Missing Move-In Weekend: How Bad?

[Anonymous]

Hey OP - You need to go, forget work for once. It’s an emotional day for everyone including the kid who pretends it’s no big deal. Most importantly, your son/daughter will always remember that you were not there.

[Anonymous]

My dad never came to move in. It was just my mom and I. It was embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your priorities straight, OP. Work can wait. Your kid is moving into college for the first time!

Work can wait. I’m an elementary school principal who missed the first two days of school so that I could be there to move my kid to college. Everyone—parents, teachers, my boss— supported me, and I have zero regrets.

Agree. And I work in a pretty demanding industry / role. Draw a boundary.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but I cannot even believe this is a question. I don't care what job you have that is so important as to miss this moment in your child's journey. Your job will not be at your funeral, jobs don't love us back. Get your priorities straight.

[Anonymous]

would be a lot harder on me than any of my kids. but none of my kids would love it, although they wouldnt say so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea how your child would feel, or what the work conflict is, and typically I don't like to give a one-size-fits-all answer. But, I wouldn't have wanted to miss it for anything. Logistically, it was easier to have more of us toting things in from the car, helping to unload, running out to get something we forgot, etc. Emotionally, it was helpful to our DD to have me there to make conversation with her new roommate's parents while my husband built the nightstand and fooled with other things. She also knew that we were there for her and that this was a huge event for our family. Every family is different, but she depends on each of us for different things and it was nice that she had both of our undivided attention.

When we said goodbye to our daughter (our oldest, so she was the first to leave the nest), I'm really glad my husband and I had each other. We were sad, excited, and anxious and it was really nice to go out for a drink and dinner and process the day together.

All of this. Right down to me making conversation with the roommates parents while DH was trying to figure out how to build the nightstand. The last part hit home because it was such a big moment for us as parents and it was nice to be able to process it with each other.

If it’s not possible to be there at move-in, I agree with the PPs not to come a few days later. Visiting during parents weekend, while crowded, would mean many other kids will have family there so they aren’t necessarily missing out on social events while you are there.

[Anonymous]

We did not have a car big enough for his stuff and 3 people. Dad stayed home. He called and we shared pictures. It was totally fine. But it's a personal thing...if it's not fine fur you then go
DD was freshly class of 2020. We were hardly allowed out of the car. We all survived as well

[Anonymous]

Worth assessing what gives you comfort as a person and what you think your child might want/need.

If you are gonna be anxious or will stress out your kid, maybe not. But otherwise think about what best suits you all.

For me, I love to see the space in which my loved-ones work or live. I’ve always been this way; my husband will ask - do you wanna see my new office? And, I always truly do wish to see it. Maybe odd, but it’s nice for me - and not an issue for him.

As for move-in, we were both able to be there for our kids. It was helpful to have two extra people to help set up and run errands.

With one child, we also got to meet the roommates and their parents, which was lovely!

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Others here have covered all the practical and emotional details. For us, it was an important day, a milestone for us. My DW and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Go unless the work requirement is unavoidable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may have a work conflict. I don't want to miss the big weekend but this might be difficult to change. How bad is it to miss freshman move-in? Ok to arrive the Monday-Tuesday after? Spouse would be able to go.

It would have to be a huge huge work conflict for me to miss my kid's college move in first year. Or I'd have to be very ill, have a dying parent, etc. If it's one of those, then make sure your spouse is there with your kid. Yes it's possible for kids to go with one parent or even alone IF NEEDED.

I also think this depends on the kid. DD would have been very upset not to have mom there. I would have been very upset not to be there. It did take all 3 of us to move in, clean, set up her room. The college didn't give us much time for any of this.

Kid #2 - a boy - would probably care far less. I still want to be there though.

I will say that with kid #1, we both went first year. But after that just one of us went to move in because the other had to be with the younger kid at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your priorities straight, OP. Work can wait. Your kid is moving into college for the first time!

1000%

You won’t die wishing you didn’t miss this work thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some schools have activities for parents during move in week

And those activities are absolutely unnecessary and not something that should enter into OP’s decision.

OP I agree with PPs that you really should try to be there for your kid (and your spouse and yourself) since this is a pretty big rite of passage. Unless the work event is unmovable - and there are some that are, I was in an IR position and had a relative become critically ill the day before my company was ringing the bell at the exchange - I would try to skip or move the conflict.

[Anonymous]

Tell us the work conflict Op.

I'm trying to think of a "work conflict" that is so important to trump your first born kid's move-in day?

[Anonymous]

As I always say, work collegues might notice you're gone for a monent or two, but your kid will notice (AND remember) you're gone for a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your priorities straight, OP. Work can wait. Your kid is moving into college for the first time!

This.