My child really upset about not getting into “Big 3” School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve taken care to not discuss “Big 3” schools or anything of that nature around DD 14 as she applies to high schools. However, I guess she heard about it from friends or something, because it’s looking like she will not be going to a “Big 3” school next year but her friends mostly are. They are always rejoicing about their academic prospects, while she feels hers are nonexistent and she’ll never get into college. This is so heartbreaking to me. How do I comfort my child and show her that a Big 3 school is not everything?

I have a graduate and current upper schooler at a Big3. The only kids getting into an Ivy or similar unhooked from our school are top10% kids. It's really not a good option for most kids if they're concerned about college admits. These kids are working their a$$ off, 3-4 hours a night for 4 years, turning in college-level literary analyses ever month to end up at with a few Bs and any chance of Ivies or similar over. Meanwhile, kids at DCPS are doing a fraction of the work, getting As for completion in many classes and ending up with Ivy choices. I know as I had graduates from both.

Life is not over if you don't make it into a Big3. In fact unless you have a really outlier kid it's probably not a good choice.

This is our experience as well but with sibling at MCPS. Yes, the MCPS kid is taking a lot of APs, but somehow has substantially less work and straight As. We know that the college process will be different and that it's important to understand that colleges compare you to your peers at your school.

It's hard to see friends going one way when you are going another, and you can empathize with that emotion, but the college prospects worry is unfounded.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t a big deal. High school prestige no longer matters for college admissions. The kid in the top decile at Landon will have better outcomes than the top 25% kid at STA.

[Anonymous]

My son that got into a big 3 ended up with disappointing college outcomes. His friends in Ivies were mostly legacy or well connected. My kid that got rejected ended up at a school most on this site would look down upon. He soared to the top of the class, was very involved in the community, and got into a T10 early decision. Both sons are of equal intellect, but the younger son benefitted from less competition and pressure. It’s way easier to get into top colleges when only 5 kids from your school care about elite admissions instead of the majority of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son that got into a big 3 ended up with disappointing college outcomes. His friends in Ivies were mostly legacy or well connected. My kid that got rejected ended up at a school most on this site would look down upon. He soared to the top of the class, was very involved in the community, and got into a T10 early decision. Both sons are of equal intellect, but the younger son benefitted from less competition and pressure. It’s way easier to get into top colleges when only 5 kids from your school care about elite admissions instead of the majority of the class.

This! Sidwell isn’t always the best choice. Too many legacies, VIPs, striver s families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a big deal. High school prestige no longer matters for college admissions. The kid in the top decile at Landon will have better outcomes than the top 25% kid at STA.

But he has to go to Landon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a big deal. High school prestige no longer matters for college admissions. The kid in the top decile at Landon will have better outcomes than the top 25% kid at STA.

But he has to go to Landon.

He actually thrived at Landon and loved it. Landon has a wider variety of student personalities than STA and he loved the athletic culture and atmosphere.