, but feels like she should want to spend more of her time with him than her friends. She says she feels like she does not want to "drop everything" to be with him whenever he wants to hang out, even though he would 100% do that for her (she has never asked him to do that). Last weekend there was a big party that she went to after hanging out with him all day and he was upset that she went. She says she feels like she wants to spend this last semester having fun and enjoying senior year and instead she feels guilty and stressed about the relationship. She says she does not want to string him along. So I totally get it and know it is the right thing. I just really feel sad for him and know she will likely realize later that he really was a good egg. Not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar when their son or daughter ended a relationship.

[Anonymous]

We are talking about 17-18 year olds? You need to completely let go of this. She seems like she has her head on straight. Don't get so attached next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone relate? My DD has been with this kid officially since October but they hung out all summer. He is the nicest, most polite and treats her so well. He is super respectful, comes to the door when he picks her up, always wants to talk to us, and is just a really great guy. She totally agrees. But the issue is she is a senior and he is a junior and she has said from the beginning that she does not want to spend her summer before leaving for college with a boyfriend. She has also been very forthcoming about wanting to spend time with her friends. Unfortunately him being a junior means he is not invited/included in the senior parties/gatherings so she goes to those without him. He 100% trusts her, but feels like she should want to spend more of her time with him than her friends. She says she feels like she does not want to "drop everything" to be with him whenever he wants to hang out, even though he would 100% do that for her (she has never asked him to do that). Last weekend there was a big party that she went to after hanging out with him all day and he was upset that she went. She says she feels like she wants to spend this last semester having fun and enjoying senior year and instead she feels guilty and stressed about the relationship. She says she does not want to string him along. So I totally get it and know it is the right thing. I just really feel sad for him and know she will likely realize later that he really was a good egg. Not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar when their son or daughter ended a relationship.

That’s not good. She’s doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Be happy she is independent and wants to enjoy this time. There’s not a redo available and it’s great that she’s prioritizing making the most of it. If it’s meant to be with this kid it will happen. Otherwise she will meet someone else. Secure women who value their independence attract good guys.

[Anonymous]

She's definitely doing the right thing! They will both grow into their own people. At the moment, she sounds more mature than he does. He may, indeed, be a sweetheart, but now is probably the least painful time to break up with him. (better than prom season, the week she goes off to college, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are talking about 17-18 year olds? You need to completely let go of this. She seems like she has her head on straight. Don't get so attached next time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Good job with your daughter, mom! She sounds extraordinary!

[Anonymous]

Ho ho ho, merry Christmas

[Anonymous]

Let him go and put him in the bring-up file for 2028

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him go and put him in the bring-up file for 2028

Don't do this. Why would you bring him up when she's 20 and they're at different colleges? This seems like some religious, marry at 20 type of thinking. These are teenagers.

[Anonymous]

I mean this kindly, but this reads a little like you’re watching a Hallmark movie about your daughter’s relationship. They’re teenagers, not a 30-year marriage on the brink. It sounds like your daughter is communicating clearly and managing the situation pretty maturely for a 17-year-old. You should feel proud, not sad.

[Anonymous]

It's sad that we sometimes meet the right person at the wrong time, but this situation sounds like that. If they are meant to be together, they will eventually reconnect again.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds more mature than you.

Do you have some weird crush on this boy or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone relate? My DD has been with this kid officially since October but they hung out all summer. He is the nicest, most polite and treats her so well. He is super respectful, comes to the door when he picks her up, always wants to talk to us, and is just a really great guy. She totally agrees. But the issue is she is a senior and he is a junior and she has said from the beginning that she does not want to spend her summer before leaving for college with a boyfriend. She has also been very forthcoming about wanting to spend time with her friends. Unfortunately him being a junior means he is not invited/included in the senior parties/gatherings so she goes to those without him. He 100% trusts her, but feels like she should want to spend more of her time with him than her friends. She says she feels like she does not want to "drop everything" to be with him whenever he wants to hang out, even though he would 100% do that for her (she has never asked him to do that). Last weekend there was a big party that she went to after hanging out with him all day and he was upset that she went. She says she feels like she wants to spend this last semester having fun and enjoying senior year and instead she feels guilty and stressed about the relationship. She says she does not want to string him along. So I totally get it and know it is the right thing. I just really feel sad for him and know she will likely realize later that he really was a good egg. Not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar when their son or daughter ended a relationship.

Yes, but rarely at this age. Most parents are relieved when high school romances end.

[Anonymous]

If he’s mad she went to a party with her friends without him, he’s not the best egg you think he is. That’s kind of a red flag.

He might just be immature like most teens but your daughter really has her head on straight. It seems like you might have some “I need a man” thinking to unpack for yourself.