DD telling all kinds of stories about her chemistry teacher that can’t possibly be true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP, who is the only one to know the child, believes the stories are not true.

But DCUM, who has no knowledge of the student or the teacher, decided to condemn the teacher anyway. Because that’s how we roll here, right?

Imagine being a teacher these days, knowing that parents quickly and gleefully jump on the teacher-take down train.

Innocent until proven guilty, unless you’re a teacher, that is.

Reading comp issues. None of us are condemning the teacher. We think it's all normal, with the possible exception of sharing 504 details (but my kid's teachers all need to ask everyone with extended time to come at lunch time, so it's inevitable that some details are going to be public).

It's OP who is de facto condemning the teacher, because she thinks the allegations are so out there that she prefers to think her own child is lying rather than believe a teacher would say these things. And we are here to tell her that teachers say such things all the time, and that it's not a big deal.

You're really stupid.

You lost your argument the second you called me stupid. That’s what happens when you resort to insults.

No, teachers don’t say such things “all the time.” How do I know? Because I am employed in a school. And yes, I do think it’s a “big deal” to casually assume fault on the part of the teacher. But perhaps that’s because facts matter to me more than opinions.

And, since you brought up reading comprehension: the OP didn’t condemn the teacher as much as subsequent posters did. The OP questioned the source: the child. It’s other posters who jumped on the “teachers are weird” bandwagon. I’d prefer not to make blanket judgments. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

My son and friend were sitting outside near the HS and a woman came up and starting talking to them with a Hugh degree of mania. She identified herself as a teacher at another local HS — we were later able to confirm this but the woman was clearly having a mental health issue. She told them all sorts of things.

So that’s an extreme example. But I’ve also noted that there’s a minority of teachers who don’t really understand appropriate professional boundaries. I think the fact that they don’t interact with other adults for much of their work day means this behavior can go uncorrected for longer than it might in a different kind of workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how OP changed the teacher to a she to fudge details

You know this how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son and friend were sitting outside near the HS and a woman came up and starting talking to them with a Hugh degree of mania. She identified herself as a teacher at another local HS — we were later able to confirm this but the woman was clearly having a mental health issue. She told them all sorts of things.

So that’s an extreme example. But I’ve also noted that there’s a minority of teachers who don’t really understand appropriate professional boundaries. I think the fact that they don’t interact with other adults for much of their work day means this behavior can go uncorrected for longer than it might in a different kind of workplace.

This is a gross misrepresentation of a teacher’s workday.

Most of us err on the side of caution BECAUSE we work with children. And your argument that behavior can go uncorrected for a while? We are observed regularly by supervisors. We are videotaped by our students. We are under WAY MORE supervision than your average professional, and I say that as a career changer who has experienced different fields.

Your extreme example is just that: extreme. Yet this thread suggests that’s the norm, which is disrespectful to the many teachers who perform admirably every day.

I had the WORST OBGYN deliver my 2nd child. Honestly, he was absolutely pathetic at his job and was so disrespectful toward women. But I could see he was an outlier in his field, so I didn’t condemn his coworkers because he was an inept fool. Why are we so comfortable making blanket statements about teachers, especially when most posters here don’t have experience with the field past the couple teachers they have met?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP, who is the only one to know the child, believes the stories are not true.

But DCUM, who has no knowledge of the student or the teacher, decided to condemn the teacher anyway. Because that’s how we roll here, right?

Imagine being a teacher these days, knowing that parents quickly and gleefully jump on the teacher-take down train.

Innocent until proven guilty, unless you’re a teacher, that is.

No, sorry, I believe my kid when they tell me things. I think we found the abuser in the thread! "Don't bother telling your mom, she won't believe you." But I WILL.

I’ve been teaching 25 years. I’ve had almost 3,000 students. Experience tells me most students are unreliable narrators.

And I’ve had to show plenty of parents the proof that their children’s stories aren’t true.

And call me an abuser? Come on, now.

Well, as I parent my particular child they have proven many times to be a reliable narrator. So if they come home and tell me something, I will believe them. If you aren’t doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son and friend were sitting outside near the HS and a woman came up and starting talking to them with a Hugh degree of mania. She identified herself as a teacher at another local HS — we were later able to confirm this but the woman was clearly having a mental health issue. She told them all sorts of things.

So that’s an extreme example. But I’ve also noted that there’s a minority of teachers who don’t really understand appropriate professional boundaries. I think the fact that they don’t interact with other adults for much of their work day means this behavior can go uncorrected for longer than it might in a different kind of workplace.

This is a gross misrepresentation of a teacher’s workday.

Most of us err on the side of caution BECAUSE we work with children. And your argument that behavior can go uncorrected for a while? We are observed regularly by supervisors. We are videotaped by our students. We are under WAY MORE supervision than your average professional, and I say that as a career changer who has experienced different fields.

Your extreme example is just that: extreme. Yet this thread suggests that’s the norm, which is disrespectful to the many teachers who perform admirably every day.

I had the WORST OBGYN deliver my 2nd child. Honestly, he was absolutely pathetic at his job and was so disrespectful toward women. But I could see he was an outlier in his field, so I didn’t condemn his coworkers because he was an inept fool. Why are we so comfortable making blanket statements about teachers, especially when most posters here don’t have experience with the field past the couple teachers they have met?

I am sorry my post was misconstrued. I am a huge supporter of teachers. There is a minority (10% of less) of teachers that do seem to lack boundaries as my teens seem to have one every year that is pretty inappropriate with what they say in the classroom as far as over sharing or commenting on students looks etc. As I said, I think it’s a real minority but it’s definitely a phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP, who is the only one to know the child, believes the stories are not true.

But DCUM, who has no knowledge of the student or the teacher, decided to condemn the teacher anyway. Because that’s how we roll here, right?

Imagine being a teacher these days, knowing that parents quickly and gleefully jump on the teacher-take down train.

Innocent until proven guilty, unless you’re a teacher, that is.

No, sorry, I believe my kid when they tell me things. I think we found the abuser in the thread! "Don't bother telling your mom, she won't believe you." But I WILL.

I’ve been teaching 25 years. I’ve had almost 3,000 students. Experience tells me most students are unreliable narrators.

And I’ve had to show plenty of parents the proof that their children’s stories aren’t true.

And call me an abuser? Come on, now.

DP, whether or not you’re an abuser you’re clearly the person who’s going to let another abuser get away with it. You shouldn’t be in a position of trust with children.

[Anonymous]

This is entirely believable to me. Something similar happened to my high school, English teacher in senior year. Parents complained, school asked for patience because she was “young”, fired when it came out she had shown up in the hotel room of the basketball team during state championships.

Some people go into teaching for all the wrong reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP, who is the only one to know the child, believes the stories are not true.

But DCUM, who has no knowledge of the student or the teacher, decided to condemn the teacher anyway. Because that’s how we roll here, right?

Imagine being a teacher these days, knowing that parents quickly and gleefully jump on the teacher-take down train.

Innocent until proven guilty, unless you’re a teacher, that is.

No, sorry, I believe my kid when they tell me things. I think we found the abuser in the thread! "Don't bother telling your mom, she won't believe you." But I WILL.

I’ve been teaching 25 years. I’ve had almost 3,000 students. Experience tells me most students are unreliable narrators.

And I’ve had to show plenty of parents the proof that their children’s stories aren’t true.

And call me an abuser? Come on, now.

You're a teacher? No one is saying the teacher in the OP is abusive. Posters have been relating their own experiences, or their kids', with teachers who overshare. That's normal and par for the course. Teachers are entitled to their feelings and idiosyncrasies. It makes them human and relatable.

Why are you feeling so triggered? This was one thread where teachers were not flagellated, and here you are, whining.

Nobody called the teacher abusive. **I** was called an abuser for sticking up for the teacher. So when you ask why I'm triggered, it's because my character was questioned simply because I (gasp) thought it's reasonable to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. Several parents on this thread have said they will always believe their child. I"m here to say that occasionally, teens lie. I've had plenty of experience dealing with it over the years.

So, as the teacher who was actually flagellated (as you put it), I feel it's necessary to speak up. And... oh, I'm not "whining." Disagreeing with you is not "whining."

Except… that isn’t at all what you said. What you said is most students are unreliable narrators. Which is at odds with the actual data on children reporting abusive behavior— the statistics are between 1.8-10% By absolutely no means “most”.

So please get more training so you can be a safer person for these parents to entrust their children to.

[Anonymous]

Haha I had teachers over the years who were having affairs with students, who showed up hungover, who overshared their personal lives, etc.

People are people.

[Anonymous]

I’d believe her.

1. These are not the type of lies a kid makes up.
2. The kid doesn’t have a history of lies.
3. Teachers are really bad now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an algebra teacher who used to scream "both sides of the equation" and pick up a chair and brandish it at us. DD tales sound plausible to me.

Ha. I would do that too. Do you know how many kids forget that???

We all had to recite in gregorian chant "what thou doest unto one side of the equation, thou must doest unto the other."
Awesome teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an algebra teacher who used to scream "both sides of the equation" and pick up a chair and brandish it at us. DD tales sound plausible to me.

Ha. I would do that too. Do you know how many kids forget that???

We all had to recite in gregorian chant "what thou doest unto one side of the equation, thou must doest unto the other."
Awesome teacher.

Lol. I don't think we ever told parents..We just scooched desks back farther from his desk. We called him "Dammit __mit." Name rhymed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an algebra teacher who used to scream "both sides of the equation" and pick up a chair and brandish it at us. DD tales sound plausible to me.

Sounds like you remember the concept.

[Anonymous]

Teens (like most of us tbh) are unreliable narrators, but occasionally teachers really are wildly inappropriate in ways that cross clear lines. One of my kid’s teachers was this way, and if got worse not better (he’s in prison now for predation). There was a lot of skepticism among the adults about students’ claims early on.