Neighbor kept having children until she had a girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who do stuff like this are emotionally limited and don't understand the parent-child relationship.

My MIL didn't do this but also spent her entire life lamenting the fact that she never had a girl (she had two boys). In the meantime, she made no effort to develop healthy relationships with her sons. She could have had two wonderful relationships with the two kids she was fortunate to have. Instead she harmed three people (herself and both of her kids) by refusing to evolve beyond the childish belief that you need to share your gender with a child in order to be close or loving.

People like this are too wrapped up in gender narratives and often trying to repeat their own childhoods

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so grateful I had both genders- girl, boy, girl. I’m sure I would have had up to 5 to have a girl. 3 was what we wanted though. Stupid, but I don’t think my life would have been complete without a girl. I just had so much I wanted to share with my daughters!

That being said, I love my son a lot too. I’m glad I didn’t only have girls because I find women who only had girls to be out of touch.

Can you elaborate on this? Because my mom only had girls, I only have boys, and I feel like a lot of her endless criticism of my parenting stems from this.

This is so real. My mom had ADD girls. I have ADHD boys. It’s not the same assignment.

Out of touch on how hard it is to parent boys?

I only have girls and am curious. But I suspect it may be different when the kids get older. Out of touch on how hard parenting teen girls can be

DifferentPoster
I wouldn't say its more difficult at all, but there are trends in behavior that follow gender, despite the plentiful outliers. We all know tomboys and less active boys and gendered qualities are a mixed bag in any individual. Still, a cub scout meeting and a daisy meeting would be a great glimpse into the differences where a small faction of moms to only girls will be bewildered and aghast at boy behavior declaring parents raising boys who will rape and plunder the world because they are not under control and boys will be boys is an excuse of jackals but the likelihood is that boys will be boys and girls will be girls. The stress is somewhat flipped when tween drama hits and of course there are outliers again (I know a few boys that stand out from the rest in creating drama and many chilled out girls). Again, its not a flaw to feel high levels of energy as a child or high levels of emotion as a tween/teen. Its just stuff we have to go through and having kids who conform or rebel from gender norms is not something that needs to be shamed.

Exhibit A of stupid gendered nonsense.

[Anonymous]

My parents had 3 girls and then 5 boys all in 12 years. The boys travelled in a pack and all went to same boys high school. Having the girls first definitely was a help on a big family.
They wee both college graduates and worked hard to provide a college education for all of us. iBoth parents lived to 96 and 99, married 72 years and saw all 20 grandchildren grow up with a 25 year span and youngest heading to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents had 3 girls and then 5 boys all in 12 years. The boys travelled in a pack and all went to same boys high school. Having the girls first definitely was a help on a big family.
They wee both college graduates and worked hard to provide a college education for all of us. iBoth parents lived to 96 and 99, married 72 years and saw all 20 grandchildren grow up with a 25 year span and youngest heading to college.

What a perfect big family!

[Anonymous]

Of course. Because girls are amazing!

But other than that - why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Some people should just buy a doll.

[Anonymous]

It's so sad to see parents treat their children as disposable when they aren't their preferred sex.

Children aren't play things, but too many parents treat them as mini-mes to dress up and play with rather than autonomous human beings.

But you always know the parents who kept going until they had XYZ aren't good parents anyways...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people should just buy a doll.

Agreed. People who obsess over having a child of a specific gender often have totally unrealistic expectations of what it will be like. If they are looking for a child the same sex as they are, they often assume the kid will just be a carbon copy of them, or that the child will correct all their mistakes as a "second chance." That's not how parenting works! Or how people work or how kids work. But even if they aren't looking for a mini-me, the gender-obsessed parents are often really reductive and weirdly competitive about gender. Thinking about my aunt (with only boys) who told my mom (with boys and girls) that boys are SO much easier and girls are all trouble and drama. Or my friend with only girls who will go all "ick ick boys are the worst" because she encounters ONE badly behaved boy in public, even though her oldest has behavioral issues and I've seen do worse more than once (I have had to replace furniture because of that girl's antics).

It's just simple thinking and shows a lack of critical thinking. Not ideal for parenting, which requires a lot of critical thinking to navigate well.

[Anonymous]

My parents originally wanted 2, a boy and a girl. They had my brother first, wonderful little boy, then they had me - their girl. But I wasn't the girl they wanted. I was a wild child, a tomboy, hell on wheels, wanted to spend my days climbing trees, finding dead animals, playing in the mud, doing jumps on my bike, didn't have a girly girl bone in my body. Hated pink and dresses and bows and dolls.
So they had another, my sister, and thankfully she was girl they wanted - into girly things who liked all the feminine stuff.

So they had their lovely well behaved boy and their girl...and then they also had their feral child - me!

They went on to have another boy who was also very sweet and well behaved.

Out of the 4 kids, I was the only problem child. The other three were rule following, sweet, liked traditional gender normed toys and activities and were the model kids.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple who raised 2 boys, had young grandchildren (boys) and decided to adopt a little girl from a home for children in a country they visited on a church trip. They talked to their sons first who were on board and agreed they were both willing to be guardians as needed. The families all dotted on this girl who is probably in her late teens or early 20s now.

[Anonymous]

You should tank him. These kids will pay for your social security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so grateful I had both genders- girl, boy, girl. I’m sure I would have had up to 5 to have a girl. 3 was what we wanted though. Stupid, but I don’t think my life would have been complete without a girl. I just had so much I wanted to share with my daughters!

That being said, I love my son a lot too. I’m glad I didn’t only have girls because I find women who only had girls to be out of touch.

Out of touch? What do you mean?
I wanted two kids. I got two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents had 3 girls and then 5 boys all in 12 years. The boys travelled in a pack and all went to same boys high school. Having the girls first definitely was a help on a big family.
They wee both college graduates and worked hard to provide a college education for all of us. iBoth parents lived to 96 and 99, married 72 years and saw all 20 grandchildren grow up with a 25 year span and youngest heading to college.

'Having the girls first' does this mean they did the majority of parenting?