Does it bother you to see families super underdressed at church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

I don't care how they show up. As long as they are there!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I just feel sorry for them.

That’s so sweet of you. Why?

Because they don’t know any better, and everyone is judging them. They kids don’t know why everyone is staring at them.

People don’t stare or judge at my church. Is being so judgmental standard at your church? I feel sorry for you because you are so far from G*d.

[Anonymous]

We have our house rule - button down and blazer Easter and Christmas, shirt with a collar and pants or the kind of knit pants that look like pants any other time. Our church is just happy you’re there. Babies and toddlers are allowed to make a joyful noise, too. Every once in a while a toddler toddles up to the altar and the minister just sends them back.

[Anonymous]

Agree and as much focus people place on college admissions, they need to pay more attention to appearance. Being well dressed and put together is just as important professionally or more so than where you went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never understood dressing up for any religious house of worship.

Why would any God even care? Cleanliness, I understand. But specific or dressy clothes? That's for humans, not any God..

I felt the same way about mosques, growing up Muslim - why do women need to cover their hair when praying or going to a mosque? Why on earth would God care at all?

It's all performative. I know that all religion is basically performative, but it's wild to me how people care about these things.

I think it goes hand and hand. You're setting the tone that this is something to take seriously and worthy of respect. It's once a week for an hour or two. Why is it so hard for people to demonstrate some level CARE?

Disagree. Cleanliness has a "purification" element that I get with regards to religion. Clothes are just exterior. A facade. Only people care about facades.

In my experience, not just in attending church, but also as a retired public school administrator, cleanliness and hygiene are correlated to tidy clothing. They go hand in hand. It doesn't cost any extra HHI for you and your kids to comb their hair, for your husband to wake up 10 minutes earlier to have a clean shave, for the boys to wear a collared shirt and tuck it in, for the girls to wear a dress and brush their hair. Why would kids take church and religion seriously if their parents clearly don't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree and as much focus people place on college admissions, they need to pay more attention to appearance. Being well dressed and put together is just as important professionally or more so than where you went to college.

Right? If nothing else, consider it practice for the real world. Getting reps in hygiene, daily grooming, and dressing at least business casual. If you won't make an effort for your religion, what will you ever make an effort for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care one bit. No one needs to be dressed up to attend church.

Why did everyone dress up for church in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s? You don't think that looked much nicer? You don't admire a random good looking family wearing their Sunday best if you see one on a Sunday afternoon? Come on, we all do.

This erosion of effort and appearance and coming to church in casual clothes seems to be a relatively new phenomenon.

I can say this, my current church has a much higher attendance of teens since they can dress comfortably. Just because things were done in the past doesn’t make a change bad. There will always be those who dress up. Mind your own business.

Back in the 90s my parents used to fight my brother every weekend to get him dressed for church. It made everything super stressful and definitely didn't turn my brother into a church goer.

I'd bet anything the children who are allowed to come to church like slobs are exponentially more likely to cease church attendance when they can (age 18, college, moving out of the house). If their parents never took the church seriously, why would they? It doesn't take money to be tidy, shave, brush hair, put on a collared shirt, tuck your shirt in, and iron your slacks.

What's interesting and there are a lot of coaches in high school, travel, and college who demand their student-athletes dress up for game days and travel. None of the sports crazy parents complain about that! But dressing nice for an hour a week for your religion is asking too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care one bit. No one needs to be dressed up to attend church.

Why did everyone dress up for church in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s? You don't think that looked much nicer? You don't admire a random good looking family wearing their Sunday best if you see one on a Sunday afternoon? Come on, we all do.

This erosion of effort and appearance and coming to church in casual clothes seems to be a relatively new phenomenon.

I can say this, my current church has a much higher attendance of teens since they can dress comfortably. Just because things were done in the past doesn’t make a change bad. There will always be those who dress up. Mind your own business.

Back in the 90s my parents used to fight my brother every weekend to get him dressed for church. It made everything super stressful and definitely didn't turn my brother into a church goer.

I'd bet anything the children who are allowed to come to church like slobs are exponentially more likely to cease church attendance when they can (age 18, college, moving out of the house). If their parents never took the church seriously, why would they? It doesn't take money to be tidy, shave, brush hair, put on a collared shirt, tuck your shirt in, and iron your slacks.

My casual-dress church has a community of involved tweens, teens, and young adults. They are there for each other and the service, not to put on a fashion show. It is such a joy seeing my young teen light up when she sees her friends at service, and to see them all voluntarily going to the extra activities or volunteering with the littler kids. The church community is a huge part of our lives - we're usually there most of the weekend, because of after-service activities- and I do not care at all what anybody wears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree and as much focus people place on college admissions, they need to pay more attention to appearance. Being well dressed and put together is just as important professionally or more so than where you went to college.

Which really has nothing to do with going to church. Appearances are important to people, not to God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread needs to be contextualized. OP- are you white? There’s a different calculus if not. What denomination are we talking about?

Catholic
Episcopal
Methodist/Presbyterian/UCC/mainline Protestant
Non-denominational mega church
Mormon
7th day Adventist

I feel like that will help people understand where you’re coming from…

Pls explain why race is a factor.

Dressing in your Sunday Best is a huge part of African American churches. For black domestic workers (and many other black workers) during Jim Crow, Sunday was the only day they had off and the only day they had where they did not have to wear a uniform. Dressing up for church became about pride.

[Anonymous]

I used to be in church choir and we would wear athletic shorts and tank tops under the robes especially in the summer. The choir loft got hot.

[Anonymous]

When my kids were little I dressed them up for church. When they started dressing themselves they rebelled. I decided it wasn't a battle worth having. I dress nicely, my husband dresses nicely. My teens actually do dress with care- just not in the clothes that I would necessarily consider 'church attire.' If you have an issue with how my family is dressed at church, please bring it up with me directly, not on DCUM. The only 'ask' i have is that you have this discussion with me in front of one of the pastors at church- they need to know how you feel.

[Anonymous]

it bothered me until I got too fat for mu church clothes.

[Anonymous]

The Bible covers this:

Judge not lest ye be judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

Have you been to the theatre lately? Same deal. My theory is that during Covid, people got super sloppy and never recovered.