My child really upset about not getting into “Big 3” School
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Anonymous
| I’ve taken care to not discuss “Big 3” schools or anything of that nature around DD 14 as she applies to high schools. However, I guess she heard about it from friends or something, because it’s looking like she will not be going to a “Big 3” school next year but her friends mostly are. They are always rejoicing about their academic prospects, while she feels hers are nonexistent and she’ll never get into college. This is so heartbreaking to me. How do I comfort my child and show her that a Big 3 school is not everything? |
Anonymous
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Ask her to make a list of people she thinks are doing well in life. People she knows or knows of, that are similar to her-- not pop stars. Then have her list where they went.
When I did this exercise as a kid, Colorado School of Mines was the clear winner. |
Anonymous
| This is what you get for sending your kid to a snobby private school OP. Guess what? Kids in public school get into college too. |
Anonymous
| Tell her that many public school kids go to Top 10 colleges and universities, and that's always an option for her, while many "Big 3" graduates do not. That's the truth. Where she ends up for college is still up to her. |
Anonymous
| Show her some college admissions data and she'll be fine. She needs to get over the FOMO with time. |
Anonymous
Is she coming from public school? Our K-8 does a good job about not having kids discuss anything about hs placement until well later in school year when things settle down. Multiple emails to parents from the placement coordinator and reminders about not even wearing school related “swag” to school. My daughter informed me that kids have not been discussing anything and she has no clue where her classmates are going yet. If at a K-8 maybe try reaching out to the school or hs placement coordinator. I know this doesn’t always happen and it is hard as kids are excited but so far we have been lucky. |
Anonymous
This. I have multiple friends at Jackson Reed whose kids are heading to Ivies next year. |
Anonymous
If that’s how you feel about private school families, why are you in this forum? |
Anonymous
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Of course she will get into college. And she might get into a better one, with less stress, than her friends at those Big 3s (if she has a near-perfect GPA and test scores, hustles and does a prestigious internship, and wins awards in her extra-curriculars, so get onto that, OP). However I do sympathize with her about the friend group separating. That's always hard.
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Anonymous
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Get her off DCUM. Nobody but this website uses “big 3” as a thing.
Is she actually upset about and viewing her HS options as a lower quality education, or is she sad not to be with her friends? Or the friends are somehow going on about prestige and that’s making her feel like the kid with Payless sneakers when everyone else is in name-brand? The vast majority of private schools in the DC area are all strong schools for students who out in the effort. If she is motivated to go to a good college, she should focus on her academics wherever she is and she’ll do fine. |
Anonymous
| The thing about tiny violins is there's never one around when you need it. |
Anonymous
I can offer you a Christmas ornament shaped like a cello. It’s handy in a pinch. 😂 |
Anonymous
| Offer consolation, but remind your kid that this is how the process often works out for many people. The reality is that she will face a similar degree of disappointment when she applies to colleges, so experiencing the sting now will help her absorb future ones. |
Anonymous
| These types of resilience lessons early on are a good thing |
Anonymous
| NP here. We are also trying to make something positive out of this reality check. |